just another line crossing threw a box on a calendar

[free_wings00]

All I have been thinking about is how fat fat fat fat I seem lately. How ridiculous is it that I spent the majority of my day thinking about how disgusting it is that I have ' back fat . '  I just wish I had the self discipln I had earlier this year were I would only eat 12 grapes for each meal . But no , I have turned into this large humpy dee

Comments

[lozzy]

You shouldn't feel like you failed at your goal because you need to eat, and it has to be more than just grapes (although now you're making me want grapes! haha).

Track will be good exercise. But you have to eat, otherwise you'll pass out while you're running or something. I'm sure you'll be great, but it's okay if you're not the best. I'm impressed that you're even doing track; I could barely run the mile in gym class, lol. I'm not super out of shape (although I could definitely use some work to get back in shape!) but I just suck at running. So when people are on teh track team I'm like, "How do they do it? I couldn't do that!"

Good luck!! :)

[free_wings00]

Heehe Lauren ! Thanks for the encouragment . & I'm sure that if you ever tried to do track you would be able to do it , there are so many different events ! Its an amazing sport .

*HUG*

[cestlamour_xx]

Its hard to say this, because I feel exactly the same almost all the time. However, I cannot be your "friend" on livejournal anymore and continue to see you posting things like this. Its ridiculous .Youre not fat, Cori and you seriously need help. Theres a difference between writing about the struggles with an eating disorder, and writing something I feel like Id read on one of those "proana' LJ communities pages. I'm sorry. I hope you get better. Thats all.

Laura.

[free_wings00]

This isn't to be a bitch at all , but if you have noticed girls/gusy who write on proana sites or whatever are writing about their struggles too!

My whole deal is , fine don't be my friend I am okay with that if you aren't comfortable with that because you know something , it isn't your issue at all and it doesn't effect you . Another thing is I started my livejournal so that I could write about that stuff , if you don't like if then don't be my friend on there. Also , you were one of the ones who said that I should post about my struggle .. you are going against what you previously said . You only know the little portions that I write about , not my whole life so don't sit her and judge me I'd appricaite it . I appricaite the support but if that is going to be your attuitude then I am perfectly fine with you not being my friend .

[cestlamour_xx]

There is a difference between writing about struggles, and fighting between wanting help and not being sure and stuff like that, and writing about how fat you feel and how you wish you didn't anything but grapes, when you weigh 110 pounds (as you have stated) and are clearly not fat. Something this serious, needs help. And its scary and its hard, and I know that because my best friend Elise went through it a year and a half ago, but it needs to be acknowledged.

I'm sorry, for offending you and pissing you off and whatever. But its just too much for me now. I'm sorry for changing my mind, but I never said that I wouldnt.

[free_wings00]

Well you have obviously never delt with an eating disorder yourself , personally so really what you are saying is ignorance . I never said ' Oh I don't want help , ' I have stated before how I KNOW that I need help with it and I am working through it on my own withou professional help right now . Don't sit there and tell me that I am fighting between wanting help . I KNOW I DO . You have no right what so ever . So please , if you are going to keep being disrespectful you can delete me from my friends , because while I go through this I don't need people like you shoving stuff in my face thing they are high and mighty .