Why Movie Night Was a Bad, Bad Idea

[frostian]

Title: Why Movie Night Was a Bad, Bad Idea, Part II
Rating: R for language and violence
Characters/Pairings: Darcy/Steve
Warnings Completely based on the movies.
Summary: Steve finally met someone who didn't treat him like a science experiment gone right. In fact, Darcy turned out to be the brightest thing in a world where he no longer fit. So, when she suggested Movie Night as a way for him to get acclimated, Steve was all for it. Then Tony stepped in.
Disclaimer: So much fiction, Heimdall could see it!



Captain America was doing just fine. Steve Rogers, on the other hand, was furious. It was Pepper’s turn for movie night, and her choices were nothing less than fantastic even if horror was still the prevailing theme. And he had it on good authority that Darcy was baking her Peanut Butter Delight cookies for the occasion.

As far as Steve was concerned, Darcy’s culinary skills were second to none. However, instead of enjoying Darcy’s cookies and her company, he was chasing Loki’s latest tirade down Madison Avenue.

When Tony’s cackling laughter echoed in his earpiece, Steve was once more tempted to tell him to shut the hell up.

“Seriously!” Clint managed to say between bouts of hilarity. “I thought your brother was locked up tight!”

“He is!” Thor answered, taking deep breaths as he ran faster. “But even the strongest prison of Asgard cannot hold the Master of Mischief for long.”

“At least his powers are dampened,” Natasha said, her voice cool and even. “It could be worse.”

Hulk’s roar told them he personally thought it was worse.

Steve could see why.

Loki had unleashed hundreds of little Hulks, approximately nine-inches tall, onto Manhattan, all perfect copies of the original. And, the damn things were naked.

Little green butts flashed along with little green dicks swinging in the breeze. Not to mention the perfect Hulk roars, all scaled down, of course, because Loki was a perfectionist.

Suddenly, the little bastards disappeared.

Steve came to a violent stop and looked around. “Tony?”

“Jarvis is telling me they’re all gone,” Tony answered. “What the ever-loving hell?”

Thor took a deep breath. “Heimdall has found Loki.”

“Does that mean he’s contained again?” Natasha asked as she joined Steve.

Thor loped up to them. “Yes.”

“Okay, you can hit me for asking this,” Tony griped as he landed next to the group. “But why in hell is he still alive?”

Thor gave a wan smile, showing he took no offense. “Mother,” was his simple answer.

Of course. Loki might be a power-hungry genocidal lunatic, but he was a power-hungry genocidal lunatic with a queen for a mother.

Hulk joined the group, sullen and as embarrassed as he could ever look.

“Hate Loki,” he muttered. He narrowed his eyes at Thor. “Smash Loki next time.”

Clint looked away, obviously fighting down laughter. Natasha gave Tony a warning look and said,

“It’s over.”

Those two words seemed to placate Hulk, and no one added anything else as they made their way to back to the Tower. Halfway through their return, Hulk began transforming back to Bruce.

Steve held up the doctor as the man stumbled his way through the entrance. He felt badly for Bruce. The transformations were never easy and it could take hours if not days for him to recover.

Of course Bruce would never inform his teammates of this salient fact. It was Tony who’d figured it out after carefully analyzing video feeds of Hulk in action and Bruce’s behavior in the aftermath.

Steve thought it a blessing when Bruce nodded off five minutes into the movie and completely missed when the horror began. He’d never considered a child’s game could be so terrifying, but Steve was pretty much scared as he could possibly be as the female protagonist in the film knocked on the wall once more, daring the ghostly children to make their presence known.

Darcy wasn’t handling the suspense any better either. She’d buried her face in Steve’s shoulder, refusing to watch any further.

Clint, for once, looked as disturbed as the rest of them felt. Even Natasha was feeling uneasy as she picked the skin on the sides of her thumbs with elegant fingers.

As the lights went on Steve heard a slight but collective sigh of relief.

“Okay,” Tony said, looking slightly dazed. “That was actually a scary movie.”

“I don’t know,” Darcy countered. “It was so damn sad.”

