(no subject)
Title: Ready For A Fall (24/?)
Author: Chelle Storey-Daniel
Rating: R
Pairing: Addison/Mark, Callie/George, Callie/Alex, George/Izzie, Meredith/Derek
Summary: Sometimes it hurts to fall, but if you're lucky someone may catch you. And they may be falling, too.
A/N: You *know* there had to be drama the first day back at work! Come on!
One
Two
Three
Four
Five
Six
Seven
Eight
Nine
Ten
Eleven
Twelve
Thirteen
Fourteen
Fifteen
Sixteen
Seventeen
Eighteen
Nineteen
Twenty
Twenty One
Twenty Two
Twenty Three
~*~*~*~*~*
And now I'm lost inside your stare
Lost when you're not there
And everything I have doesn't mean a thing
If it's without you
Without you
If it's a dream
Don't wake me up
I'll scream if this isn't love
-Faith Hill
*~*~*~*~*~
Monday morning came faster and earlier than Callie was ready for. She hit the snooze button four times while Alex showered and then he finally resorted to coaxing her from the bed with coffee. A construction crew was already setting up shop in the driveway of Callie's property and the wait for the workers to move their truck had caused Callie and Alex to be late for work. They showed up at the resident’s locker room in time to hear Sydney Heron introducing herself as Chief Resident. Callie groaned and caught Bailey’s eye. Bailey put a finger in her mouth like she was gagging and Callie stifled a giggle.
"Callie O'Malley, there you are!" Sydney called. "Nice of you to join us. Late. I was just introducing myself and saying that things are going to be a little different this year. To the brand new residents, congratulations. Some of you almost cost us our teaching credentials last year. You know who you are. You were all very close to Dr. Bailey, but I won’t name names because that would be tacky. Dr. Stevens, I'm sure you'd agree. Right?
"I’ll just say that I need all of you to remember that you’re doctors. Do not cut wires, do not fall in love with patients, and don’t attempt suicide because I’ll be pissed." Sydney clapped her hands together. "Any questions? No? Great! Karev, you will be working with Sloan. Bailey, you have Grey and Yang in your lovely clinic. Stevens, you’ll be scrubbing in with Montgomery on a hysterectomy. And Callie, because you lied to me about Chief Webber looking for me the other day, you take O’Malley and cover the pit."
"Shit," Callie whispered.
"It’s okay," Alex told her, squeezing her hand as the crowd dispersed. "It was bound to happen sooner or later. Besides, when you lie it always catches up with you."
She grinned at him. "Shut up."
"I’ll see you at lunch." He kissed her and followed the others out of the room.
Callie took a deep breath when George stopped in front of her. He looked pale and his hair was standing up on end. She had to stop herself from automatically reaching up and smoothing it down. It was something she did every day. No, it was something she used to do everyday. Shoving her fists in the pockets of her lab coat, she nodded at him. "Hey."
"Hey," he replied, not looking at her. "So, pit."
"Pit." Callie shot Sydney a scathing look and adjusted the stethoscope around her neck. "I haven’t done pit since I was a second year, but apparently the new sheriff in town is a bitch. A very cheery, huggy bitch."
They walked together to the ER and glanced at the board. Callie chewed her bottom lip thoughtfully and said, "Nothing great to choose from. You want to take the stomach ache and I’ll cover the leg pain?"
"Sure." He nodded and rifled through the charts until he found the correct one. "Cal, er, Dr. Torres?"
"Yes, Dr. O’Malley?"
"I hope you had a good time ... while you were gone. And - and I’m glad you’re back."
She nodded and picked up a chart of her own. As an afterthought, she said, "Thank you for signing the papers. For not making it hard."
"It was the hardest thing *I’ve* ever done." George tucked his chart under his arm. "Besides watching you leave me."
"George-"
"I’m not gonna make it weird. I’m not going to do anything ... except miss you." His eyes moved over her face for a long time. "I don’t want to miss you though, Callie. We could talk. Sometimes. If you could just - not forget that I care about you that would be great."
She gazed into his green eyes, then blinked and looked away. "We’re not friends, George."
"We could be."
She glanced back at him. "Maybe. Just ... not yet."
"I was - one more thing," he said softly when she turned away. He waited until she looked at him again before he spoke. "Did you - are you with Alex? All the way?"
Callie took a deep breath. "Did you sleep with Izzie again? And Olivia? There’s your answer."
He nodded his head, just barely, and walked down the hallway and into his patient’s room.
Callie did the same.
*~*~*~*~*~
"So, I purposely dropped the womb on Steven’s new white sneakers." Addison sat back in her seat, beaming at Callie. "You should have seen her face. She was like ‘oh my god’."
"You sound just like her." Callie wrinkled her nose at Addison’s imitation. "But you have made me proud with the womb, young Padawan."
"Who wears solid white shoes in a hospital? She had it coming. She didn’t even have them covered correctly with the booties." Addison finished off her sandwich and stole a chip from Callie’s untouched plate. "Are you still not eating?"
"Sydney is power tripping. My father is remodeling my life. I am apparently getting a star on the gossip walk of fame and I’m being forced to work with George ... who has decided to kill me with kindness."
Addison gasped. "Holy batshit, girl wonder. How’s that working out?"
"Did you just attempt to pay homage to the classic that is ‘Batman’?"
"You did give me the boxset for my birthday. I’ve watched it all. Twice."
"You’ve come so far. But, see, you would be the Robin to my Batman, so I get to call you ‘girl wonder’. If you call me that again I’ll stab your leg with my fork." Callie patted her hand. "And George said he wants us to be friends."
"I’m friends with Derek."
"I told him maybe someday, but not so much with the now." Callie sipped her Dr. Pepper. "So, you and Mark?"
"Still completely sexless and I’ve decided to be fine with that. I’ve gone through four packs of batteries and have developed a physical attachment to my shower head, but I’m coping."
Callie smiled. "Awww, you’re like a wannabe porn star. What’s stopping you guys now?"
"Romance."
"Come again."
"He’s romancing me. And apparently he’s been watching reruns of ‘Gilligan’s Island’ because we’re definitely not even rated PG, but we did spend hours hiking around the water while he hummed the theme song and made ‘Skipper’ jokes."
"Well, friendly advice? Tone down the ‘Ginger’ and put a little more ‘Mary Ann’ into your routine." Callie pointed at Addison’s shirt. "I’m all about the Vera Wang, but you might want to button it."
