what ever happened to the motivation? the determination?
the ambition to do something and the drive to keep doing it?
the power to keep going & that thought inside my head,
to not stop til i got to the top and not to quit until i was finished.
cuz my adrenaline ran out when you went away
and i cant seem to find it , it hasnt been the same.

I think that i am in serious need of starting a hobby. I cant honestly say right now i have no interests, and a horrible social life. I don't even think that i really actually have a personality that is unique. I don't do what i want to do, i don't live life on the edge, I don't drink anymore, and I don't do drugs either, but i could possibly be ( Read more... )

 I dont really think that people really realize who i am. What i'm thinking. What i want to do. What i need to do. You know?

like i feel like no matter who surrounds me, no matter how many friends i can make, no ones going to know me.
I don't even know myself.
With my friends, i feel so annoyed. Like honestly I don't know how i ended up where i am ( Read more... )

I'm not sure whats going on with me. I no longer feel like i'm responsible for myself. I don't do what i want to do, even if i did, what are my options? i feel alone as ever, forever and always. I don't know when i'm going to wake up from this dream, i don't know whats going to happen. I need to get out of this town. I dug myself a hole and im ( Read more... )

Ok so .. couple hours after and i can say i'm feelin a bit better. Still fell pretty fuckin shitty but ill get through this.

fuck
this
shit

enough said.

However, thats a lie. Theres alot to be said! I am sooo beyond angry right now. I started today as a good day, skipped first to go to Tim Hortons and got my nails done. Went to 2nd and had an ok day, some laughs. My friends are snobby bitches but whatever, i'll deal. THAN!! i go to go to my co op but oh wait i have to ask ( Read more... )

Ok just  a small statement here: I dont know if its because im PMSing or because i honestly am a bit insane but I CANNOT STAND MYSELF FOR ANOTHERRRRR SECOND.

So what am i supposed to do? 
I can't run because i cant run from myself, i can only run from my problems.
I can't confide in anyone but myself, so i remain alone.
I can't relate to people around ( Read more... )

i hope that im dreaming right now and ill be waking up soon.
i hope the blood in my veins pours out so i can get ride of you.
you're in everythind i fuckin do.

fuck

soooo .. I am soo pissed. i got my report card and they said that i didnt return a textbook..which i didnt.. BUT i had to pay 80 dollars !! isnt that stuppppidd?!?! my sister takes that from me in a day and now the school wants to take my money too. how stupidd. ughh. but i guess it is my fualt, and the only person im really mad at is myself ( Read more... )

so summer is hereee . Well im sure you already know that. But anyways, im trying to have a blast. So far alls i do is party, swim, and work. did i mention work? oh and ..work. hahhaa. LOTS OF WORK. ughh, haha. oh welllll. its money. i dont even have that many shifts it just sucks to think that you have to go and slave for the community. atleast u ( Read more... )