Just in case you haven't figured it out.. I still use my LJ even thought I swore to myself I'd stop :P It's 'Friends Only' now.. so add and be added :)

i'm not using LJ anymore. so yea. done.

self-doubt is killing me. i don't like it one bit. especially cause its making me question things that shouldn't be questioned! like the fact that i'm questioning whether my friends need me anymore. idk. i feel like i'm not wanted anymore. i've been kind of isolated all week. which is making me sad. and i'm just putting myself down a lot. which ( Read more... )

this weekend was hella fun! :D

( Read more... )

"Good Things Happen To Those Who Wait."
ohmygod. ohmygod. oh. my. god.
my summer. everything. its all just changed. in the blink of an eye. changed.
i'm.. i'm going to Germany. to work for a family the people i babysit for know. for i think all of July. andand AND.. they're taking me to Spain at the end of June. people i don't even know, want to do ( Read more... )

today. hm. yea. about that.
idk what was wrong with me today. i wasn't in the greatest mood all morning, and then during lunch, i just broke down. sobbing. the kind of sobbing where you can't breathe and your body shakes and you don't know what to do about it. yea. that kind. in school. who does that?
so in my last block, i wrote down on paper a lot ( Read more... )

i have a big knot in my back. :( it hurts when i push my shoulders back. and i got hit in the face in the lax game today.. by my own teammate. awesome. i'm being a girl &freaking out over something i didn't even fully hear. and i'm doubting myself again. and being insecure. and hoping he doesnt know. i get attached too easily. andand anddd.. =/

i don't like it when i question my own feelings. and i REALLY don't like when i question someone elses. i want to know what someone else thinks about me. how they feel about me. but at the same time, i don't. and i'm too afraid to ask it straight forward cause thats how i am. i just want to know what he thinks when hes looking at me.. and talking ( Read more... )

things are changing.
my feelings, my friends, my life, everything. it's changing.
The Art Table's dead. like.. completely. i don't want it to be, but it basically is. =/
i'm reconnecting with old friends, which is great. and i'm even making some new friends.. :D
idk how good or bad this'll all turn out. should be interesting. thats for sure.
but on the ( Read more... )

i hate how the divorce is going. i hate my lacrosse team. i hate how i have to keep lying not only to everyone else, but to myself. sometimes i can't tell the difference between my own lies &the truth. i hate feeling selfish. i hate crying. i hate this weekend so far. i hate feeling worthless. i hate my family. i hate what i'm going through.
i hate ( Read more... )