Why Movie Night Was a Bad, Bad Idea
Title: Why Movie Night Was a Bad, Bad Idea, Part I
Rating: R for language and violence
Characters/Pairings: Darcy/Steve
Warnings Completely based on the movies Avengers and Thor.
Summary: Steve finally met someone who didn't treat him like a science experiment gone right. In fact, Darcy turned out to be the brightest thing in a world where he no longer fit. So, when she suggested Movie Night as a way for him to get acclimated to his new life, Steve was all for it. Then, Tony stepped in.
Disclaimer: So much fiction, Heimdall could see it!
Steve Rogers, not Captain America, loved the movies. Loved them as a kid; loved the fact that his mother didn’t frown with worry when he and Bucky set off all the way to Manhattan to catch Newsreels followed by a cowboy flick in the snazziest theater known to man.
He loved the anonymity of the dark, where a sick, pasty, wheezy kid could sit surrounded by adults and not looked on with pity or distaste.
That little bit of pleasure ended with the birth of Captain America, especially since he starred in the newsreels more often than not. So, Steve assiduously avoided the theater. But whenever one crossed his path, he would sadly look upon the garish lights, the dramatic movie posters, missing his sickly childhood: something Steve never thought he’d do.
Then hell froze over and he ended up sleeping through everything that mattered to him, and woke up to a time where he was, at best, a sweet anachronism.
Steve retreated from this garish, new world, not interested in anything it had to offer, only to have his self-imposed isolation ended violently with Loki’s assault on humanity.
After the exhausting and emotionally tumultuous confrontation with Thor’s crazy not-brother, Steve instinctively sought out the best way to shed some of the pressure: Movies.
Of course, as Captain America, Steve first had to sit through countless debriefings and interviews with the media, and a few dozen meet-and-greet with New Yorkers who’d basically lost everything in the attack.
Steve didn’t begrudge them his time or his best efforts. He knew from experience that people needed to see life would go on, even after an alien attack. And he took pride in the fact that New Yorkers quickly adjusted to life post-Loki with their usual fuck-you-we’ve-seen-worse attitude.
So, he’d pop up all over midtown and beyond, even once in Flushing, fully dressed for the dog-and-pony show, and helped people clean up, brush up, and get on with their lives.
Almost a month had passed before Steve found himself free for an entire afternoon, sitting in the only common room still functioning in Stark Tower.
The cheerful greeting of “Hey handsome!” emanated from the kitchen that was located next to the expansive entertainment room.
Steve smiled at Darcy who was juggling a huge bowl of popcorn and a liter of Coke. Steve wrinkled his nose in taste. He hated how modern Coke tasted. It was too artificially sweet, too … cloying for him.
Darcy popped down on the sofa right next to him and handed over the popcorn. “Fury finally let you have a moment to breathe?”
“A moment I fully tend to enjoy,” Steve answered empathically. “Please tell me you know how to use this,” Steve flapped his hand helplessly at the sleek entertainment unit, “because I don’t.”
“Oh yeah,” Darcy said. “I was planning to watch the Lord of the Rings trilogy.”
“Is it good?”
“It’s awesome,” Darcy said. “You’ll love it!”
Darcy was right. Steve was agog with amazement from the first shot to the end. He couldn’t believe the level of technology that went into making the films or the effort the actors put in to get their parts right.
After realizing they had completely missed dinnertime, Darcy dragged him to the kitchen on her floor and unloaded the Thai food she and Jane had ordered the previous night.
“So, that is considered a good movie?” Steve asked, eating his noodles so fast he knew Darcy was going to tell Jane about his epic caloric consumption.
“Yeah, considered one of the best,” Darcy answered. “Didn’t anyone in SHIELD tried to help you get familiar with everything?”
“They offered; I refused.” Steve shook his head in disgust. “You should’ve seen their idea of twenty-first century.”
Darcy chuckled humorlessly. “Yeah, I could imagine. If you want I could help you. We could do movie nights or study sessions or something.”
Steve gave her his best Bambi Eyes stare. One that he’d used quite often, even after he became Captain America. He’d discovered that people respond positively to beaming, innocent expectation than a swinging fist. Or a shield, even if the shield was painted in red, white, and blue.
As he expected, Darcy blushed and managed a nod.
Steve grinned. “Thanks, that’d be great!”
So, Wednesday nights, barring war, invasion, or terrorist attack, became Movie Night for him and Darcy. It didn’t take long for rest of the Avengers to get kitted to this plan, including Tony. So, instead of Steve enjoying Darcy’s amusing prattle, he also had to stomach Clint’s unending commentary, Natasha’s piercing if also sarcastic insights, Bruce’s put-upon sighs, and Tony’s constant chatter about anything and everything related to a topic not being featured in the movie.
