i just ate the rest of a really delicious cupcake and it made me feel just kind of sick. my hands still smell like german potato salad and i am back in this rut of a town pushing forward. things are going really good in general. really good. problems are evaporating and solace is finding its way into the nooks and corners. licking its tongue on the ( Read more... )

so the lapse is over, and now even the weekend is over. i slept for three hours last night and for whatever reason i am in this best western staring at the ceiling. i will miss louisiana. i want to go to walmart and buy louisiana tee shirts and then roll in the dirt outside with the lovebugs. or maybe we'll stop by brightside and take a quick swim ( Read more... )

fuck eloquence. I feel like they cut the grass here every damn day. The sound of the mower engine is competing with Mike Hogan. I am so hungry, I cannot wait to devour boneless chicken wings later with all white meat lightly fried and spun in my choice of over 16 signature sauces ( Read more... )

I feel like the world will soon deflate like one of those big Happy Birthday balloons, and everyone will fall on top of each other like piles of dolls. Maybe its all of the anxious thoughts that are swarming in my brain like bees to honey, or maybe there is truth to global warming, or maybe its the rising seas and the melting icebergs and the hole ( Read more... )

today the air is a little colder, but the sun is still shining. i walked outside to check the mail and my roommate was tanning and going through her books. i am laying on the twin sized bed by the window. the blinds are open and it looks like an 80's movie in the parking lot. everyone has terrible hair and high-waisted shorts and they are bouncing ( Read more... )

it's a little bit like one of those nights where i want to drink 1/2 a bottle of nyquil and watch sex and the city reruns until my arms sink into the bed and i develop bed burns like the obese people on tv, who eat themselves sick day after day. like the kind of people who eat 7 grilled cheese sandwiches for a midnight snack. i want to be that ( Read more... )

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It's been three years and I still remember what color underwear I was wearing when we walked along the streets of Orange. I will remember the tree we climbed and the sap and the sweat between my fingers when I tried to pretend I wasn't nervous. I will remember the stench of your mother's car seats and how humid the air was when she told you she was ( Read more... )

this week was a definite test of my emotional stability ( Read more... )

It's after 9pm and my eyes might start skydiving out of their sockets. My brain is fried and my tongue is tired. I can smell the dirty dishwater on my fingertips and for the first time in days I'm tempted to cry. My nail beds are thinning. The doctor looked clueless. I told her I have emphysema in the mornings, leukemia in the afternoons. She ( Read more... )