everyone's becoming a bad ass. i just want to stay the girl i used to be. i know i tried it out a little and i shouldn't have. i wish i hadn't, at least not in the horrible way i did or without the one i love- the one guy i wish i had tried it with (yes, you my mousie). i hate myself for it. i guess i kinda proved that to you this weekend with some ( Read more... )

i'll never get to wear apparel from my bf's school anymore ;-( coz he's not my bf anymore and i never got any clothes from rutgers, like i really wanted.

i am so f-ing depressed and crying all the time. i really hope i just run into a wall and die. i wish this because part of me believes that it's not possible for things to go back to the way they were in december 2005. the other part of me, or i guess i really always am "livin on a prayer", doubts it'll ever come true. im so miserable all the time ( Read more... )

i hate this, i hate life, i hate myself. i've just completely ruined my life for good over the past 3 months. why am i the stupidest person ever? i hate it. it makes me cry even more each day. i havent written my feelings down on paper for some time. maybe that was part of the problem. i just began a poem today in class (which runs for 4 hours). ( Read more... )

im always afraid. i used to not be afraid of as much but now that many years have gone by, i can say i am afraid of more. so instead of doing things, i dont and just avoid the whole situation. because of this tho i have lost most of my friends from high school and camp and have failed to make many at college. and the ones i could consider friends ( Read more... )

things have been hectic here for the past month i would say... im settling into my new house more but i def miss my old one since i lived there for about 13 years. it's not as bad as it could be tho since im just moved like 10 min away. but like i have had all this family/house stuff to do that i havent caught up with friends from home or camp or ( Read more... )

i really feel like writing something here. but im not really sure what to say. whatever i do write no one is going to read, that's just how it is with me and this. it makes me think how much the people i think are my friends really care about me and are my friends-- since no one responds. and only sometmes do people respond when i feel like shit ( Read more... )

so i turned in my first essay for english... the final draft i mean... and my prof was like the instructions for essay #2 are posted already! i guess i dont get a break-- well a week to figure out which one of the topics i want to use and a thesis. at least this time all my stuff is due on monday's and not friday's ( Read more... )

so im at school and i guess i have gotten away from updating.. as you can all tell (or no one-- if no one ever reads this, except for maybe vishaal) but i have been busy and other things have been complicated but i can say that i am extremely glad i am with you vishaal. i love you ( Read more... )

today i finally got my roommate and dorm #/building... and address too. it's super cool... im either on the 1st floor or im in the basement coz my room # is 018. my roommate's name is maria and i think she lives in maryland (most people who go to salisbury live in MD ( Read more... )