I am so pissed off with myself, i am constantly filled with thoughts and images of the perfect me...both mentally and physically, i strive everyday to become this tanned, toned beautiful goddess...today i had a  mini epiphany.....WHO AM I DOING THIS FOR???  I have a family who love me...i recently told my mum about my eating and she completely ( Read more... )

Why am i so selfish, my man's best friends brother has died and he's gone to stay with him, all i want is him back with me.
Why am i selfish?  What's wrong with me?

i am pleased to say that my self-control has increased MASSIVELY since i started my positive thinking, i have stopped snacking and bingeing at work and at home, i look forward to my lunch and dinner - granted its a piece of meat with some green vegetables, but i feel in control.  I like this feeling and i welcome it ( Read more... )

Bollocks....
I binged on a very small amount of pasta leftover from last night and then proceeded to purge it inot da potty!
*Bounces head off keyboard several times*
But i don't feel bad or guilty cos thats the first purge since Sat.
Nuff
x 

AND ALSO BECAUSE I FEEL GOOD ABOUT HOW MUCH I'VE EATEN TODAY....
1 x apple = 60
1 x banana = 150
1 x weetabix with milk = 70
3 x cappuccino = 180
1 x apple = 70
1 x stick of kit kat = 40
2 x weetabix = 130
small piece of chicken = 50
GRAND TOTAL SO FAR THIS FINE FUCKING DAY......750 CALORIES

TOTAL BURNT TODAY....
Exercise - approx 600
BMR - 1725

THANK YOU PAUL!!!!!!!
My friend sent me a case study/workbook that he designed about goal setting, positive mental attitude, relaxation etc.
IT'S A FUCKING GODSEND!!! The most ironic part is that he doesn't, nor will he ever, realise how much so.  He sent it to me on the premise that the relaxation part would help me sleep better without the aid of ( Read more... )

I lasted 5 days b/p free but i purged on Friday night after i got back from my friends house.  I then purged again yesterday, twice.
But today i feel strong again so i'll try and stave off the urge if i can.  My friend sent me a document he created about positive mental thinking, i've been putting it into action today, trying to visualise stopping ( Read more... )

Day 5 - b/p free, dare i hope??!!!
Is the end of the cycle in sight or can i maintain this abstinance?????
I am feeling positive, i had forgotten how much my mood lifts when i am free of the cursed b/ping, i've not eaten much today either so, dam it, i'm gonna list, just for my own benefit really...
1 x banana....150
1 x coffee....30
1 x weetabix & ( Read more... )

So i am fast approaching the end of Day 4. b/p free.  Please please let me have broken the cycle and i can be free for whatever time i am allowed.
Yesterday was tough, i felt especially down and on the verge of tears most of the day.  i hate feeling like this because i truly feel like i have no right to feel like this, other people suffer far worse ( Read more... )

This saturday was the first time in about 3 months that i had some "eggs", if anyone is unsure what i mean by that term then please just comment and i'll explain.
I hardly ate anything on Saturday as i was excited about going out Sat night, was quite hungry until boshed the first one and then bye, bye hunger
Hello ultimate leathered!
It was strange ( Read more... )