“It was,” Clint agreed.

“Want a round?” Natasha asked Clint.

Steve bit his tongue. Natasha was still healing, and in his opinion the last thing she needed was a sparring bout with Clint, but Steve knew better than to believe his opinion would stop the two from doing what they needed to do.

Clint’s answer was an echo of Natasha’s terse nod.

Darcy watched them as they got into the elevator. “I still can’t figure them out.”

Pepper smiled. “I think part of their act is to deliberately confuse us.”

“Oh, that’s a given,” Tony agreed. Then he gave a leer. “On the other hand, there’s nothing confusing about Pepper and me. Or what we’re about to do.”

“For Pete’s sake do it in the privacy of your bedroom,” Steve pleaded.

Pepper rolled her eyes and gave a look at Darcy that screamed, Men, what can you do?

She hooked her index finger into Tony’s shirt and led him away. “Good night, everyone!”

That woke up Bruce who staggered to a stand. “From the look on your faces I guess I should be grateful that I missed it?”

Steve shook his head. “Actually it was pretty good. Sad but … uplifting at the same time.”

Darcy nudged him. “See? You’re getting it.”

Steve rubbed the back of his neck. “Yeah, I guess I am.”

Bruce muttered something semi-intelligible and wandered off, for once going to his bedroom instead of his lab.

“If you want we could see some classics," Darcy offered.

Steve shook his head. “No, I want to understand Tony’s cultural references. Half the time I can't get what the hell he's yammering about.”

Darcy’s grin turned a little stiff. “He’s still doing it?”

Steve rolled his eyes. “All the time.”

Darcy grabbed his arms and said, “I don’t know how to tell you this, but Tony Stark? Is kind of a dick.”

“Yeah, he really, really is.” Steve huffed out a breath. “It’s amazing how big a dick he is while being nice.”

“Get some sleep,” Darcy said, patting his back. “And stop thinking about Tony’s dick.”

Steve chuckled. “That shouldn’t be a problem.”

Before he could say anything Darcy leaned over and gave a chaste kiss on the corner of his mouth.

Steve still felt the soft pressure of Darcy’s lips even as he showered and got ready for bed.

He studied the familiar spot on the ceiling before turning to the empty space to his left. Steve didn’t know if Tony automatically bought the biggest beds available, or his lewd sense of humor translated even into furniture. Whatever the reason, Steve’s bed was the biggest he’d ever had.

“California King,” Steve muttered as he studied the expansive space. “What the hell does he expect me to do in bed?”

The answer was obvious but Steve chose to ignore it altogether. He wondered for the nth time how Pepper remained sane around Tony and even managed to find it in her heart to actually love the guy.

Of course, Steve had seen such odd pairings before. For reasons the Howling Commandos never figured out, Dum Dum attracted the smart set: women who were educated to the eyebrows and planned to return to academia as soon as the War was over.

And they adored, positively fawned over Dum Dum, who treated them with surprising amount of courtesy. He was a bruiser as soon as they were out of his sight, but the moment a lady was present, Dum Dum bit his tongue and pulled out the chair for her.

Even Peggy noted this behavior, but she never did comment on it. There were many times Steve wanted to ask her, as he’d watched her conversations with Dum Dum and had seen the secretive, knowing smile on her lips.

He had the distinct feeling she knew exactly why Dum Dum behaved in this particular manner, and the reason women reacted so positively. He had also been equally sure she would never tell him. That was Peggy to the T: she held secrets close, and the secrets belonging to others even closer.

Steve curled his fingers around the empty pillow and closed his eyes. For a moment he dreamt of Peggy and that was enough for him fall into restless sleep until the alarm woke him.

As he showered, Steve pondered the fact that he didn’t feel depressed as he usually did after a night filled with dreams of people who’d all passed away while he was frozen.

Steve was never capable of fooling himself: he knew he was letting go of his grief. After he’d woken Steve had held onto his loss like a miser would with his treasure. And he’d held on with all his will because that was all he had left after a life of sickness then sacrifice.

