Comments | frodo04: (без темы)

frodo04

(Untitled)

Jun 22, 2006 16:06

So I fell off the face of the earth so it seems but I haven't really. I still feel like I am, like I'm somewhere far away. I feel like two diff. people. Ever since Zambia I've been super depressed. I don't get it. Do meds really work cuz for awhile I thought they were helping and I was doing better but now I'm down again. If I'm not working I ( Read more... )

Comments 9

vulnerablelove June 22 2006, 20:31:58 UTC

I love you, sweetheart. You have found mercy and love from all of us you're struggling in relationship with, but it's just a matter of whether it's in the form you want it. hun, you need both tenderness given to you and a kick in the butt. don't forget or lose sight of the fact that I love you very much, even though I may have to kick more than I give tenderness...

frodo04 June 23 2006, 04:06:12 UTC

kick in the butt, I hate that word :( I wish tenderness and kick in the butt didn't have to be together. I wish I could just get tenderness but I suppose I don't truly wish that because then where would I be? I just don't know how to take getting a kick in the butt. It brings up so much anger. Even what you wrote brought up so many diff. things in me. I know that you guys love me the problem is I'm struggling to see mercy, i suppose even if it was right in front of my face. I love you, hold fast to your faith and don't stop doing what you are doing, God will provide for you even when it is hard because of what you do and what kinds of reactions that brings up in people. And I think you should just be able to enjoy your relationship with Mike. I mean yeah you need to be cautious but at the same time God wants us to have joy. I don't know if this makes sense. I think one of the problems at least for me is miscommunication. Maybe you say something really really good but it doesn't come to me in the way you meant. I dunno... ( ... )

vulnerablelove June 23 2006, 17:08:58 UTC

yeah, it was a weird mish mash, but I loved it. thank you for the encouragement, dear. And maybe I don't encourage you enough, I know that with the kick in the butt encouragement should be paired with it. and if I dont' encourage you enough then I'm sorry. And I know that the kick in the butt is just as hard to take as the encouragement. but yeah...I love you sweetheart and hope to see you soon

frodo04 June 23 2006, 18:46:03 UTC

Actually I think I'm doing better with the encouragement thing but just really wrestling with the kick in the butt thing. Soo much anger and struggling to see God for who he really is. I often see in people like you what I think I see in God as an angry discipliner or something. It's hard for me to see the love and I do need both. I still feel so much is wrong in our relationship. Maybe it is because of all the anger and hurt and confusion inside of me. Thankyou for your love! love, Michelle
Hey do you like thrift shopping? Maybe we should do that sometime. And I think it would be sweet to hang out with you and just you sometime!

Thread 6

kidogo_elf June 23 2006, 05:08:32 UTC

I like you, Michelle:) You must tell me all about Zambia! we can talk about Africa for hours and hours.

Michelle, I ache for your struggles and your tender heart, but you know what, there is something about you that makes me want to talk to you and make you laugh. I hope God shows you this part of you that is only you, Michelle Gutmann. No one else can claim it, and it makes me love you very much!

P.S. you're real cute too, so you can just diregard anything that tells you otherwise!

kidogo_elf June 23 2006, 05:10:22 UTC

P.P.S that should be "disregard" not "diregard". I'm not sure what "diregard" means so we can make up a new meaning for it.:)

Fight scumoftheerth June 23 2006, 07:10:36 UTC

Keep fighting, dear Michwelle. I pray for you and Christ prays for also, as He interceds for all the saints at the right hand of God. Fight the feelings of insecurity and unworth, fight for your faith in this loving God we call Father. He formed each one of us uniquely and cares for each one of us personaly. Remember why He bled on a cross, because He loves you intensly, enough to give Himself for you. He cares about everything, every tear He holds dear. He thought you worth His blood, intense suffering and all sacrifice. He loves you and gave Himself for you. Spend time with your Father and Lover and enjoy knowing Him and being loved by Him. He wants to pour out His grace and mercy on you, because He loves you. You are loved, dear, and prayers go up to heaven on your behalf.