Addison gasped and looked down. Her black camisole was clearly visible under her blue shirt, which was unbuttoned almost all the way down. "Oh god. That’s what I get for dropping the womb."
"You’re just advertising your wares." Callie took another sip of her soda as Addison buttoned her shirt and then, for good measure, secured the fastenings on her white coat. "Play hard to get."
"What?"
"Hard to get," Callie repeated. "Act like you completely don’t care that your developing carpal tunnel syndrome from all the self pleasure. Just roll with it."
Addison stole another chip. "The last time I listened to you I almost got arrested for attempted rape."
"You didn’t listen to me! I never said to threaten him with the cuffs." Callie pushed her tray in front of Addison and pulled Addison’s in front of her as Alex walked into the cafeteria. "And because you exposed that I’m raunchy sex kitten to my parents you are *so* covering my ass. I ate lunch, Addison. Got it?"
"No way." Addison pushed the tray back in front of her. "I’d help you dig a grave for a dead body, but I’m not helping dig it for *you*."
"Addison, come on!"
"You have anorexia and I’m telling."
"I do not have anorexia!"
"Then why aren’t you eating?"
"Because I’m not hungry."
"I’m not covering for you. You’re losing too much weight too fast."
"Will you please stop sounding like my parents and be a damn friend?"
"Friends don’t let friends emulate Karen Carpenter. Although you do sing just as pretty."
"Addison-"
"No!"
Callie watched as Alex went through the lunch line and walked her way, carrying a tray. He kissed her on the head and pulled his chair a little closer to hers. "Hey," she said. "How was your facial reconstruction?"
"Good." He glanced at her tray. "How was your lack of a lunch?"
"I really wish people would stop counting my calories."
"Someone has to, Karen." Addison shrugged and looked at Alex. "She’s still not eating. Why is that?"
"She’s being forced to work with O’Malley?"
"So? She still needs to -"
"She’s sitting right here," Callie snapped. "And I’m not eating because I’m not hungry and I’m not hungry because I don’t feel good and I don’t feel good because people keep obsessing about everything I do."
Alex reached out, feeling her head. She felt cool to the touch, but her attitude was definitely scorching. "What’s wrong with you?"
"I am on *pit*. I should not be on pit."
"Well, you did lie to Dr. Heron." Alex leaned forward and kissed her. "Maybe you should hug her, baby. She’d be all over that."
"Webber alert," Addison announced as Callie moved to kiss Alex again.
Chief Webber cleared his throat behind Callie and said, "Dr. Torres, welcome back. When you’ve finished eating I’d appreciate it if you’d stop by my office."
"Yes, sir." Callie waited until he had walked off before she put her head in her hands. "Why do I feel like I’m about to fitted for a sobriety anklet?"
"You haven’t had anything to drink. You’ve got nothing to hide." Alex unwrapped the sandwich on her tray. "So, postpone it by eating, Gothika, because you’re stuck here until you do."
Callie had been on edge most of the day. Her father had already hired construction workers to begin erecting a guard shack *and* a three car garage at her residence. She felt smothered, confined, and like every choice in her life had been taken out of her hands. She was on *pit*. She *had* to go visit the Chief. What she didn’t have to do was eat. Standing, she grabbed her tray and said, "I’m not stuck anywhere!"
Addison watched as Callie dumped her food and stalked out of the cafeteria. "Does she have PMS?"
Alex blinked a few times. "Dear God, I hope that's not what it is. I can't handle her like this once a month."
*~*~*~*~*~
Callie sat across from Chief Webber as he rifled through her employee file. Her medical chart sat a few inches away and she took a deep breath when he quietly reached for it and adjusted his glasses. He had said less than ten words to her in the fifteen minutes she had been in his office and she checked the pulse in her wrist, counting it off as she watched the clock. Surely she had to be reaching stroke level any minute now.
"Dr. Gellar assured me that you’re psychological evaluation was exemplary." He eyed her over the top of his glasses. "I won’t lie to you, Dr. Torres, I still have concerns."
"I understand."
"I realize that there is not a fraternization rule that governs us, but the rumor mill is out of control where you’re concerned. I can’t help but think that showing open affection with Dr. Karev is not going to quiet it."
"With all due respect, sir, I don’t give a damn what the rumor mill is saying. Who I’m dating is not a reflection of my capabilities and it certainly doesn’t define me." Callie indicated her employee file. "I have never had a blemish on my record and before you make any decisions I’d like to ask you ... off the record ... to remember what it felt like to know your marriage was ending. You were sleeping in your office and power walking the halls. I don’t power walk so I made a mistake."
"You think you’re in here for punishment?"
"Am I not?"
Webber grinned. "No, you’re not. I thought I owed you an explanation about why I chose Dr. Heron for Chief Resident."
"You really don’t. I know I messed up."
"You were my first choice. Even after you messed up." Webber closed the file and took his glasses off. "But while you were on vacation, your father paid me a visit. He gave a sizable donation to the Denny Duquette Memorial Clinic and asked that I keep your duties very light for a while. He’s concerned for you and your well being. I can understand that so I honored his request."
Callie felt her cheeks flush with anger. "He had no right to do that and completely *on* the record ... you had no right to let him buy you off."
"That’s not what I did. There’s a much bigger picture." Webber cocked his head to one side. "Dr. Karev also came to me while you were hospitalized to plead your case about whether or not you had attempted suicide. He was very convincing, but he also let me know the extent of your alcohol consumption while in his presence. It was startling."
"I haven’t had anything to drink since I’ve been gone."
"That’s good." Webber leaned forward. "I haven’t told many people this so it’s off the record and better never leave this room. I made Chief Resident when I was a fifth year and I thought that my life was perfect. I had a wife I loved, a career that I adored, and I was the master of my domain. About three months after I took over as Chief Resident it got to me. I won’t go into all the details, but I will tell you that I began to rely on alcohol to unwind every night. I’m a recovering alcoholic. I attend AA meetings and I struggle with it every day. If you’d ever like to go-"
"I am *not* an alcoholic!"
"Okay." He nodded his head, but sounded unconvinced. "Tell you what ... we’re going to limit your shifts to four days a week for the time being. I won’t change your salary or let it affect your residency at all, but until you complete an alcohol education class and prove to me that you’re okay, this is where we’re at."
