http://www.ecstasy.org/experiences/trip98.html

i realized yesterday i signed a four year contract to a deathbed. hospital sheets. no hair. a great attempt by the nurses to recreate me into something perfect, something alive. only thing i can hope out of it, is that at 'graduation' ill be seeing it as a funeral of the person they helped out. and keep on beeing me. i just really realized it all, ( Read more... )

and thats the problem. fucking who should be a man at eighteen? especially a kid who reached forty before the second grade. its not right for a child to have to look at the kids in his classroom with the same eyes the teacher does. i cant ever go back on it, and i honestly wouldnt care to. so my parents & soberfriends always ask me: whyddya do ( Read more... )

fuck.

im tired as hell already.

existence gets boring with no sugar or spice.

just packets of cancer that claim to make everything nice.

am i truly expected to live this?

iish.

this weekend just like the ones before has been educational. learning friends, seeing enemies, making a new train of thought. i am clear now. i was scared id never be able to think straight again. moreso my friend was scared for me, i was fantastic in insanity. taxi driver was lucky13 aswell. and a shorty dancer had 13 slapped on her back. many a ( Read more... )

walking home from a 6teenth bday rave...i pull two dollars outofmypockett. i stop at the gastation next to my house... 12:22am (closes at 12) but its still open... i go in ask why he says cause tonights the first night we started staying open till 1am (13:00 military time). i say gimme a two dollar ticket, he does. i scratch...i win. 15 dollars ( Read more... )

(X) Snuck out of the house ( Read more... )

all of newengland is so much goddamn nicer than texas. well, from the pointofview of a 50+ yr old it is. i think ill move up here for the later yrs of my life. but, im doin fine now in tx with friends, Bowie, and 18+ clubs. boston its 21...and thats a real shitty thing for an 18yrold kid. ive had so many opportunities to just sit and think and ( Read more... )

Your Birthdate: March 19

Your birth on the 19th day of the month adds a tone of independence and extra energy to your life path ( Read more... )

ive got this mad idea to stop feeling like i must make music right now. an incineration of my thoughts and every minute the sound just drops to the storm outside. maybe its the freedom i need. somehow, ill relate to someone. every since i began ive felt a duty to my friends or to my self that i have to keep on making new music. learning new things ( Read more... )