And now that Steve thought about it: It was all Tony’s fault that Movie Night ended up as gore fests.
“I hate dramas,” Clint said as he perused the DVD selection on screen courtesy of Jarvis.
“You hate movies,” Natasha shot back. “You think they’re never as interesting as real life.”
“They aren’t!” Clint argued. “And why the hell would I want to watch people being people on the big screen? I could do that with my scope.”
“Because the rest of us aren’t comfortable with being a voyeur,” Bruce said, not bothering to look up from the science journal he was reading. “By the way, I really hope you’re not practicing that habit any more, especially since you’re now officially an Avenger.”
Clint rolled his eyes. “Look, all I’m saying is I hate dramas.”
“How about an action film?” Steve suggested, trying to stave off a fight between Clint and everyone else.
Clint must have realized how stubborn he was being and shrugged. Steve wasn’t at all offended by Clint’s attitude. He knew the marksman was still coming down from the fact that Loki had his fingers in his brain and played him like a marionette.
“There’s Saving Private Ryan,” Clint suggested. “That … ouch!”
Natasha had surreptitiously elbowed him. Clint immediately realized her reasons and shut his mouth.
Steve narrowed his eyes when he saw Tony and Pepper exchange slight glances. “It’s a war movie, isn’t it?” he asked flatly.
“One of the best, I think,” Tony answered too casually. “But it’s damn long. I got an idea: how about Alien?”
The chorus of ‘yes’ that echoed in the room told Steve this movie was a good choice.
When that disgusting worm/lobster abomination burst out of the poor man’s chest and scrambled across the dining room table, Steve was grateful that Loki attacked the way he did. He much preferred an all-out combat to being turned into a human incubator.
“Oh, that was disgusting,” Pepper whispered.
Tony frowned at her. “You saw this before, right”
Pepper nodded. “Yes, but it’s still disgusting.”
“That’s why it’s a classic,” Clint muttered through a mouthful of popcorn.
Steve wondered how Hawkeye could possibly continue eating after seeing the gut-churning scene.
Darcy elbowed him. “Pay attention,” she whispered. “It gets better.”
Thirty minutes later Steve wondered what Darcy’s definition of ‘better’ was. And what happened in Ridley’s Scott’s childhood to explain the horror that was gleefully eviscerating human beings on screen.
“Where is she?” Clint asked harshly as soon as Steve ended the call. “Did they find her?”
Steve nodded slowly. He needed to buy time to phrase his answer, because if he said one wrong word - Clint would rain down hell on the drug cartel that managed to capture Natasha.
“She’s alive,” Steve finally answered. “They found her … in a trash compactor.”
Clint shook his head slightly as if to get rid of the image in his head. “What?”
“They thought she was dead and threw her into a dump truck.” Steve took a deep breath because he needed to control his own rage. “It should have killed her but didn’t. She’s in a SHIELD facility in Utah. They can’t move her, yet.”
Clint looked down at his bare hands. “Can we see her?”
“Yes, definitely.” Steve placed a hand on Clint’s shoulder. “And after that, we should find the people who did this.”
Clint closed his eyes and gave a single nod. “Yeah, we should.”
“If they were curious about us,” Bruce added. “Might as well give them what they asked for.”
Everyone in the room looked at the doctor in shock. Of all people Steve thought, Dr. Banner seemed the least bloodthirsty.
But then Banner had lost everything, hadn’t he? Like Steve, once upon a time Bruce had a great career, had fallen in love with a woman way out of his league, and a bright future. Until one accident took all that away and turned him into nothing more than a hunted animal.
Steve and Bruce looked at each other and there was a moment of perfect unity: two men who had lost everyone they cared about and did not plan to lose another.
“So, Stark, you think you could track down the gentlemen responsible?” Steve asked politely. “Because I would sure hate to knock on the wrong door.”
“Give me a day,” Tony answered. He turned to Clint. “I got the Quinjet ready. Go. Tell us how she is.”
Steve accompanied Clint, not because he thought the marksman would go rogue, but because he was their captain, and a leader never lets his people suffer alone.
Clint remained silent throughout the flight, which worried everyone save Steve. He knew it was one born of fear and not rage. At least until they saw Natasha.
To Steve’s shock Natasha was conscious even though her entire left side was encased in plaster. She studied them with her one good eye.
“I’m choosing for next movie night,” she managed to rattle out. “And it’s going to be Hitchcock.”
Clint’s eyes went glassy but he didn’t cry. “You know I never saw Psycho.”
“That’s because you have no taste,” was the dry reply.
Steve left the room without speaking. Natasha was alive; she saw they were alive. And she saw the rage in their eyes. She knew enough to get the rest she needed.
Steve waited outside the room, and it was only few minutes before Clint joined him.