"You said I wasn’t being called in here to be punished."
"I’m not punishing you, Callie. I’m giving you the wake up call that I always needed, but never had anyone care enough to give me."
"How much did my father pay for *that*?"
Webber put his glasses back on. "That was actually free."
"I’m not feeling well." Callie got to her feet. "I have an infection. I’m sure you saw that in my chart. Can I please go home?"
"Yes."
"Thanks."
*~*~*~*~*~
Callie’s hands were shaking when she walked out of the Chief’s office. She pulled her white jacket a little tighter around her waist and stalked down the hallway. The first thing she was going to do was call her father and tell him exactly what she thought of his interference in her life. She was going to stop the construction, tell him to kiss her ass, and then she was going to find Alex Karev and choke him to death with her bare hands.
"Callie O’Malley!" Sydney called. "I’ve been looking for you."
Callie spun on her heel, a sneer on her face. "If you call me O’Malley one more time I’m going to break your arm off and shove it up your ass."
"Oooh. My goodness! Someone needs a campfire and a rousing rendition of ‘Kumbaya’." Sydney held her arms up in surrender. "There’s a guy in the pit who came in with an open fracture. I paged you, but you didn’t reply, so I gave it to Pratt. Could you please go to the ER and work with O’Malley like I instructed?"
"I’m off the clock. I’m going home."
"What? You’re scheduled to work until seven. It’s only twelve thirty."
"Chief Webber knows."
Sydney put her hand on her hip. "Do you know what a team is? It’s a group of people who have specific areas and duties that they must perform in order for the game to be played well. If you leave the team before your work is finished then your teammates have to cover for you. You don’t-"
"Do you know what a body slam is? It’s a move performed very specifically that will render you incapable of coherent thought when done correctly. And I’m sure that my teammates would vote me the most valuable player in whatever game it is that we’re playing if I did that to you."
"I could write you up for threatening me."
"Go ahead." Callie turned on her heel and headed toward the elevator. Once inside, she flipped open her cellphone and called her father. He answered on the fourth ring. "Dad, I don’t want a guard shack! And I don’t want a garage or anything else done to my rental property!"
"Honey, I know it’s a nuisance to deal with the noise and the -"
"No. A nuisance is the fact that you paid off my fucking boss to not give me a promotion!"
Raphael cleared his throat. "I merely suggested that perhaps-"
"You have ruined my god damned life!"
"This is why I was against you taking drama lessons. You’re overreacting."
"I am *not* overreacting!" The elevator opened and she stalked to the resident’s locker room to get her purse. "How could you do this to me?"
"Because I love you. I love you and I saw how exhausted you were when we arrived at the hospital."
"I was not exhausted! I was half dead!"
"The stress of your job coupled with the divorce is just too much on you right now. It’s best if you-"
"You know what? I am sick to *death* of everyone thinking they know what’s best for me! I know what’s best for me! I am not a child! I am not incapable of thinking for myself! And I’m sick and tired of people treating me like I’m too stupid to live!"
"Calm down!"
"I will *never* forgive you for this! Never!!" She slammed her phone shut and yanked her locker open, grabbing her purse.
The fall from the top of the world to the seventh level of Hell was not a pleasant one. Tears burned her eyes as she dug around for her keys. Her *father*, the same one who had insisted that she go to medical school, had put the kibosh on her advancement. She could just imagine him sitting in the Chief’s office, checkbook open, buying her out of the running. And Alex? She could not believe that he had gone to Webber and told him anything, especially about the alcohol she had consumed on their ‘dates’.
She had only had a few beers at Vinnie’s Italian Bistro and a little over half the bottle of wine at the seafood place. That wasn’t a lot of alcohol.
She had shown everyone what a lot of alcohol was.
Maybe she should give them a refresher course.
Slamming her locker angrily, she skipped changing out of her scrubs and sat down to locate her keys. She finally found them and took the back way into the staff parking deck. Her car peeled rubber easily as she shifted the gears and drove away from the hospital, almost hitting Mark, who was about to enter the lot.
Mark leaned out the window to watch her take the corner so fast that her back tires lost traction for a moment. Swearing, he put his car in reverse and shot after her. His heart lodged in his stomach when she passed a large truck and barely avoided hitting another truck head on. She came close to losing him on the highway, but he kept up, reaching speeds in the eighties, then the nineties. Finally, he was able to seize a break in the traffic. He pulled alongside her and honked the horn. When she looked at him, he mouthed ‘pull over’ and pointed to the side of the road.
He was relieved when she took the next exit. Following her into the parking lot of a strip mall, he jumped out of his car and yanked her door open. He reached across her and took her keys from the ignition, then put his hands on his hips. "You passed an eighteen wheeler on a two lane road! And it was not a passing zone! You couldn’t see around the curve!"
She grabbed her purse and slid from the seat, ignoring him. Glancing up, she saw the liquor store sign and gazed at it with obvious longing. He blocked her when she took a step toward it and she finally looked up at him. "Go away, Sloan."
"Don’t even think about it." He shook his head, indicating the store with his thumb. "Are you out of your mind? You almost died! I had to stop you from choking to death and *this* is what you do?"
"Mark, shut up!"
He grabbed her arms and shook her. "What are you *doing*?!"
"I am having the day from *hell*. Okay?"
"It’s barely one o’clock in the afternoon! It can’t be that bad and it’s too early to start poisoning yourself again!" Mark yanked her toward his BMW and opened the door. "Get in."
"What?"
"Get in the fucking car! I’ll take you home!"
"I am not leaving my car here!"
"Fine. I’ll call Alex." Mark pulled his phone from the clip, but she grabbed it.
"Do not call him! I will go to jail for murder if he comes near me."
"Why? What happened?" He watched her cross her arms over her chest. "Look, you're Addison's best friend so you're stuck with me too. And if I have to manhandle you to get you to talk instead of go into that store then I'll do it."
Callie took a deep breath and explained her meeting with the Chief and the fact that she no longer held the reigns to her own life. "Alex played a part in that! A very big part of the fact that I'm not Chief Resident and he didn't even tell me he did it."
Mark simply stared at her for several long moments. Finally, he said, "Do you understand that you’re crazy? Certifiably insane."
"What!?"
