- 86 [Written / Action]

[fortunefail]

[It's been three weeks now. Three weeks since Mithos died. Yuan should know, he's the one who killed him. Now everything is quiet- too quiet. Revivals don't usually take this long, which means Mithos could very well be hiding out somewhere. Finally, he decides to put this to the test and makes an attempt to contact him.]

Comments

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[imatreenow]

[Mithos frowns down at the journal, suspicious and alarmed. Yuan knows that he's returned, but it doesn't seem like he knows anything regarding his whereabouts or his condition... And he fully intends to keep it that way. Before replying, he'll obscure the small snapshot of himself - he isn't going to risk giving any clues away.]

What business is it of yours?

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[fortunefail]

[While Yuan was expecting to receive a response eventually, that doesn't mean he's particularly happy about it.]

I was only curious to see whether the Malnosso had returned you yet. [And now he has his answer.]

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[imatreenow]

Despite what you may have wished, I won't disappear so easily. [and he's had a lot of time to reflect on his spite and hatred for you, Yuan. Even though he knows it's the Malnosso who require a penalty payment for being returned to life, he's definitely placing all the blame for his leg on his former companion. As if he needed more reasons to hate.]

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[fortunefail]

If only I were so lucky.

[He knows perfectly well Mithos will want to get his revenge. He knows perfectly well that Mithos will want him to pay for what he did- even more now than ever before. It's a price Yuan's willing to pay as long as Mithos's death penalty was steep enough to stop him from harming any more innocents.]

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[imatreenow]

[Well that's too bad. As unhappy as he is with life, he is kept firmly attached to the notion of living by the slow-to-die hope that Martel could come back. Even if it would re-open the pain of knowing that she didn't understand...he's still desperate to see his sister again. Beyond desperate. Hanging inside a paradox - to hate the day-to-day of living, but to be unready to return to the permanent death that awaits him beyond Luceti.]

The feeling is mutual. I look forward to the day you leave this world for good.

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[fortunefail]

As do I.

[The day he leaves this world for good is the day he gets to go back home and forget all about the things that happened here. He'll get to continue with his life as if nothing happened. It won't be much of a life, but it beats being stuck here.]

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[imatreenow]

Then we would both get what we want...

You would never have to see me again [because I'm dead, you asshole - too bad the written word can't absorb such inflections], and I could await Martel's return here. [he thinks about adding 'in peace' to the end of that, but that isn't true at all, not with Lloyd and Kratos and so many others here as well]

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[fortunefail]

You can't stay here with her forever. Even if she returns, some day you'll be forced apart again.

[That's something Yuan's come to accept at a very early stage. Then he came to realize that the "some day" is sooner rather than later. Less than a year, usually.]

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[imatreenow]

Shut up. She'll keep returning to me, even if she leaves for a short while. [Such is the nature of this world...and he'll wait, for as long as he needs to, as many times as he needs to, because no matter how painful or frustrating, it's still better than nothing.]

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[fortunefail]

[He sighs at that, but the journal won't pick up on it. Why is he even still discussing this with Mithos?]

You're a fool.

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[imatreenow]

[He could ask himself the same question... Maybe it just feels necessary to make sure Yuan knows his temporary death hasn't deterred him from anything. .....Well, unless it involves walking places.]

I am not a fool for loving my sister.

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[fortunefail]

Of course not. You're a fool for not letting her go.

[That's the whole problem, isn't it? It'd be fine if Mithos only loved her, but his inability to give her up is what caused him to lose his mind in the first place.]

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[imatreenow]

You don't leave someone you love, you stay with them.

[and even if he wanted to let go and turn away from the past, he couldn't. He can't. Not when it's so deeply rooted inside him.]

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[fortunefail]

And you honor their memory when they die, by letting them rest in peace. Death is meant to be absolute.

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[imatreenow]

[I need you to understand that you need to let me go. Martel's words to him, telling him that he should have accepted her death, echoing sharply inside. Making him feel like he should start curling in on himself, preparing for implosion.

There's a long gap before he writes his response. Another reason to be grateful that this encounter isn't in person: he can hide without having to force anger on top of the aching sadness.]

But I don't want it to be.

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[fortunefail]

[And there he is. That young child that's still hidden inside Mithos after four thousand years. It's this notion that makes Yuan feel slight remorse over what he did. Not that he could have taken a different course of action.]

No one does. However, it isn't our place to question it, let alone attempt to change it.