We all want to be good at something. It's so easy to look at someone else's life and think... they've got it easy. I look at the talent and intelligence of the people in my life and fill with envy. I struggle with feeling mediocre... full of self-pity and yearning. What I am starting to think is that everybody has talent and potential... but what ( Read more... )

Its hard to decide if I've got this sinking feeling because I think that everyone is disappointed in me.. or if it's just me disappointed in myself.

I always do this.. second-guess my choices.. spend hours of time and energy on shouldas and couldas. I like to let other people decide how things should go.. because if I am the one to make the choice ( Read more... )

Hey, you! Yeah.. you. I'm talkin' to you. Get your shit together! Yeah.. all that stuff you keep talkin' about doing? How about you actually sit down and DO IT ( Read more... )

Sometimes I am a creep, creep, creeper.

I'm working for hours upon hours each day and for many of them I find myself staring at the computer screen for something to feed my mind. I play games for hours at addictinggames.com, email friends and family, hell, I started livejournaling again... but its never enough to occupy me. I get bored quickly and ( Read more... )

While I waited in the holding pen at Joe's Crab Shack for the rest of my party to arrive, I sat in the awkward wooden bench watching the people around me. I found myself following the behavior of two women ( Read more... )

I am always full of random bits of information. Weird facts about a little bit of everything just floating around up there... jumping into my stream of consciousness at strange times. Today I couldn't get this out of my mind ( Read more... )

Siigh... Thinking about picking back up on journaling. But I don't know how public I want this to be ( Read more... )

This is why I don't talk about it. Why I never get my hopes up. Because it's not real.. it doesn't happen. It'll never go anywhere. it's amazingly frustrating... you know? To wish to the bottom of you.. for something else. Something better.

I am a foolish, foolish girl.

I made the mistake of telling you how I really felt about myself ( Read more... )

I never know what my reaction should be to certain events.

Sometimes before I am able to process my thoughts, I find myself wondering... what am I supposed to feel about this? Is this the appropriate reaction to this?

How much concern do I allow myself to show?

Even at insanely emotional/uncontrolled moments I still try and do what's "right"