Steve closed his eyes and forced himself to remember his schedule for the day.

Once in a while the Avengers had to deal with the press. Usually Steve would plaster his Apple Pie Smile and take one for the team. At times, though, it took more than Captain America to soothe ruffled feathers, usually because something Tony said or did.

The Avengers did not, as a rule, take this well but they took it. Once in a great while, they actually looked forward to it because Hill would oversee the interview.

Steve watched Fury's second-in-command raise an imperious eyebrow as she studied the press jammed into the conference room. “So, ladies and gentlemen, I have only one request: that none of the questions you ask will be stupid.”

Steve gave a sidelong glance at Tony and found mirth dancing wildly in his eyes.

There were immediate waves of tense whispering in the audience.

“My God, you people had to actually think about that?” Hill asked in genuine dismay as she scanned the reporters.

Flushed faces and indignant replies began rising. Tony stood up, gave a ear-piercing whistle and shouted,

“Let’s not waste any more time, shall we?”

Steve absolutely adored these interviews.

And to no one’s great surprise, save his, that evening’s movie night consisted of All the King’s Men and Network, thanks to Bruce.

Steve admitted that the movies he’d seen, even the horror ones, were far superior to those he remembered from pre-Crash days. And he was honest enough to admit nudity was a big part of his preference. Steve remembered the so-called ‘porn’ from his days as a soldier. They rarely did the job as some of the women were just hideous beyond imagining, and would actively kill any libido, even if that libido belonged to blue-balled soldiers.

Darcy bumped his shoulder with hers. “What’s going on in there?”

Steve gave his best gee-whiz smile and said, “Sex.”

Darcy rolled her eyes. “Right. So, it’s your turn for next movie night.”

Steve gave a quiet sigh of relief. “Yeah, I was thinking about that…”

The entire room was horrifyingly silent as Jarvis turned on the lights. Steve dared to take a glimpse around the room and saw uniform look of disbelief and repulsion.

Pepper had buried her face into Tony’s shoulder. “Oh my God,” she uttered. “That was … awful!”

Clint shook his head then turned to Steve. “Are you serious? You saw this as a kid?!”

Steve nodded gleefully. “Bucky found a theater that ran it for just one week. We had to sneak in, of course.”

Natasha wrinkled her nose. “I’ve heard about this film but … well, yes, it is as advertised.”

Thor took a deep breath. “That was upsetting,” he pronounced loudly.

Jane frowned. “But it was interesting.”

“Like bumping-into-Michael-Myers-in-the-bathroom interesting,” Darcy muttered through her hands, which had covered her entire face through the last ten minutes of the film.

Tony looked peeved as he studied the others. “Well, I guess Steve wins the ‘best horror show’ award.”

Steve managed not to look smug as he gave a nod of acceptance.

Darcy’s smile, on the other hand, made him feel like he’d just won an Olympic gold medal.

“So, do you want to have a movie night?” she asked conspiratorially after everyone had left.

“Um, don’t we…”

“I mean a private one,” Darcy interrupted, her smile turning positively saucy. “Just us two.”

“A date?” As soon as the words left his mouth, Steve felt stupid.

“Yes, Captain, a date.”

“Sure, how about Saturday?”

“Barring another intergalactic invasion or Tony trying to Hulk out Bruce, again. Yeah!” She gave him a kiss on the cheek and said, “I’ll look for a good one.”

“Maybe we can do dinner before?”

Darcy fluttered her lashes and put a tremulous hand on her chest. “Oh my, I got myself a real sugar daddy!”

Steve laughed as she winked at him and left.

Saturday morning Tony had woken to Jarvis frantically alerting him that Pepper had gone missing.

Somewhere between the Avengers Tower and La Guardia Airport, Pepper’s personal tracker went black.

Steve had never seen Tony so enraged. Even Thor kept his distance as Tony tried to figure out what had happened to Pepper.

It was Fury who’d discovered her whereabouts. “We think it’s Hydra,” he said. The grim line of his mouth revealing how bad he believed the situation was.

Everyone turned to Steve who was as stone-faced as the Director.

