worked on a new song today- one that i had originally some serious sludge metal guitars for, and some other vocals that i did- more like a kind of gutteral whispering- was'nt really happy with the guitar on the track so i recut both guitar tracks and eventually just threw out the vocal and tried to lay down a new one, this after three takes and ( Read more... )

i hung out in front of a venue that had a hardcore show today- might as well been a em-fest for all the puseodo-punkrockness, i mean i have actually lived the life a little bit, and paid for it with a little blood sweat and tears. Either way i think i hate new-school hardcore, seems to be all about the fashion and nothing really about the "life" ( Read more... )

ironically today i have a severe twist of pain come over me-like i had swatted it off me for a few days of sunshine and then the clouds of gloom came over me. I mean i am a particular fan of exploring my dark nature-but as of late optimism has been a key ingredient in getting me out and doing things, but my bodie seems marred-my freak nature has'nt ( Read more... )

its one of those days, highs and lows and pretty much feeling no better then a super intelligent chimpanzee, knowing all well my brain power is trapped in this damn bodie but can't conversate very well with it and so i look like a raging retard a lot. especially when i am tired, i have been working the last three days at a printing press stacking ( Read more... )

spent the last two days completely in slumberland pretty much. it was a sort of deep of nite kind where i dug deep into the chasms of insecurites and some kind of odd nightmare-lucid dream where i was living in someones house. I can remember the details almost exactly to some great degree. IT was not an odd thing really and then there was the ( Read more... )

made no real progress with poetry, my physical health is ebbing a little right now. Perhaps i need to work on that a bit, or eat better. However though i am making some breakthroughs in my theorum-although i need to keep busy and such as idle time tends to get me thinking to much on things and that tends to lead down a bit darker path then i wish ( Read more... )

recently i find myself on the precipise of hermaphoditism, insanity and revelation to some extent. The religiousity of what i believe is causing me suffering, however i seem not to relent to the condition at hand? what taboo's have i not crossed in this life? what condition is'nt? i could hardly thank anyone for the lessons i have learned in my ( Read more... )

had a fairly uneventful friday nite. worked on musick a bit. hung out with a friend i had not seen in quite a while. went for a drive listening to an industrial tribute CD to pink floyd. Otherwise my money stash is almost gone and i need to make more. I have been typing out my poetry and still have a good ten or 12 more pages to go til i get done ( Read more... )

i begin tonite with a can of rockstar and some chili-mac with onions. I guess i need to begin the update on my website and such, going to add some new poetry and the like on it. And so forth, money trickles down a little pretty much but i don't really care. Work keeps calling me to work, and I keep working on projects. Its all a matter of confusion ( Read more... )

hmm, well i made it through my job for a week. By the end of the week i was so neurotic i guess that the crew thought i was forrest gump, which works well for grifting but not for work i guess. Meh, it was a lot of gas = i went through $20 in gas just getting to work in a week! but i was glad for the work, as much it was a good temp job to get ( Read more... )