Arcata

[for_the_fiya]

I've tried commenting on the entries of two friends and couldn't come up with much more than "I'm tired" and good god I am. The power cord to my computer has shorted out and I'm on a library machine. Its near squealing, that light sound that resembles a star trek teleporter. My shoulders ache and it gets worse by the day. I miss intimacy, a lot.

Comments

[maiamops]

god, we are so in the same boat. last night drifting off to sleep i wanted a male body against mine so, so badly, even though i wasn't horny. and it was distracting me how much i wanted one all of a sudden. i don't know where it came from. then i thought how there was no where to get one i wanted, and how in california most likely i won't have a relationship in that little community bubble, and i won't get to have a male body against mine in months...
it was such a desperate feeling, i can't describe it. where did it come from?! i tried to masturbate it away but that didn't work because it wasn't about sex and it didn't feel good really. finally the solution i came up with, "you need something to do, work-wise." to occupy myself. and then i fell asleep.
also, the place i'm going to work is like an hour south of arcata... or something.

[for_the_fiya]

Its a desire that disempowers me so, I feel helpless to satisfy or at least work with this feeling. It nullifies every option I come up with; "no, that wouldn't be right to do"..."I can't do that." So I stuff it down or try to meditate on it and ease it away. And the most success I find is to be constantly drunken with other things, when I'm working on a bike or reading about something I'm excited about, the desire subsides. However, when I find myself listless or unoccupied, it creeps back in. And there are so many beautiful girls in Arcata. It looks as if I'm leaving Arcata for Ashland on thursday or so but we'll probably not cross paths, yeh?

[maiamops]

well, we would be able to hang out but my train route doesn't actually go through there.
...are you thinking of moving there?
and i totally have noticed the beautiful girls in arcata thing.