"You have no value for your life at all! None! You poisoned yourself, you almost hit a truck head on today, and when you get a little upset ... the first place you head is the liquor store. You aren’t in control of you life, Callie. So you can’t blame your father or Alex or Addison or anyone else for trying to grab the wheel every time you cross the yellow line. You crossed the yellow line today and *I* was here to see it. You scared the hell out of me!" he yelled.
She lowered her head as the truth of his words sank heavily onto her shoulders. "I don’t know what’s happened to me. It’s like I stopped being myself and I can’t get that person back. Where did I go, Mark?"
"You went to Vegas and you got married. That’s where you went. And from the day that you came back there wasn’t a hint of the woman who picked me up at the bar."
"Uh, that’s because I was faithful."
"No, it’s because you stopped being strong and assertive. For a guy. You gave up your spine for a wedding band and that is why your marriage failed. You weren’t meant to play the victim, but you let him force you into that role," he replied, his voice stern. "But every time you pull a little stunt like *this* ... you break your own back. *You* are the one doing it now. No one else."
"You're right. God, I hate that you are right." Callie brushed a tear off her cheek. "Can I use your phone?"
"You’re holding it. Might as well."
Callie dialed a number and said, "Cam? Can you come and get me?"
Mark breathed a sigh of relief when Callie hung up a few minutes later.
He kept her in his car until her brother and his boyfriend arrived.
*~*~*~*~*~
George was finishing up the last of a rush of patients went Alex walked across the ER, peering into different rooms. George signed off on a chart and nodded at the nurse who thanked him. Taking a deep breath, he met the other man halfway and said, "She’s not here."
"Who?" Alex asked absently, gazing into another room.
"Callie. She went home."
Alex finally looked at George. "What did you do to her?!"
"I didn’t do anything. I don’t think she felt very good. She, uh, she didn’t look right."
"That would be cause and effect. You make her not look right." Alex glanced at his watch and pulled out his cell phone. He dialed Callie’s number, but she didn’t answer. "Damn it. I have to scrub in with Montgomery in fifteen minutes. Did she say anything before she left?"
"Not to me. But apparently she threatened Dr. Heron. She was livid when she came to tell me Callie was gone for the day."
Scratching the side of his head, Alex said, "Dr. Heron has been on her ass since this morning. Callie already hates her and-"
"I didn’t believe you."
Alex stuffed his phone back into his pocket. "What?"
"I didn’t believe you the day that you told me that you were interested. In her. I thought you were just trying to make me jealous."
"Well, I wasn’t."
"Are you - do you even care about her? Or is this a game to you. She's rich and she's vulnerable."
Alex stared him in the eye. "I’m in love with her. And she’s in love with me."
George lifted a hand to his chest and massaged it as if the phantom of his marriage had squeezed his heart. He swallowed hard and took a deep breath. "If you hurt her-"
"I’m not you. I don’t get any pleasure whatsoever out of seeing her cry and I don’t think of her last unless I’m falling asleep. She's always first for me and that's not something you ever did for her. I’m not you," Alex repeated. "Leave us alone. We’re happy."
"We both know that you’re a screw up." George squared his shoulders and stood a little straighter. "So, I’m gonna give you the same warning you gave me. I’m still interested and I’ll be waiting when you do fuck it all up. And you will. Because it’s what you do."
"You really do have a death wish." Alex looked down at him. "And I’m not talking about from me. Callie will kill you if you go there ... if you get anywhere near there. And I’ll kill you for trying."
Mark Sloan tapped Alex on the shoulder and said, "I need to talk to you. It's an emergency."
*~*~*~*~*~
Cam handed Callie a cup of coffee and sat beside her on the sofa. Neither had spoken at all since he had driven her to her place. Neither needed to. He felt her pain as clearly as if he had been living her life. He had woken up that morning with enough anxiety and concern that he had postponed flying home indefinitely. Silently, he reached over and pressed his knuckles against hers. He could almost hear her saying ‘wonder twins power, activate’, but he didn’t need to hear it to know that they had.
"Where’s Blake?"
"He had some errands to run," Cam said. "And he knew we needed to be alone for a while."
Callie took a deep breath. "Have you ever felt like everyone in the world was out to get you?"
"No." He took her hand. "Because I know that there’s always one person who’s not. She kinda looks a little like me."
She gave him a sad smile and laced their fingers. "That’s true."
"What happened today?"
She told him. Everything. She told him about Alex going to Webber, about their father making the donation in order to keep her duties ‘light’, and then she looked at her brother and said, "George wants us to be friends."
"Keep your friends close, but your enemies closer." He studied her face. "You don’t still have feelings for him do you?"
"Not the way I did. Not at all in any romantic way, but he’s *George*. I look at him and want to hit him or hug him. Which is nothing new because I've always toed that line of hostility or affection, but he's *George*."
"I vote for hitting."
"You’d probably win that vote." She nodded. "I almost got drunk today." She heard him take a deep breath beside her, but she didn’t stop talking. "Chief Webber implied that I have a problem with alcohol and invited me to attend AA with him. It was insulting. It made me feel like the biggest failure in the world so ... so I thought why not. You know? Why not go and drown in alcohol since people think that’s all I can do. Everyone expects it."
"I don’t."
"I keep assigning blame. I keep pointing the finger at George or at Daddy or at Sydney, but I am the mess *I* made." She ran a hand through her hair, pushing it off her face. "I’m the author of my own pain and I can’t keep denying it." She glanced at him and what she said next caused her physical pain. "Cambyses, I knew what I was doing when I drank so much. It was intentional. I tried to kill myself."
Cam’s eyes filled with tears, but he said nothing. His grip on her hand tightened a little, though. Callie saw the devastation on his face and quickly looked away. After a few minutes, she said, "I’ve never been afraid of anything. Loukas is scared of heights. Stavros is scared of clowns. You’re scared of, well, everything, and I always laughed at you all because fear is ridiculous."
She turned her head and waited for him to look at her. "I’m afraid of life, Cam. I’m afraid of what will happen tonight or tomorrow or what I’ll do when it does. I don’t trust myself anymore. I let George flip me on my ass a million times and I didn’t stop him ... even when it hurt too much to get up at all. He *destroyed* me while we were dating and I married him anyway.