“She’s going to recover,” Clint whispered. “The docs are amazed she could breathe on her own.”
“But we’re not.”
Clint actually managed to smile at Steve’s quip. “Tony was right. They wanted intel on us."
"I didn't doubt him for a second."
"So, we’re really doing this?”
“A group of drug dealers decided that they could use us as their lackeys if they knew our weaknesses. I think they deserve to be told otherwise.”
“I never thought you’d be the vengeful type,” Clint said in puzzlement.
“People seem to think I’m this Apple Pie Guy, and in some ways I am, especially if you consider people’s ideas of acceptable behavior in the twenty-first century. But I was and still am a soldier. Before that: a punk kid from Brooklyn.
“And we don’t take kindly to assholes fucking with our friends.”
“Amen.”
Steve hesitated then quietly added, “Especially if that friend’s a dame.”
“I heard that,” Natasha chimed in weakly.
Both Clint and Steve chuckled all the way the elevator.
Steve looked at Bruce with undisguised admiration. “I never knew … I mean you told us about the bullet … but you…”
“Ate a hand grenade,” Tony interrupted, his voice light with awe.
Bruce winced and thumped his chest as if he had heartburn. “I didn’t. The Other Guy did.”
“And then spat it out like it was gum,” Clint added. “Doc, that was awesome.”
Bruce gave a small nod of acceptance for the compliment. “Thanks, I think.” He took a deep breath and asked, “So…”
“There’s a crater,” Tony answered. “And pretty much nothing else.”
Bruce closed his eyes. “They got the message, then?”
“I don’t think there’s much in the way of ‘they’ left, actually,” Steve answered. “But, if there are any survivors: then, yes. They’ll think twice before crossing us again.”
“Or think they could afford our services,” Tony said. He sniffed a little. “You should’ve seen their trashy pool. Thank God Pepper never saw the thing. She’d have blown it up just on principle alone!”
“Hey, I liked that pool,” Clint protested. “That see-through thing was cool.”
“I rest my case,” Tony stated flatly and rolled his eyes.
Steve barely managed to hide his smile. He would never say it out loud but he agreed with Clint. A see-through pool? Very interesting, especially if someone built like Darcy was in it.
Steve studiously ignored Tony’s curious looks as he battled down the healthy blush slowly trampling its way down his face.
“So, Psycho?” Tony grumbled as he took his place next to Pepper. “We’re seriously going to watch this?”
Pepper gave him a sidelong glance as she took her beer out of his grasp.
“Yes, we are,” Bruce said, his tone a gentle but firm warning.
Tony grumbled out, “Has anyone not seen this movie?”
All hands went up save for Tony’s. He blinked in surprise. “Really?”
“Believe it or not, yes,” Clint answered. “So, shut up.”
Darcy agreed by tossing handful of popcorn towards Tony. Somehow, she miraculously missed Pepper altogether and managed to nail her target right on his face. Clint gave her a thumbs up for approval while Natasha presented a ghost of a smile.
Fairly warned, Tony sank back into Pepper’s embrace.
Steve leaned slightly towards Darcy. “So, Alfred Hitchcock?”
Darcy nodded. “He made a lot of awesome movies but this one’s my favorite.”
“Good enough for me.” Steve reached over and grabbed a handful of popcorn from her bowl. He was prepping his own before he discovered Darcy had come with her special blend of ‘cheddar cheese and spicy chile’ popcorn. He’d quietly dumped his into a plastic bag and put it in a cupboard without her noticing.
For once no one said a word throughout the movie, and there were moments when Steve wished someone would make a crack and break the steady climb of tension and disbelief. He looked around when the movie became too intense and found Thor scrunched deep into the couch, his lips peeled back and his eyes wide in horror. Jane, for once, was playing the protector and had her arms slung around his massive chest, shielding him from the nightmare unfolding on the screen.
The room remained uncomfortably silent after the lights came on.
“You know, I don’t think I ever saw the ending,” Tony said slowly. “And now that I did, I sincerely doubt I’ll be able to sleep tonight.”
Pepper grabbed his elbow and said, “But you will try. Right now, in fact.”
The two bickered amiably as they left.
Bruce stood up, stretched, and then sighed. “So much for me sleeping,” he said. “The last thing I need is to dream about that.”
Steve frowned. “Do you transform if you have a really bad nightmare?”
Bruce shook his head. “No, thank God.” He gave a small wave of farewell and wandered off.
Darcy shook her head. “Every time I see him I want to feed him … and maybe iron his shirt.”
Steve grinned a little. “That sounds rather motherly.”
“Hey, do you feel that way when you see me?” Clint asked.
Darcy took one look at his faded jeans, white t-shirt that’s seen better years, and bare feet. “Not in the least.”
