Ruby: FOSCO, BE MY GAY MAN
Fosco: OKAY
Ruby: YAY
Fosco: RUBY, BE MY HERMAPHODITE LESBIAN LOVER
Ruby: OKAY

Life's lesson for today:

Rubbing alcohol + lemonade = bad substitute for beer.

I was just about to say I had a boyfriend. (Read: <333 My Elvish Papercut.)

But then I remembered I had a wife.

...

I need a sandwich. ;_;

So like,

Father's day.

Did one of my darling children get me something? Eh?! It's the day AFTER Father's day and I see no bearers of gifts or cards stating how y'all love me.

>:| For shame.

And sometimes, you just gotta keep track of which livejournal you're logged into.

That is all.

Edit: Aw, sueing people takes to much effort. Feeding the fish makes me wheezy, getting a lawyer would kill me for the second time.

However, I'll leave the below here, because I wanna be the COOL dad. Oh yeah, I am one smooth motherfucker:

"PS: I want to start getting jiggy with the son. I have been informed that incest is the lastest fad."

You know, I was given the impression, that when your dead, you get peace and quiet. Rest. Relaxation.

I'm getting nagging. Constant, unwavering nagging"Oh, Fosco! Get off your fatass once and a while and go mow the lawn ( Read more... )

KYAHAHAHA.

Needing sandwiches badly (liek omg) MR. SWAN SAYS HELLO. :D

*Eats Mr. Swan*

Firstly:

Mandos is the shit.

Secondly:

I don't want to leave. All the sandwiches I could possibly ever eat without the possibility of...you know, dying. I'm already dead. AHAHA.

Thirdly:Apparently the wife disagrees with this. She's been tweaking my nipples chanting, "Live, live, live!" If you couldn't tell, I am a sexy bitch, motherfucker. ( Read more... )

I'M DEAD.

There aren't any foodbars here. This sucks, man.

RUBY!

Get yer ass up down over dude, where the fuck is this? in here and make me a sandwich.