"It’s like I let him take all of me and squander it until what I took back from him were fragments of who I used to be. And I can’t blame him for that, Cam, because I *knew* it. I knew I couldn’t change him, but I didn’t care enough about *me* to fight for myself." She put her other hand on top of his. "I think I’m ready to start fighting now."
"What do you mean?"
"Daddy is *not* going to remodel this place. I want it the way it is and if he doesn’t like it then he doesn’t have to visit. And Sydney Heron may be Chief Resident, but she’s not going to treat me like crap because I *was* the first choice and that matters. And Alex can’t keep treating me with kid gloves because he swore to me that he’d never do that and he is."
"How is Alex -"
"He checks my seatbelt in the car! He tries to force me to eat every couple of hours! He *agreed* with Daddy about the remodel and-"
"Callie?"
"What?"
"You authored your own pain. Remember? If he checks your seatbelt it’s because he’s afraid it slipped your mind. And if he has to *force* you to eat then it’s because you’re not. Anyone with eyes can see that you’re not. And Dad’s right about this place. It’s too dark and dangerous and *you* know that, you’re just too stubborn to admit it." He turned on the sofa and put an arm around her. "It’s not that the world is out to get you, Callie, it’s that you’re out to get yourself. You're afraid to trust your own judgment because you were wrong about George. You don’t always have to be the strongest or the most fearless ... you can lean on other people."
"I leaned on George and he let me fall."
"Well, some of us are a lot bigger than that Gremlin you married. I can hold you up and so can ‘Jock Strap’. I think he proved that at the party." He saw the expression on her face. "Yes, yes, yes. I followed you up to the roof. You know I’m a compulsive eavesdropper. I make no apologies. I liked what he had to say to you and you didn’t do half bad yourself."
"I don’t want him to smother me."
"Then make it clear," Cam replied. "But don’t mistake smothering for loving someone. I check Blake’s seatbelt. I worry about him when his meetings run too long because I know that his blood sugar can go crazy if he doesn’t eat. I interrupted the biggest deal of his life to take him lunch. He was pissed at me for two days and you know what? It didn’t faze me because when you’re in a relationship ... that’s what you do. You risk stroking the caged animal and drawing back a nub because it’s worth it to feel what you love."
"No one’s ever treated me like Alex does. I’m not used to it."
"Is it really that bad?"
She shook her head. "No. It’s actually as close to perfect as I’ve ever had."
"Are you just being a big cry baby because you jumped out of one relationship and landed right in another?"
"Is it that obvious?"
"You wouldn’t be Callie if you didn’t jump. And something tells me that Alex wouldn’t be Alex if he didn’t hold out his mitt to catch you." He kissed her head. "Don’t fear life. The good news is that we get to endure it once and the better news is that if we’re lucky someone gets us while we’re hanging around waiting to die. Do you want to be gotten, Callie?"
"By Alex? Definitely."
"The stop worrying about what happens tonight or tomorrow or next week. You said that you authored your pain, but you also author your future. Don’t put the pen down before the final act." He pulled her head against his shoulder. "And don’t think about writing that final act for a very, very long time."
"I love you."
"Who doesn’t?"
"Your ego is -"
"Only slightly smaller than yours so reclaim it and start believing that you’re all that." He squeezed her. "I love you, too, by the way."
"Wanna play Dungeons and Dragons?"
"You really want me to kick your ass?"
"Have you ever?" she asked, eyebrow raised.
"No time like the present to -"
"Try. That’s all you can do."
"Bring it out and let’s just see what I can do."
"Spoken like someone who is going to draw back a nub," Callie said, pulling the board game from a nearby trunk. "It’s gonna get ugly."
"I can hold my own."
*~*~*~*~*~
Alex sat quietly in the back seat of Mark’s car, listening to him explain everything in detail to Addison. It was almost seven thirty and he was exhausted. Webber had refused to let him leave after Mark had shared what had transpired. Addison, sensing that something had happened, had been kind enough to let him stand in her surgery, but didn’t ask him for more than that. He’s simply stood and watched and thought about the story that he was hearing for the second time now. He gripped his thigh when Mark told her about the truck that Callie almost hit and closed his eyes when the subject of speed was brought up.
"She had to have been going a hundred at one point. I was going ninety and she passed a big rig like it was on wheels."
Addison popped him on the back of the head. "Don’t ever drive that fast again!"
"Hello? I was trying to save your friend! *Our* friend."
"And she went to the liquor store?"
"She wanted to. I didn’t let her." Mark took Addy’s hand over the gear shifter. "And it means a lot that she called her brother and didn’t fight me on it. So, keep that in mind if you plan on screaming at her. I already did a good job of it."
Alex saw that Mark was looking at him in the rearview mirror and averted his eyes. He wasn’t sure what would happen when he talked to her. One thing was absolutely certain, though. All the way to his gut he knew that she was going to break things off with him. George had been so confident, so cocky about his chances with her. And she had obviously been upset enough to -
"What’s with all the construction?" Mark asked, parking beside Callie’s car.
"Her father didn’t like it here." Alex climbed out of the backseat. "He wants it to be safer for her."
"She doesn’t like people doing things like that. It pisses her off to not call the shots." Addison came around the car and put a hand on Alex's arm. "Are you okay?"
He shook his head and adjusted the strap on his duffel. "No. I’m not."
Mark watched as Alex headed down the trail and glanced at Addison. "Let’s just go. He needs to -"
"No." Addison headed down the trail behind him. "I want to make sure she’s okay."
Blake and Cam were sitting on the sofa when Alex entered the salon. Blake stood up and smiled at him, but his smile faded when he saw the other man’s face. He looked at Cam, who got to his feet slowly and said, "She’s asleep."
Alex nodded, putting his duffel on the kitchen counter. Blake walked to the sink and said, "I cooked dinner. It’s still cooking, actually. If you’ll take it out of the oven in about twenty minutes it’ll be great."
"Blake’s famous chicken parmesan." Cam smiled at Addison and Mark, who stood just off to the side of the galley. "There’s plenty if you guys want to stay. We actually need to head out. I’ve got some work that I didn’t manage to phone in today so I need to get it done."
"How is she?" Addison asked.
"Better." Cam watched Alex as he replied. "She’s okay. Whatever happened today she *gets* it. She’s finally aware of everything. Especially what she wants. Who she wants." He took a step closer to Alex and addressed him. "You should go talk to her."
"She’s asleep."