Natasha rolled her eyes when Clint scowled in mock anger. She then hit him on the shins with her crutches. They exchanged a single look, stood up in unison, and even though Natasha’s left leg was immobilized, still managed to walk in perfect synchronicity.
“I don’t know if they are or if they aren’t,” Darcy whispered. “And what’s even weirder is that I don’t think sex matters to them when it comes to each other.”
“Don’t worry about the Midwich Cuckoos,” Steve said. “They were like that before the Avengers, and will be like that long after we’re done.”
Darcy gave a dazzling smile. “You’ve been reading my recommendations,” she said, elbowing him. “Like them?”
“I like science fiction best,” Steve confessed. “I know I’m suppose to like non-fiction more but I just can’t stomach some of the things that happened after the crash.”
Darcy gave a sympathetic look. “Don’t sweat it. Books were meant to be enjoyed, not slogged through.”
“Thank you.” Steve pointed at the obnoxiously big television. “Do you know what’s on next for movie night?”
“It’s Tony’s turn, and I think we’re going to continue with the horror theme.” She saw the look on his face. “It’s the only thing we can all agree on.”
Steve gave a tired nod. “There is that.”
Before he could say anything else Darcy leaned over and gave a kiss on his cheek. “Don’t worry. Tony said it’s a classic.”
With that she left him sitting by himself, bemused and more than a little pleased.
“It got out of the containment unit…”
“Wait a minute, did Bruce Hulk out?” Clint asked.
“No, no, it’s just one of our experiments…” Tony started to explain.
Steve’s eyebrows rose. “Your experiment escaped containment and that in it of itself was enough for Jarvis to trigger the alarms?”
“What the hell are you guys doing in there?” Clint asked, craning his neck to see around Tony who was blocking the doorway to the lab.
Tony palmed Clint’s face and shoved him back. “We’ve…”
Bruce stumbled out of the smoky room, his white coat covered in blue goo and his glasses dangling by one ear. “It’s asleep…” He looked at Steve and Clint. “Oh hey.”
“So, is this something we need to worry?” Steve asked as Bruce hastily adjusted his glasses. “Or do I need to call Pepper?”
Tony narrowed his eyes. “Now there’s no need for that.”
“That’s not what you said when you found out she was having dinner with an old flame,” Clint said impishly. “In fact…”
“Mr. Penderghast is one of three Senators’ aides Pepper is meeting today,” Tony said stiffly. “And she’s only having a drink with the ass.”
Bruce grabbed Tony by the elbow. “I think we’re going to have to skip movie night. There’s…” he looked back at the white smoke slowly drifting out, “a lot to clean.”
He didn’t give anyone a chance to speak and dragged Tony back into the lab. Steve heard them coughing before the locks engaged.
Steve gave a Bruce-like sigh and looked up at the ceiling. “Is this something I should worry about, Jarvis?”
“I believe the situation is being handled now, Captain,” Jarvis said diplomatically. “However, should Mr. Stark and Dr. Banner once again lose … control of the situation, I will alert you immediately.”
“Thank you, Jarvis.”
“Jarvis, what in hell are they doing in the lab?” Clint asked.
“It’s for Science!” Jarvis said, accurately mimicking Tony’s heavily caffeine-infused enthusiasm.
Clint barked out a laugh before directing Steve towards the elevator. “Too bad, because Tony chose a good one.”
“Is it?” Steve asked hesitantly. “I only ask because Tony’s idea of…”
As if on cue, AC/DC started blasting out of the lab which still had tendrils of smoke wreathing its door.
“Yeah, it is,” Clint said confidently.
Steve should’ve known by Natasha’s deliberate absence that something was off. But his thought process was derailed when Darcy joined them wearing two layers of tank top and pajama pants made out of fleece.
It was amazing how she managed to look sexy and comforting simultaneously.
She took one look at the screen and said, “Oh, this is going to be awesome!”
Steve already thought it was ‘awesome’ when she plopped down next to him and handed over a bag of Doritos and liter bottle of ginger ale.
Twenty minutes into the movie Steve regretted he ate anything for the entire day. And by the time the movie ended he sincerely doubted he’d be able to eat breakfast the next morning, super soldier metabolism or not.
He looked at the DVD cover and kicked himself for not checking it out earlier.
The title, Texas Chainsaw Massacre, should’ve been enough of a warning. Steve blew out a frustrated breath and massaged his abdomen, trying to ease his queasy stomach.
“Tony was fucking with me, wasn’t he?” Steve finally asked Clint.
“Yeah, he was.”
Before Steve could swear properly Darcy returned from the kitchen with a tray of pizza.
“Hungry?” she asked. “I found this in the fridge. There are two slices of sausage and the rest is vegetarian.”