“What do they want?” Tony asked hoarsely. “Money? The suit?”

“They’re not holding her for ransom,” Fury said. “We think they want to pick her … brain apart. See what she knows.”

“And she knows a lot,” Tony whispered as he ran his hands through his hair. “About the suit, about the Avengers, about Stark Industries. There isn’t anything in my life she doesn’t know.”

“Then we find her,” Thor intoned as the skies outside darkened ominously. “Are there many?”

“No, they’re not, fortunately,” Fury answered. “In fact, they’re on their last legs. We’ve been systematically eradicating them for the last three years. I honestly thought they didn’t have enough balls to pull off something like this.”

“Well, they did,” Tony said. “Forward any intel you have to Jarvis. We’ll take it from there.”

“Stark, if they feel in any way threatened, they’ll kill her,” Fury cautioned. “You have two of my best assassins with you. It would be best if you’d let them do their job.”

With that recommendation Fury left them.

Steve took a deep breath and said, “He’s right. We go in there in force, Pepper won’t stand a chance.”

“We can…” Tony barked as he began furiously typing into his personal computer.

“Not if there’s a guard with a gun trained on her,” Clint interrupted quietly. “No one can outrun a bullet.”

Tony’s head slowly caved into his chest as his hands clenched tightly around the keyboard.

Natasha laid a firm hand on his shoulder. “Let us do what we do best. After we’ve secured Pepper, we’ll make contact.”

“The fuckers won’t know what hit them,” Clint added. “We promise.”

Tony didn’t look up. He gave a nod of acquiescence instead.

That was all Clint and Natasha needed. They quickly built a plan and then disappeared, not bothering to use any of Stark's personal cars. Two hours later the team received a single message: they'd located the building. Afterwards, there was only radio silence. As planned, the rest of the team followed the assassins and situated themselves around the building where Fury had located Pepper.

Steve was forever grateful this part of Manhattan wasn’t developed by Trump and his robber baron buddies. The streets were sparsely populated and there were solid blocks of twenty minutes or more where there wasn't anyone within spotting distance.

It was almost noon before Steve saw activity. To his shock Clint came out from the back exit holding Pepper in his arms. Natasha calmly followed. It was as if they did not fear being noticed.

“What the hell…” Bruce’s incredulous voice floated through the comm.

Iron Man landed ten feet from the group, blazingly obvious to anyone with eyesight.

“Is she…” Tony's voice faded away as he took Pepper into his arms.

Steve ran to join them. He mentally winced as he categorized Pepper’s wounds. She looked a bit like Natasha did after the trash compactor.

“It’s okay,” he heard. For a moment he thought it was Tony but the Iron Man’s face mask was still active.

“It’s all right, Tony,” Pepper whispered hoarsely as he curled protectively around her. “I’m … I’ll be fine. Nothing that Jarvis and two weeks in Bali can’t fix.”

The mask disappeared soundlessly as Tony finally faced his lover’s battered visage. Steve felt the sting of tears burn his eyes as he watched Tony bury his face into the crook of Pepper’s shoulders, still alarmingly silent.

Natasha looked at Clint. “Want to do the honors?”

Clint’s response was a broad smile. He took out what looked like a small pen and pressed the blunt end.

The result was instantaneous and concussive. The entire building erupted into a fireball. Steve watched as the flames shoot upwards and outwards before being yanked back into the burning carcass of a building.

“It’s a controlled explosion,” Natasha explained. “It will burn itself out.”

“Zero collateral property damage,” Clint added. “Very cool.”

“Did we not need information from them?” Thor asked, twirling Mjoliner absent-mindedly.

“No, we don’t,” Natasha answered succinctly.

“We downloaded everything to Jarvis before we wired the place.” Clint’s grin grew even as he gave a careless shrug.

“Do I even want to know how many Hydra agents were in there?” Steve asked dryly.

“Seven,” Natasha answered. “And only four were worthy of being called agents. The others were…” Natasha wrinkled her nose in distaste.