"Wake her up, Alex. Wake her up."
Alex stared at him and saw Callie’s eyes looking back, imploring him. He nodded and wordlessly headed down the hallway. She was lying with her back facing him, her hair spread on the pillow. He quietly shut the door behind him, but the clicking caused her to roll over and look at him. She sat up, Indian style, and pulled a pillow into her lap.
He walked across the room and sat down in front of her, not looking at her. "Just - say it."
"Say what?" she asked.
"End it fast because I can’t do slow. I can't breathe."
"You think I’m ending it?"
"Aren’t you? Because of what I said to the Chief?"
"I thought you would be ending it after what I did today." Callie held the pillow a little tighter. "I’m not, by the way. Ending it."
"I’m not either."
"Alex." She reached out, touching his shoulder. "Are you gonna yell at me?"
"Are you okay?"
"If I say no will that stop you from yelling at me?"
"No."
Her chin began to tremble. "Then what are you waiting for? Go ahead and do it."
"I’m not yelling." He turned and faced her, catching the tear that dropped onto her cheek. He pulled her into his arms and let his hand tangle in her hair. "But I am gonna hang onto you for a while."
Callie hugged him, tight. She breathed a sigh of relief and kissed his neck, massaging it. Her anxiety always faded as soon as he touched her and she was relieved that the current moment was no exception. Closing her eyes, she said, "I do need to tell you something."
He didn’t let her go. "Okay."
"You told me you wouldn’t use kid gloves with me while I was in the hospital. So don’t start now."
Alex eased away from her. "What do you mean?"
"I don’t need you to be the food police or to treat me like I’m breakable. I’m not. I already have a father who does that to me and -"
"Okay." Alex cut her off. "Fine. You don’t want kid gloves? You’re going to get your ass out of this bed and you’re going to come and eat dinner with me. You’re going to actually eat because if you don’t then I’ll force you."
"You’ll force me? Right." she scoffed.
"Wanna try me?" He waited and she finally shook her head. "And while the gloves are off, let me tell you that if you *ever* drive your car again the way that Mark said you did ... I’ll personally drive it into the bay and buy you a bicycle."
She gazed at him, wide eyed. No one had ever been so blunt with her. "Is that it?"
"No, that’s not it." He kissed her, his hands on her face. "If you scare me like this again I’ll cuff you to the bed and do things to you that -"
"Honey, that’s really not a threat. I *like* being cuffed to the bed."
"Stop distracting me in the middle of my rant!"
"Stop ranting," she suggested.
"If I didn’t love you so much I’d dunk your head in the toilet. I used to do it to the Goth kids in high school."
"If I didn’t love you so much I’d put Bengay in your underwear. I used to do it to the jocks in high school."
"How are we together? How?"
"Because you suck at life. No self respecting jock would know ‘Princess Bride’ forward and backward."
"No self respecting Goth would sing old standards and cry while watching ‘The Goonies’. You're as Gothic as Avril Lavigne is punk."
She burst out laughing and a second later he joined her.
In the galley, Cam smiled at Addison and Mark, who both breathed a sigh of relief. Blake scribbled out a note, took the food out of the oven, and all four of them quietly left together.
Callie’s laughter could still be heard halfway down the dock.
It sounded good.
*~*~*~*~*~
So, Callie said she's not a flier anymore ... but she FLEW in her car.
What's gonna happen?
I think Addison just might be very grateful to Mark for saving her buddy ... she just might wanna "MAKE LOVE"... mrowr.
Author: Chelle Storey-Daniel
Rating: R
Pairing: Addison/Mark, Callie/George, Callie/Alex, George/Izzie, Meredith/Derek
Summary: Sometimes it hurts to fall, but if you're lucky someone may catch you. And they may be falling, too.
A/N: You *know* there had to be drama the first day back at work! Come on!
One
Two
Three
Four
Five
Six
Seven
Eight
Nine
Ten
Eleven
Twelve
Thirteen
Fourteen
Fifteen
Sixteen
Seventeen
Eighteen
Nineteen
Twenty
Twenty One
Twenty Two
Twenty Three
~*~*~*~*~*
And now I'm lost inside your stare
Lost when you're not there
And everything I have doesn't mean a thing
If it's without you
Without you
If it's a dream
Don't wake me up
I'll scream if this isn't love
-Faith Hill
*~*~*~*~*~
Monday morning came faster and earlier than Callie was ready for. She hit the snooze button four times while Alex showered and then he finally resorted to coaxing her from the bed with coffee. A construction crew was already setting up shop in the driveway of Callie's property and the wait for the workers to move their truck had caused Callie and Alex to be late for work. They showed up at the resident’s locker room in time to hear Sydney Heron introducing herself as Chief Resident. Callie groaned and caught Bailey’s eye. Bailey put a finger in her mouth like she was gagging and Callie stifled a giggle.
"Callie O'Malley, there you are!" Sydney called. "Nice of you to join us. Late. I was just introducing myself and saying that things are going to be a little different this year. To the brand new residents, congratulations. Some of you almost cost us our teaching credentials last year. You know who you are. You were all very close to Dr. Bailey, but I won’t name names because that would be tacky. Dr. Stevens, I'm sure you'd agree. Right?
"I’ll just say that I need all of you to remember that you’re doctors. Do not cut wires, do not fall in love with patients, and don’t attempt suicide because I’ll be pissed." Sydney clapped her hands together. "Any questions? No? Great! Karev, you will be working with Sloan. Bailey, you have Grey and Yang in your lovely clinic. Stevens, you’ll be scrubbing in with Montgomery on a hysterectomy. And Callie, because you lied to me about Chief Webber looking for me the other day, you take O’Malley and cover the pit."
"Shit," Callie whispered.
"It’s okay," Alex told her, squeezing her hand as the crowd dispersed. "It was bound to happen sooner or later. Besides, when you lie it always catches up with you."
She grinned at him. "Shut up."
"I’ll see you at lunch." He kissed her and followed the others out of the room.
Callie took a deep breath when George stopped in front of her. He looked pale and his hair was standing up on end. She had to stop herself from automatically reaching up and smoothing it down. It was something she did every day. No, it was something she used to do everyday. Shoving her fists in the pockets of her lab coat, she nodded at him. "Hey."
"Hey," he replied, not looking at her. "So, pit."