Steve shook his head and beat a hasty farewell before he upchucked all over the pristine white carpet.
Part II
Rating: R for language and violence
Characters/Pairings: Darcy/Steve
Warnings Completely based on the movies Avengers and Thor.
Summary: Steve finally met someone who didn't treat him like a science experiment gone right. In fact, Darcy turned out to be the brightest thing in a world where he no longer fit. So, when she suggested Movie Night as a way for him to get acclimated to his new life, Steve was all for it. Then, Tony stepped in.
Disclaimer: So much fiction, Heimdall could see it!
Steve Rogers, not Captain America, loved the movies. Loved them as a kid; loved the fact that his mother didn’t frown with worry when he and Bucky set off all the way to Manhattan to catch Newsreels followed by a cowboy flick in the snazziest theater known to man.
He loved the anonymity of the dark, where a sick, pasty, wheezy kid could sit surrounded by adults and not looked on with pity or distaste.
That little bit of pleasure ended with the birth of Captain America, especially since he starred in the newsreels more often than not. So, Steve assiduously avoided the theater. But whenever one crossed his path, he would sadly look upon the garish lights, the dramatic movie posters, missing his sickly childhood: something Steve never thought he’d do.
Then hell froze over and he ended up sleeping through everything that mattered to him, and woke up to a time where he was, at best, a sweet anachronism.
Steve retreated from this garish, new world, not interested in anything it had to offer, only to have his self-imposed isolation ended violently with Loki’s assault on humanity.
After the exhausting and emotionally tumultuous confrontation with Thor’s crazy not-brother, Steve instinctively sought out the best way to shed some of the pressure: Movies.
Of course, as Captain America, Steve first had to sit through countless debriefings and interviews with the media, and a few dozen meet-and-greet with New Yorkers who’d basically lost everything in the attack.
Steve didn’t begrudge them his time or his best efforts. He knew from experience that people needed to see life would go on, even after an alien attack. And he took pride in the fact that New Yorkers quickly adjusted to life post-Loki with their usual fuck-you-we’ve-seen-worse attitude.
So, he’d pop up all over midtown and beyond, even once in Flushing, fully dressed for the dog-and-pony show, and helped people clean up, brush up, and get on with their lives.
Almost a month had passed before Steve found himself free for an entire afternoon, sitting in the only common room still functioning in Stark Tower.
The cheerful greeting of “Hey handsome!” emanated from the kitchen that was located next to the expansive entertainment room.
Steve smiled at Darcy who was juggling a huge bowl of popcorn and a liter of Coke. Steve wrinkled his nose in taste. He hated how modern Coke tasted. It was too artificially sweet, too … cloying for him.
Darcy popped down on the sofa right next to him and handed over the popcorn. “Fury finally let you have a moment to breathe?”
“A moment I fully tend to enjoy,” Steve answered empathically. “Please tell me you know how to use this,” Steve flapped his hand helplessly at the sleek entertainment unit, “because I don’t.”
“Oh yeah,” Darcy said. “I was planning to watch the Lord of the Rings trilogy.”
“Is it good?”
“It’s awesome,” Darcy said. “You’ll love it!”
Darcy was right. Steve was agog with amazement from the first shot to the end. He couldn’t believe the level of technology that went into making the films or the effort the actors put in to get their parts right.
After realizing they had completely missed dinnertime, Darcy dragged him to the kitchen on her floor and unloaded the Thai food she and Jane had ordered the previous night.
“So, that is considered a good movie?” Steve asked, eating his noodles so fast he knew Darcy was going to tell Jane about his epic caloric consumption.
“Yeah, considered one of the best,” Darcy answered. “Didn’t anyone in SHIELD tried to help you get familiar with everything?”
“They offered; I refused.” Steve shook his head in disgust. “You should’ve seen their idea of twenty-first century.”
Darcy chuckled humorlessly. “Yeah, I could imagine. If you want I could help you. We could do movie nights or study sessions or something.”
Steve gave her his best Bambi Eyes stare. One that he’d used quite often, even after he became Captain America. He’d discovered that people respond positively to beaming, innocent expectation than a swinging fist. Or a shield, even if the shield was painted in red, white, and blue.
As he expected, Darcy blushed and managed a nod.
Steve grinned. “Thanks, that’d be great!”
So, Wednesday nights, barring war, invasion, or terrorist attack, became Movie Night for him and Darcy. It didn’t take long for rest of the Avengers to get kitted to this plan, including Tony. So, instead of Steve enjoying Darcy’s amusing prattle, he also had to stomach Clint’s unending commentary, Natasha’s piercing if also sarcastic insights, Bruce’s put-upon sighs, and Tony’s constant chatter about anything and everything related to a topic not being featured in the movie.
And now that Steve thought about it: It was all Tony’s fault that Movie Night ended up as gore fests.
