Cast Away

[futilitarian_]

So I've been pretty sick as of late and I decided to watch some movies to pass the time. I always remembered people having very heated discussions about the Tom Hanks epic, Castaway. Since I hadn't yet seen the movie, I figured now is as good a time as ever to watch it, right? Right. As you probably have gathered by now, it's a pretty mediocre

Comments

[starlachina]

that movie sucked ass.

and the volleyball? wilson? what the fuck.

[nofxhoar]

How did I know masturbation was going to be your time-passing activity?

[futilitarian_]

Ok don't pin that shit on me. If any guy were stranded on a desert island for years every last one of them would wank their wee-wee all day long. What else is pleasurable about being trapped on an island with a volleyball and a pair of ice skates?

[hypokineticman]

so true.
eat, sleep, wank
that would be it.

[nofxhoar]

Hey, I never said that you were unique in that trait, I just figured it was coming up next (hahaha)

[captainhaddock]

Yea, seriously, never once did he do that. I am left to assume that Tom Hanks is in fact a eunuch.

[futilitarian_]

He could have at least role played with coconuts if he really wanted to but there was absolutely no sexual content whatsoever at any point. I saw a special on the History Channel about an English captain who was mutinied and stranded on an island. He fucked goats when he was there. I'm not making this up. Isolation makes people stick their dicks in weird places. Therefore, this movie is not an accurate portrayal of what really would happen in such a situation.

[thegodofwar]

They tried, they really did, they were like "let's give him an alternate character in the form of a ball, we need something that is along the same lines as Tom, but slightly less likeable and with less personality."

Sadly, they failed.

[futilitarian_]

Haha, I'm glad I added you.

[sathethert]

There are still thousands upon thousands of uninhabited islands and landforms. The problem is people make shitty movies revolving around them (Castaway, The Beach).

I actually like the movie up until the point at which Hanks survived the crash. It all went downhill from there. What does it say about his career when he gets out-shined by a half deflated volleyball?

[futilitarian_]

I don't know if it says that much about his career. I thought he was great in Saving Private Ryan and Road to Perdition. I can't remember any of the other movies (though he's been in at least 200) but he's usually pretty good.

Though I haven't seen it, his new movie looks absolutely pitiful. If I were forced to watch it I'd make sure to bring sandpaper to wack off with just to distract myself from the pain of watching that garbage. Holy run-on, Batman!

[sathethert]

See, I love most of Hank's performances. It's just that Castaway shows how desperate he was to be in something after the debacle that was Green Mile.