Hi. My name is Joe, and I work in a button factory. One day, my boss came up to me and said, "Push the button with your left hand ( Read more... )

My tummy hurt today, so I left work early. What I have accomplished is watching Rocko's Modern Life on Netflix, putting laundry in the washer (and proceeding to leave it there... maybe I'll go find it soon) and "designing" shoes on upperstreet.com, which is probably my new biggest obsession (because having 60 pairs of shoes isn't enough) I don't ( Read more... )

This is my Bubee. He hasn't been doing so great and from everything the vets were saying until now, I honestly thought today was my last day with him. They did some x-rays this morning, though, and found out he has a big heart. I mean that in the literal sense of an enlarged heart, but also in the sense of being an awesome doggie. He's going to be ( Read more... )

Someone buy me the shark doll... please. I need him


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Read this book for sure:


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One of these nasty little things just attacked me in my bathroom:


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Wait until you're done sneezing before descending a staircase lest you want to take the... quick and painful way down. Good to know for next time!

Why is no one talking about Alexander [Lee] McQueen? This is awful news :/

If anyone goes to Foxwoods, go to the arcade and play Pirates of the Caribbean pinball. That way you can check out my #3 high score. Who knew I was so good at pinball ( Read more... )

Did anyone else watch the Harry Potter weekend? I caught bits here and there. The last thing I saw was in the graveyard towards the end of Goblet of Fire where Cedric asks Harry to take his body back. Except now I find myself flipping off the tv and yelling, "Screw you Cedric, Harry should just leave you there. You and your ugly fucking hair..." I ( Read more... )