“I hate dramas,” Clint said as he perused the DVD selection on screen courtesy of Jarvis.
“You hate movies,” Natasha shot back. “You think they’re never as interesting as real life.”
“They aren’t!” Clint argued. “And why the hell would I want to watch people being people on the big screen? I could do that with my scope.”
“Because the rest of us aren’t comfortable with being a voyeur,” Bruce said, not bothering to look up from the science journal he was reading. “By the way, I really hope you’re not practicing that habit any more, especially since you’re now officially an Avenger.”
Clint rolled his eyes. “Look, all I’m saying is I hate dramas.”
“How about an action film?” Steve suggested, trying to stave off a fight between Clint and everyone else.
Clint must have realized how stubborn he was being and shrugged. Steve wasn’t at all offended by Clint’s attitude. He knew the marksman was still coming down from the fact that Loki had his fingers in his brain and played him like a marionette.
“There’s Saving Private Ryan,” Clint suggested. “That … ouch!”
Natasha had surreptitiously elbowed him. Clint immediately realized her reasons and shut his mouth.
Steve narrowed his eyes when he saw Tony and Pepper exchange slight glances. “It’s a war movie, isn’t it?” he asked flatly.
“One of the best, I think,” Tony answered too casually. “But it’s damn long. I got an idea: how about Alien?”
The chorus of ‘yes’ that echoed in the room told Steve this movie was a good choice.
When that disgusting worm/lobster abomination burst out of the poor man’s chest and scrambled across the dining room table, Steve was grateful that Loki attacked the way he did. He much preferred an all-out combat to being turned into a human incubator.
“Oh, that was disgusting,” Pepper whispered.
Tony frowned at her. “You saw this before, right”
Pepper nodded. “Yes, but it’s still disgusting.”
“That’s why it’s a classic,” Clint muttered through a mouthful of popcorn.
Steve wondered how Hawkeye could possibly continue eating after seeing the gut-churning scene.
Darcy elbowed him. “Pay attention,” she whispered. “It gets better.”
Thirty minutes later Steve wondered what Darcy’s definition of ‘better’ was. And what happened in Ridley’s Scott’s childhood to explain the horror that was gleefully eviscerating human beings on screen.
“Where is she?” Clint asked harshly as soon as Steve ended the call. “Did they find her?”
Steve nodded slowly. He needed to buy time to phrase his answer, because if he said one wrong word - Clint would rain down hell on the drug cartel that managed to capture Natasha.
“She’s alive,” Steve finally answered. “They found her … in a trash compactor.”
Clint shook his head slightly as if to get rid of the image in his head. “What?”
“They thought she was dead and threw her into a dump truck.” Steve took a deep breath because he needed to control his own rage. “It should have killed her but didn’t. She’s in a SHIELD facility in Utah. They can’t move her, yet.”
Clint looked down at his bare hands. “Can we see her?”
“Yes, definitely.” Steve placed a hand on Clint’s shoulder. “And after that, we should find the people who did this.”
Clint closed his eyes and gave a single nod. “Yeah, we should.”
“If they were curious about us,” Bruce added. “Might as well give them what they asked for.”
Everyone in the room looked at the doctor in shock. Of all people Steve thought, Dr. Banner seemed the least bloodthirsty.
But then Banner had lost everything, hadn’t he? Like Steve, once upon a time Bruce had a great career, had fallen in love with a woman way out of his league, and a bright future. Until one accident took all that away and turned him into nothing more than a hunted animal.
Steve and Bruce looked at each other and there was a moment of perfect unity: two men who had lost everyone they cared about and did not plan to lose another.
“So, Stark, you think you could track down the gentlemen responsible?” Steve asked politely. “Because I would sure hate to knock on the wrong door.”
“Give me a day,” Tony answered. He turned to Clint. “I got the Quinjet ready. Go. Tell us how she is.”
Steve accompanied Clint, not because he thought the marksman would go rogue, but because he was their captain, and a leader never lets his people suffer alone.
Clint remained silent throughout the flight, which worried everyone save Steve. He knew it was one born of fear and not rage. At least until they saw Natasha.
To Steve’s shock Natasha was conscious even though her entire left side was encased in plaster. She studied them with her one good eye.
“I’m choosing for next movie night,” she managed to rattle out. “And it’s going to be Hitchcock.”
Clint’s eyes went glassy but he didn’t cry. “You know I never saw Psycho.”
“That’s because you have no taste,” was the dry reply.
Steve left the room without speaking. Natasha was alive; she saw they were alive. And she saw the rage in their eyes. She knew enough to get the rest she needed.
Steve waited outside the room, and it was only few minutes before Clint joined him.
“She’s going to recover,” Clint whispered. “The docs are amazed she could breathe on her own.”