"Pit." Callie shot Sydney a scathing look and adjusted the stethoscope around her neck. "I haven’t done pit since I was a second year, but apparently the new sheriff in town is a bitch. A very cheery, huggy bitch."
They walked together to the ER and glanced at the board. Callie chewed her bottom lip thoughtfully and said, "Nothing great to choose from. You want to take the stomach ache and I’ll cover the leg pain?"
"Sure." He nodded and rifled through the charts until he found the correct one. "Cal, er, Dr. Torres?"
"Yes, Dr. O’Malley?"
"I hope you had a good time ... while you were gone. And - and I’m glad you’re back."
She nodded and picked up a chart of her own. As an afterthought, she said, "Thank you for signing the papers. For not making it hard."
"It was the hardest thing *I’ve* ever done." George tucked his chart under his arm. "Besides watching you leave me."
"George-"
"I’m not gonna make it weird. I’m not going to do anything ... except miss you." His eyes moved over her face for a long time. "I don’t want to miss you though, Callie. We could talk. Sometimes. If you could just - not forget that I care about you that would be great."
She gazed into his green eyes, then blinked and looked away. "We’re not friends, George."
"We could be."
She glanced back at him. "Maybe. Just ... not yet."
"I was - one more thing," he said softly when she turned away. He waited until she looked at him again before he spoke. "Did you - are you with Alex? All the way?"
Callie took a deep breath. "Did you sleep with Izzie again? And Olivia? There’s your answer."
He nodded his head, just barely, and walked down the hallway and into his patient’s room.
Callie did the same.
*~*~*~*~*~
"So, I purposely dropped the womb on Steven’s new white sneakers." Addison sat back in her seat, beaming at Callie. "You should have seen her face. She was like ‘oh my god’."
"You sound just like her." Callie wrinkled her nose at Addison’s imitation. "But you have made me proud with the womb, young Padawan."
"Who wears solid white shoes in a hospital? She had it coming. She didn’t even have them covered correctly with the booties." Addison finished off her sandwich and stole a chip from Callie’s untouched plate. "Are you still not eating?"
"Sydney is power tripping. My father is remodeling my life. I am apparently getting a star on the gossip walk of fame and I’m being forced to work with George ... who has decided to kill me with kindness."
Addison gasped. "Holy batshit, girl wonder. How’s that working out?"
"Did you just attempt to pay homage to the classic that is ‘Batman’?"
"You did give me the boxset for my birthday. I’ve watched it all. Twice."
"You’ve come so far. But, see, you would be the Robin to my Batman, so I get to call you ‘girl wonder’. If you call me that again I’ll stab your leg with my fork." Callie patted her hand. "And George said he wants us to be friends."
"I’m friends with Derek."
"I told him maybe someday, but not so much with the now." Callie sipped her Dr. Pepper. "So, you and Mark?"
"Still completely sexless and I’ve decided to be fine with that. I’ve gone through four packs of batteries and have developed a physical attachment to my shower head, but I’m coping."
Callie smiled. "Awww, you’re like a wannabe porn star. What’s stopping you guys now?"
"Romance."
"Come again."
"He’s romancing me. And apparently he’s been watching reruns of ‘Gilligan’s Island’ because we’re definitely not even rated PG, but we did spend hours hiking around the water while he hummed the theme song and made ‘Skipper’ jokes."
"Well, friendly advice? Tone down the ‘Ginger’ and put a little more ‘Mary Ann’ into your routine." Callie pointed at Addison’s shirt. "I’m all about the Vera Wang, but you might want to button it."
Addison gasped and looked down. Her black camisole was clearly visible under her blue shirt, which was unbuttoned almost all the way down. "Oh god. That’s what I get for dropping the womb."
"You’re just advertising your wares." Callie took another sip of her soda as Addison buttoned her shirt and then, for good measure, secured the fastenings on her white coat. "Play hard to get."
"What?"
"Hard to get," Callie repeated. "Act like you completely don’t care that your developing carpal tunnel syndrome from all the self pleasure. Just roll with it."
Addison stole another chip. "The last time I listened to you I almost got arrested for attempted rape."
"You didn’t listen to me! I never said to threaten him with the cuffs." Callie pushed her tray in front of Addison and pulled Addison’s in front of her as Alex walked into the cafeteria. "And because you exposed that I’m raunchy sex kitten to my parents you are *so* covering my ass. I ate lunch, Addison. Got it?"
"No way." Addison pushed the tray back in front of her. "I’d help you dig a grave for a dead body, but I’m not helping dig it for *you*."
"Addison, come on!"
"You have anorexia and I’m telling."
"I do not have anorexia!"
"Then why aren’t you eating?"
"Because I’m not hungry."
"I’m not covering for you. You’re losing too much weight too fast."
"Will you please stop sounding like my parents and be a damn friend?"
"Friends don’t let friends emulate Karen Carpenter. Although you do sing just as pretty."
"Addison-"
"No!"
Callie watched as Alex went through the lunch line and walked her way, carrying a tray. He kissed her on the head and pulled his chair a little closer to hers. "Hey," she said. "How was your facial reconstruction?"
"Good." He glanced at her tray. "How was your lack of a lunch?"
"I really wish people would stop counting my calories."
"Someone has to, Karen." Addison shrugged and looked at Alex. "She’s still not eating. Why is that?"
"She’s being forced to work with O’Malley?"
"So? She still needs to -"
"She’s sitting right here," Callie snapped. "And I’m not eating because I’m not hungry and I’m not hungry because I don’t feel good and I don’t feel good because people keep obsessing about everything I do."
Alex reached out, feeling her head. She felt cool to the touch, but her attitude was definitely scorching. "What’s wrong with you?"
"I am on *pit*. I should not be on pit."
"Well, you did lie to Dr. Heron." Alex leaned forward and kissed her. "Maybe you should hug her, baby. She’d be all over that."
"Webber alert," Addison announced as Callie moved to kiss Alex again.
Chief Webber cleared his throat behind Callie and said, "Dr. Torres, welcome back. When you’ve finished eating I’d appreciate it if you’d stop by my office."
"Yes, sir." Callie waited until he had walked off before she put her head in her hands. "Why do I feel like I’m about to fitted for a sobriety anklet?"
"You haven’t had anything to drink. You’ve got nothing to hide." Alex unwrapped the sandwich on her tray. "So, postpone it by eating, Gothika, because you’re stuck here until you do."
