This journal has been a blast, but its too bittersweet to keep going.
It is.
Really.
I am definitely not lost anymore. So I feel that this identity is useless. I created a new journal under a new name. If you want it...
Well.
You know how to find me.

Alot of thoughts and hopes are going on in my mind. I have a lot to write..I've been writing alot of thoughts in my little notebook at work but it feels better to get them on here where they are more permanent? Guess this place is my ultimate release. So much going on that I'm hanging my head each night but I feel its because of my own doing. Even ( Read more... )

Well I had my first up and close encounter of a skinhead. This fucker walks around wal-mart with a swastika on his shirt as big as his chest, but he didn't need that to announce his hate. He had it tattooed all over his body. He also had his skinhead girlfriend with him and they were walking around wal-mart with their chests puffed out as if they ( Read more... )

First and foremost...da da da...I bought new speakers and learned how to install them into my car. My cousin and our friend Phil were teaching me how to do it and they were also showing me how to install an amp and a box into the car. Kevin is going to put all of this in his own car but I know its going to be a long time if I even ever put one in ( Read more... )

It is PRIDE WEEK!!! Speaking of PRIDE, I finally got an email back from the Pride festival coordinators and they are looking for volunteers to work all the different types of booths plus work in the children's center. You would actually have to be on the commitee to help in the production/entertainment area but I don't care. As long as I can help ( Read more... )

Well I'm a couple steps closer to freedom than I was before..*laughs*. After writing this journal, I'm going to check out a job up in Carisle which is an hour from where I live now. It pays almost 16/hr and it involves working in the weather but I'm young and tough, I can take it. Just hope my car can. I did go for an interview with Comcast, but I ( Read more... )

"All these problems on my mind ( Read more... )

Since I don't have access to the internet as much as I would like, I started writing in a journal at home. I was going to write some of the entries here but I won't do that today. I've decided to be KIND today...fucking hate that word. I just want to rebel against that word. I have so much anger and bitterness inside of me that I'm afraid its just ( Read more... )

Just to let everyone know I'm back in PA. I've been passing my time away by hanging out with my cousin, my parents and watching tv. My parents are driving me insane with depression already. Always telling me how shitty I am and how much I suck..it doesn't get to me usually but since I'm sad about leaving Bemidji, it is really hurting me. I'm crying ( Read more... )

Sad fucking world we live in...when a 17 year old native american wakes up, gets dressed, grabs his grandfather's guns and kills his grandparents, takes his grandfather's cop car to school, walks up to the security guard and kills him, walks into the school and opens fire upon the first classroom he gets to, killing the teacher and 5 students, ( Read more... )