help!

[frankie_b_goode]

All right boys and girls, I need assistance. I need you to break out your minds and your grammar skills or just your intuition and do me a favor. Read the story posted below and give me your honest, completely even brutally honest opinion. You think there is something wrong, post a comment. You see a spelling error I didn't catch, you post a

Comments

[yabbieizme]

i will use my wonderful "microsoft word editing" technology, but i will first require an e-mail address

[frankie_b_goode]

frankiebgoode @ gmail.com

[brainyostrich04]

Great story, well written...the only think I don't like is the fact that you made her a schizophrenic. Schizophrenics are very rarely violent. They hurt themselves, not other people. If you could maybe find some other mental illness?

[frankie_b_goode]

To be honest, when I wrote this I was having visions of my sister's mental problems, although hers are usually exasterbated by some combination of drugs and alcohol which then makes her "gone" enough to hurt anyone, although it is usually herself.
I'll see if I can find something more appropriate as a condition for the character's problems. I realized rather suddenly when I saw your comment that I was a butthead for not looking into it before hand. Thank you for being honest.

[brainyostrich04]

Okay so when I opened your blog today to see if you had updated it took a little while to load and all I could see for at least 10 seconds was "Alright boys and girls, I need ass"

I just thought it was really stinking funny.

http://avesnovuelan.blogspot.com

I Approve :)

[anonymous]

I like the story, good luck with the contest!

-Anon
http://theunwed.blogspot.com