“But we’re not.”
Clint actually managed to smile at Steve’s quip. “Tony was right. They wanted intel on us."
"I didn't doubt him for a second."
"So, we’re really doing this?”
“A group of drug dealers decided that they could use us as their lackeys if they knew our weaknesses. I think they deserve to be told otherwise.”
“I never thought you’d be the vengeful type,” Clint said in puzzlement.
“People seem to think I’m this Apple Pie Guy, and in some ways I am, especially if you consider people’s ideas of acceptable behavior in the twenty-first century. But I was and still am a soldier. Before that: a punk kid from Brooklyn.
“And we don’t take kindly to assholes fucking with our friends.”
“Amen.”
Steve hesitated then quietly added, “Especially if that friend’s a dame.”
“I heard that,” Natasha chimed in weakly.
Both Clint and Steve chuckled all the way the elevator.
Steve looked at Bruce with undisguised admiration. “I never knew … I mean you told us about the bullet … but you…”
“Ate a hand grenade,” Tony interrupted, his voice light with awe.
Bruce winced and thumped his chest as if he had heartburn. “I didn’t. The Other Guy did.”
“And then spat it out like it was gum,” Clint added. “Doc, that was awesome.”
Bruce gave a small nod of acceptance for the compliment. “Thanks, I think.” He took a deep breath and asked, “So…”
“There’s a crater,” Tony answered. “And pretty much nothing else.”
Bruce closed his eyes. “They got the message, then?”
“I don’t think there’s much in the way of ‘they’ left, actually,” Steve answered. “But, if there are any survivors: then, yes. They’ll think twice before crossing us again.”
“Or think they could afford our services,” Tony said. He sniffed a little. “You should’ve seen their trashy pool. Thank God Pepper never saw the thing. She’d have blown it up just on principle alone!”
“Hey, I liked that pool,” Clint protested. “That see-through thing was cool.”
“I rest my case,” Tony stated flatly and rolled his eyes.
Steve barely managed to hide his smile. He would never say it out loud but he agreed with Clint. A see-through pool? Very interesting, especially if someone built like Darcy was in it.
Steve studiously ignored Tony’s curious looks as he battled down the healthy blush slowly trampling its way down his face.
“So, Psycho?” Tony grumbled as he took his place next to Pepper. “We’re seriously going to watch this?”
Pepper gave him a sidelong glance as she took her beer out of his grasp.
“Yes, we are,” Bruce said, his tone a gentle but firm warning.
Tony grumbled out, “Has anyone not seen this movie?”
All hands went up save for Tony’s. He blinked in surprise. “Really?”
“Believe it or not, yes,” Clint answered. “So, shut up.”
Darcy agreed by tossing handful of popcorn towards Tony. Somehow, she miraculously missed Pepper altogether and managed to nail her target right on his face. Clint gave her a thumbs up for approval while Natasha presented a ghost of a smile.
Fairly warned, Tony sank back into Pepper’s embrace.
Steve leaned slightly towards Darcy. “So, Alfred Hitchcock?”
Darcy nodded. “He made a lot of awesome movies but this one’s my favorite.”
“Good enough for me.” Steve reached over and grabbed a handful of popcorn from her bowl. He was prepping his own before he discovered Darcy had come with her special blend of ‘cheddar cheese and spicy chile’ popcorn. He’d quietly dumped his into a plastic bag and put it in a cupboard without her noticing.
For once no one said a word throughout the movie, and there were moments when Steve wished someone would make a crack and break the steady climb of tension and disbelief. He looked around when the movie became too intense and found Thor scrunched deep into the couch, his lips peeled back and his eyes wide in horror. Jane, for once, was playing the protector and had her arms slung around his massive chest, shielding him from the nightmare unfolding on the screen.
The room remained uncomfortably silent after the lights came on.
“You know, I don’t think I ever saw the ending,” Tony said slowly. “And now that I did, I sincerely doubt I’ll be able to sleep tonight.”
Pepper grabbed his elbow and said, “But you will try. Right now, in fact.”
The two bickered amiably as they left.
Bruce stood up, stretched, and then sighed. “So much for me sleeping,” he said. “The last thing I need is to dream about that.”
Steve frowned. “Do you transform if you have a really bad nightmare?”
Bruce shook his head. “No, thank God.” He gave a small wave of farewell and wandered off.
Darcy shook her head. “Every time I see him I want to feed him … and maybe iron his shirt.”
Steve grinned a little. “That sounds rather motherly.”
“Hey, do you feel that way when you see me?” Clint asked.
Darcy took one look at his faded jeans, white t-shirt that’s seen better years, and bare feet. “Not in the least.”
