The first woman I loved, he said ( Read more... )

After reading some of my past output, I recently concluded that my unfiltered writing will one day reach incomprehensibility to anyone but myself [were anyone else to see it, of course]. Similarly, it appears that my cooking will become inedible even to those with a stout palate. My dishes were already too spicy for many, but today I moved beyond ( Read more... )

Did I wake up accidentally in some bizarro alternate universe? Something is just off.

I've begun to preface all stories of my 'tragic' developments with, "Something horrible...well, funny has happened."

Recursion. What is really being asked of me?

This morning on the asphalt, I saw the dried curls of dead worms.

Hmm. Well. That explains everything. Apparently I am the elephant in the room.

Even my work friend of four weeks knows enough about my situation to realize that any sentence beginning with, "My sister's fiance..." won't end well.

I wonder if she ever looks at me and wishes that I'd stayed in New York.

Spam texts. I've been getting them sporadically for about a year and a half now. Since I don't have a texting plan, and I must pay per text, they piss me off just a little. At least I'm not being inundated with them; I've known some people who had an excessive number of spam texts ( Read more... )

Even just a few minutes can do the trick.

I couldn't stop laughing.

Dino Crisis 2

I'm not a heavy tv watcher, so this is probably old news. There is a commercial for a pregnancy test [Clearblue Digital] which describes the testing machine as "the most sophisticated piece of technology you will ever pee on ( Read more... )

I feel warm on the inside all the time.

After going through some old papers, I realized that with the exception of my sister, I no longer speak to anyone who attended my father's funeral. Well, it has been 12 years.

Finally, I will use the poll feature.

Poll Tooth Quality

Yes, I will vote in my own poll.