Some one took the oxygen from my lungs. I can't seem to find the air. I feel so broken...so weak...what was I thinking? I didn't want to break up. I just wanted to him to be different. Maybe he couldn't be. I don't know. This pain sucks though. It's taking everything to not call him and tell him this is a mistake and convince him that we belong ( Read more... )

Only speak when you have something to say ( Read more... )

it's Valentine's Day. I'm not sure what that means exactly. A whole day dedicated to love? A solid 24-hours that one has to deliver the gifts one spent an excess of money on in the days prior? To me. It's just a day. A day that I should be spending with the one who "loves" me. He let me down. But what did I want him to do? Cancel his entire day of ( Read more... )

I want to be lost. I want to be lost in his arms, his words, his actions, and his heart. I want to be so lost I can't tell where he ends and I begin. I feel him all the time. In my stomach, I haven't eaten in 3 days, you'd think I would have an appetitite, but no, I do not. I love the way he kisses me goodbye on the cheek. I love when he changes ( Read more... )

I feel like a disaster...in the midst of the whirl-wind my life is proving to be...I find beauty. Beauty in the breaking. There is clutter in my room, in my space...I step over it failing to address it...I acknowledge it's there but the time isn't right to clear the path. I just tip-toe and shuffle around it. There is no time. No time to address ( Read more... )

When I was a little girl I would begin to get nervous around 10 o'clock that's when grandpa started getting tired and grandma had already gone to bed...10 o'clock...I could feel my grandfathers' household really start to shut down...what once felt like a place so alive and busy now seemed was at rest for the night. My mother hadn't arrived to pick ( Read more... )

I can't explain this feeling all too well...for it's one I haven't felt in quite sometime...I don't know if it's the apprehension rising in me or if it's genuine feeling. I can't loose my head in the next week...I have to focus on the wedding...not on me. I like him...I can't help it. I want my dad...to see me happy. And this guy makes me smile. a ( Read more... )

Ok. Alright, so get ready for some ramblings because my mind is going crazy...you know when you break up with someone and you hate them, only you don't really hate them...you really love them and you're mad yourself that you can still love them eventhough, they don't want to be with you, so it comes out that you hate them...that's kind the way I ( Read more... )

It's like treading water. You don't go anywhere. You can feel your body moving trying to propel youself forward, but you don't move. You can hear the water splashing around you...you can see it moving but you don't. You exhaust yourself by trying to advance and you get nowhere. It's a lot like a fruitless relationship or friendship that you invest ( Read more... )

I feel like a closed book- nothing is coming in and nothing is going out...I am leather bound and worn, and you'd think I would be cold but I radiate heat. I give off a warmth and I just sit on the bookshelf until someone comes to try to open me up, and figure out what I am about. It's nerve racking I just sit there...no one seems to see what I ( Read more... )