Yah..  i'm tired in every way possible.  And im convinced the world hates me today.. i was with Nick in albany and so of course i was parallel parked on a side street.. so when we went to leave.. i couldnt fucking go anywhere cuz my wheels were skidding in place on ice.  So that was a nice 30 min to fucking smash the ice around my tires.. at least ( Read more... )

my dog is so funny.. i lock him out of my room and he goes to my other door and since its broken he just pushes it open and walks right in.. nosey nosey nosey.

I had to go the heart doctor again yesterday.. cuz of all the stuff thats been going on ..so i guess according to my charts from like 4 years ago i basically have the same thing wrong with ( Read more... )

There is absolutely nothing to say except i'm lost without his advice and thoughts.. I don't know what i'm doing anymore.  I just want to step out of my body and beat the shit out of myself for doing this.  For not fucking knowing anything and for treating people like shit.  I can't take all this pain from people anymore.. the missing, the losing, ( Read more... )

I don't know why i expect people to hang on to me when i get like this... Because it never works that way.  How can i be # 1 in anything when i feel like i'm #973243.. or worse off.. #2?  And that feeling has been going on now for about a month.. and i'm just tired of feeling it.  I have so much on my plate right now.. emotional wise.. it just ( Read more... )

Do you ever just get that feeling where you don't want to talk to anybody? You don’t want to smile, and you don't want to fake being happy. But at the same time, you don't know exactly what is wrong either. There isn't a way to explain it to someone who doesn't already understand. If you could want anything in the world it would be to be alone. ( Read more... )

I bought this black hard bound notebook with pages in the order of the rainbow... and i cant stop writing in it.  I've only had it since like thursday and i already have 10 pgs back and front.. I think it's easier to write in it..then it is in here.. i dunno.  i'd like to say i don't care what other people think, but we all do.. so i don't want to ( Read more... )

So.. my first week of school went ok.  I was much more relaxed about starting again.. because i know what to do and where to go now.  And all my teachers seem to be really sweet.. so thats good.  I'm still not talking to tom.. i guess its been a week tomorrow.. I would love to say i have no insterest in speaking with him again.. but i can't so i'm ( Read more... )

Things are not much better.. in any catigory of my life.  I feel like my heart just aches from emotions.. i freaking miss my brother so much and every time i think about it makes me want cry.  And the one key person in my life whos been there constantly for the past 2 years has just kinda pushed my feelings aside.  I mean, i know hes manipulative ( Read more... )

I feel so sick right now.. my hearts going at 137 beats per min and i feel like i'm going to throw up.  I know i should lower my dosage like she said, but I don't want to move backwards.. and somehow i hope that all this heart crap will kill me.. lol not that it could.. because what happens to me doesnt do damage.

I never thought the day would ( Read more... )

I never asked for answer Only a fair shot At what I thought was expected From the heart Yeah you told me you had one Do you remember that And you told me that I was worth it Was it easy to forget that 'Cause I don't forget anything 'N it scares me half to death I remember the color of the doorknob That you used Baby when you left When you left You ( Read more... )