Comments | forgeterance: Aquarius

forgeterance

Aquarius - 1

Nov 06, 2009 21:14

( Cloud x Riku (posted here cause y! is on read-only....)... )

Comments 4

argent_zephyr November 7 2009, 11:13:17 UTC

This is great.. the plot is intriguing and I love the way you write

forgeterance November 7 2009, 18:45:15 UTC

Thanks hun :D, *hugs*

velvetkoi November 7 2009, 15:31:24 UTC

I love all the figurative speech you're using. The switching from one POV to another, back and forth, can be tricky, but I think you're pulling it off pretty good for a first time. This story has really pulled me in and made me want to follow it.

forgeterance November 7 2009, 18:46:21 UTC

Thanks, I think I wanna push on more figurative in this story, I don't know why just seems like a story that would need it.

As for the POV, it is a bit tricky, sometimes I think he thinks too much but then again he is Cloud...