Natasha rolled her eyes when Clint scowled in mock anger. She then hit him on the shins with her crutches. They exchanged a single look, stood up in unison, and even though Natasha’s left leg was immobilized, still managed to walk in perfect synchronicity.
“I don’t know if they are or if they aren’t,” Darcy whispered. “And what’s even weirder is that I don’t think sex matters to them when it comes to each other.”
“Don’t worry about the Midwich Cuckoos,” Steve said. “They were like that before the Avengers, and will be like that long after we’re done.”
Darcy gave a dazzling smile. “You’ve been reading my recommendations,” she said, elbowing him. “Like them?”
“I like science fiction best,” Steve confessed. “I know I’m suppose to like non-fiction more but I just can’t stomach some of the things that happened after the crash.”
Darcy gave a sympathetic look. “Don’t sweat it. Books were meant to be enjoyed, not slogged through.”
“Thank you.” Steve pointed at the obnoxiously big television. “Do you know what’s on next for movie night?”
“It’s Tony’s turn, and I think we’re going to continue with the horror theme.” She saw the look on his face. “It’s the only thing we can all agree on.”
Steve gave a tired nod. “There is that.”
Before he could say anything else Darcy leaned over and gave a kiss on his cheek. “Don’t worry. Tony said it’s a classic.”
With that she left him sitting by himself, bemused and more than a little pleased.
“It got out of the containment unit…”
“Wait a minute, did Bruce Hulk out?” Clint asked.
“No, no, it’s just one of our experiments…” Tony started to explain.
Steve’s eyebrows rose. “Your experiment escaped containment and that in it of itself was enough for Jarvis to trigger the alarms?”
“What the hell are you guys doing in there?” Clint asked, craning his neck to see around Tony who was blocking the doorway to the lab.
Tony palmed Clint’s face and shoved him back. “We’ve…”
Bruce stumbled out of the smoky room, his white coat covered in blue goo and his glasses dangling by one ear. “It’s asleep…” He looked at Steve and Clint. “Oh hey.”
“So, is this something we need to worry?” Steve asked as Bruce hastily adjusted his glasses. “Or do I need to call Pepper?”
Tony narrowed his eyes. “Now there’s no need for that.”
“That’s not what you said when you found out she was having dinner with an old flame,” Clint said impishly. “In fact…”
“Mr. Penderghast is one of three Senators’ aides Pepper is meeting today,” Tony said stiffly. “And she’s only having a drink with the ass.”
Bruce grabbed Tony by the elbow. “I think we’re going to have to skip movie night. There’s…” he looked back at the white smoke slowly drifting out, “a lot to clean.”
He didn’t give anyone a chance to speak and dragged Tony back into the lab. Steve heard them coughing before the locks engaged.
Steve gave a Bruce-like sigh and looked up at the ceiling. “Is this something I should worry about, Jarvis?”
“I believe the situation is being handled now, Captain,” Jarvis said diplomatically. “However, should Mr. Stark and Dr. Banner once again lose … control of the situation, I will alert you immediately.”
“Thank you, Jarvis.”
“Jarvis, what in hell are they doing in the lab?” Clint asked.
“It’s for Science!” Jarvis said, accurately mimicking Tony’s heavily caffeine-infused enthusiasm.
Clint barked out a laugh before directing Steve towards the elevator. “Too bad, because Tony chose a good one.”
“Is it?” Steve asked hesitantly. “I only ask because Tony’s idea of…”
As if on cue, AC/DC started blasting out of the lab which still had tendrils of smoke wreathing its door.
“Yeah, it is,” Clint said confidently.
Steve should’ve known by Natasha’s deliberate absence that something was off. But his thought process was derailed when Darcy joined them wearing two layers of tank top and pajama pants made out of fleece.
It was amazing how she managed to look sexy and comforting simultaneously.
She took one look at the screen and said, “Oh, this is going to be awesome!”
Steve already thought it was ‘awesome’ when she plopped down next to him and handed over a bag of Doritos and liter bottle of ginger ale.
Twenty minutes into the movie Steve regretted he ate anything for the entire day. And by the time the movie ended he sincerely doubted he’d be able to eat breakfast the next morning, super soldier metabolism or not.
He looked at the DVD cover and kicked himself for not checking it out earlier.
The title, Texas Chainsaw Massacre, should’ve been enough of a warning. Steve blew out a frustrated breath and massaged his abdomen, trying to ease his queasy stomach.
“Tony was fucking with me, wasn’t he?” Steve finally asked Clint.
“Yeah, he was.”
Before Steve could swear properly Darcy returned from the kitchen with a tray of pizza.
“Hungry?” she asked. “I found this in the fridge. There are two slices of sausage and the rest is vegetarian.”
Steve shook his head and beat a hasty farewell before he upchucked all over the pristine white carpet.
Part II