“They offended her sensibilities,” Clint said. “Hell, they offended me too, come to think of it.”

“Let’s get away from the burning building, shall we?” Bruce asked, nervously eyeing the warehouse.

Tony remained silent the entire time. Even in the car ride back to the Tower he was quiet. It was only when the SUV parked that Steve heard Pepper’s repeated whispers of,

“I love you, you know that, right?”

Steve could barely make his way to his room as tears blinded him. So, he nearly collided with Darcy who was waiting outside his apartment.

“Is she really okay?” Darcy was almost as pale as Pepper was. “Because Jarvis won’t say much.”

“She’s been worked over, pretty hard.”

“Oh God,” Darcy said, eyes wide with shock. “But she’ll be okay?”

“She’ll be okay,” Steve said. He closed his eyes, trying to harden himself for what he was about to say. “Look, Darcy, I think maybe we…”

“Don’t you fucking dare,” Darcy snarled. “I don’t need your self-sacrifice heroic bullshit, Steve. What I need is a boyfriend who’s going to appreciate the hundred-fifty-dollars I spent on a dress for our date, along with a pair of shoes that Pepper let me borrow.”

Steve couldn’t help but smile at her pluck. “That sounds like a very expensive dress for a movie date.”

“Movie and dinner, Steve,” Darcy reminded him before standing on her toes. She gave him a kiss. “Which we’ll go as soon as Pepper’s safe and snug.”

“Okay,” Steve said.

“The date’s still on buddy,” Darcy said firmly. “Don’t you dare chicken-shit out on me now.”

“I wouldn’t dare.” Steve drew a cross on his chest.

Darcy gave him a piercing look before saying, “All right, then. So, I’ll knock on your door as soon as I know, okay?”

This time it was Steve who leaned over to kiss her. Darcy’s smile turned beatific as she walked away, humming softly to herself.

Steve wanted to feel bitterness, to feel like he’d made a fool of himself. Instead, he felt nothing but relief. He knew he was acting like a jackass, trying to put a stop to things before they even had a chance to bloom.

Steve went to his suite and once more mentally thanked Stark for the incredible bathroom he’d outfitted every Avenger suite. Steve took a long shower and armed himself with the most comfortable sweats before stepping out of the mental cocoon he’d placed himself.

“Jarvis, do you have any updates?”

“The doctors are still assessing Miss Potts’ condition, but there seems to be no permanent damage.”

Steve heard the hesitant pause. “But she’s pretty banged up?”

“That seems to be the case,” Jarvis answered. “Mr. Stark has cancelled her schedule for the foreseeable future. And he was not in a jesting mood when he’d done so.”

“No, I can’t see Tony finding any humor in this.”

“Captain Rogers, Miss Potts wanted me to tell you, specifically, that she will recover. She knows you and the other Avengers must be concerned about her welfare.”

“Thank you, Jarvis,” Steve said hoarsely. “Could you please tell Pepper that we’re glad she’s back, and that we’ll make sure this never happens again.”

“I will, but I sincerely doubt Miss Potts need to be reassured of her safety,” Jarvis replied.

“Thanks for the vote of confidence.”

Steve laid down on his bed and let himself fall asleep. When he woke up there was a text from Darcy telling him when and where their date night would start.

He chuckled when he read what the movie would be.

Casablanca.

After that date Darcy managed to finagle herself into his schedule whenever he was free. To his surprise practically every night turned into movie night. Unless Pepper was the one picking the movie, not everybody was present. However, Steve discovered they were rarely alone, either.

Unless it was Tony’s turn. Then he and Darcy inevitably went out to eat or even go to an actual theater.

So, maybe Tony's involvement in Movie Night was not totally horrible. And Steve did get his revenge. After a year, Freaks was still considered the most horrifying choice for Movie Night, and Darcy gleefully informed him Tony had absolutely no plans to top that one. Ever.

The End

Part I

My first Avengers fic!

Most of the movies were obvious, but there are two that weren't. Pepper's choice was The Orphanage, which I highly recommend. Steve's choice was Freaks. Trust me the movie really does live up to its title!