Callie had been on edge most of the day. Her father had already hired construction workers to begin erecting a guard shack *and* a three car garage at her residence. She felt smothered, confined, and like every choice in her life had been taken out of her hands. She was on *pit*. She *had* to go visit the Chief. What she didn’t have to do was eat. Standing, she grabbed her tray and said, "I’m not stuck anywhere!"
Addison watched as Callie dumped her food and stalked out of the cafeteria. "Does she have PMS?"
Alex blinked a few times. "Dear God, I hope that's not what it is. I can't handle her like this once a month."
*~*~*~*~*~
Callie sat across from Chief Webber as he rifled through her employee file. Her medical chart sat a few inches away and she took a deep breath when he quietly reached for it and adjusted his glasses. He had said less than ten words to her in the fifteen minutes she had been in his office and she checked the pulse in her wrist, counting it off as she watched the clock. Surely she had to be reaching stroke level any minute now.
"Dr. Gellar assured me that you’re psychological evaluation was exemplary." He eyed her over the top of his glasses. "I won’t lie to you, Dr. Torres, I still have concerns."
"I understand."
"I realize that there is not a fraternization rule that governs us, but the rumor mill is out of control where you’re concerned. I can’t help but think that showing open affection with Dr. Karev is not going to quiet it."
"With all due respect, sir, I don’t give a damn what the rumor mill is saying. Who I’m dating is not a reflection of my capabilities and it certainly doesn’t define me." Callie indicated her employee file. "I have never had a blemish on my record and before you make any decisions I’d like to ask you ... off the record ... to remember what it felt like to know your marriage was ending. You were sleeping in your office and power walking the halls. I don’t power walk so I made a mistake."
"You think you’re in here for punishment?"
"Am I not?"
Webber grinned. "No, you’re not. I thought I owed you an explanation about why I chose Dr. Heron for Chief Resident."
"You really don’t. I know I messed up."
"You were my first choice. Even after you messed up." Webber closed the file and took his glasses off. "But while you were on vacation, your father paid me a visit. He gave a sizable donation to the Denny Duquette Memorial Clinic and asked that I keep your duties very light for a while. He’s concerned for you and your well being. I can understand that so I honored his request."
Callie felt her cheeks flush with anger. "He had no right to do that and completely *on* the record ... you had no right to let him buy you off."
"That’s not what I did. There’s a much bigger picture." Webber cocked his head to one side. "Dr. Karev also came to me while you were hospitalized to plead your case about whether or not you had attempted suicide. He was very convincing, but he also let me know the extent of your alcohol consumption while in his presence. It was startling."
"I haven’t had anything to drink since I’ve been gone."
"That’s good." Webber leaned forward. "I haven’t told many people this so it’s off the record and better never leave this room. I made Chief Resident when I was a fifth year and I thought that my life was perfect. I had a wife I loved, a career that I adored, and I was the master of my domain. About three months after I took over as Chief Resident it got to me. I won’t go into all the details, but I will tell you that I began to rely on alcohol to unwind every night. I’m a recovering alcoholic. I attend AA meetings and I struggle with it every day. If you’d ever like to go-"
"I am *not* an alcoholic!"
"Okay." He nodded his head, but sounded unconvinced. "Tell you what ... we’re going to limit your shifts to four days a week for the time being. I won’t change your salary or let it affect your residency at all, but until you complete an alcohol education class and prove to me that you’re okay, this is where we’re at."
"You said I wasn’t being called in here to be punished."
"I’m not punishing you, Callie. I’m giving you the wake up call that I always needed, but never had anyone care enough to give me."
"How much did my father pay for *that*?"
Webber put his glasses back on. "That was actually free."
"I’m not feeling well." Callie got to her feet. "I have an infection. I’m sure you saw that in my chart. Can I please go home?"
"Yes."
"Thanks."
*~*~*~*~*~
Callie’s hands were shaking when she walked out of the Chief’s office. She pulled her white jacket a little tighter around her waist and stalked down the hallway. The first thing she was going to do was call her father and tell him exactly what she thought of his interference in her life. She was going to stop the construction, tell him to kiss her ass, and then she was going to find Alex Karev and choke him to death with her bare hands.
"Callie O’Malley!" Sydney called. "I’ve been looking for you."
Callie spun on her heel, a sneer on her face. "If you call me O’Malley one more time I’m going to break your arm off and shove it up your ass."
"Oooh. My goodness! Someone needs a campfire and a rousing rendition of ‘Kumbaya’." Sydney held her arms up in surrender. "There’s a guy in the pit who came in with an open fracture. I paged you, but you didn’t reply, so I gave it to Pratt. Could you please go to the ER and work with O’Malley like I instructed?"
"I’m off the clock. I’m going home."
"What? You’re scheduled to work until seven. It’s only twelve thirty."
"Chief Webber knows."
Sydney put her hand on her hip. "Do you know what a team is? It’s a group of people who have specific areas and duties that they must perform in order for the game to be played well. If you leave the team before your work is finished then your teammates have to cover for you. You don’t-"
"Do you know what a body slam is? It’s a move performed very specifically that will render you incapable of coherent thought when done correctly. And I’m sure that my teammates would vote me the most valuable player in whatever game it is that we’re playing if I did that to you."
"I could write you up for threatening me."
"Go ahead." Callie turned on her heel and headed toward the elevator. Once inside, she flipped open her cellphone and called her father. He answered on the fourth ring. "Dad, I don’t want a guard shack! And I don’t want a garage or anything else done to my rental property!"
"Honey, I know it’s a nuisance to deal with the noise and the -"
"No. A nuisance is the fact that you paid off my fucking boss to not give me a promotion!"
Raphael cleared his throat. "I merely suggested that perhaps-"
"You have ruined my god damned life!"
"This is why I was against you taking drama lessons. You’re overreacting."
"I am *not* overreacting!" The elevator opened and she stalked to the resident’s locker room to get her purse. "How could you do this to me?"
"Because I love you. I love you and I saw how exhausted you were when we arrived at the hospital."
"I was not exhausted! I was half dead!"
"The stress of your job coupled with the divorce is just too much on you right now. It’s best if you-"
"You know what? I am sick to *death* of everyone thinking they know what’s best for me! I know what’s best for me! I am not a child! I am not incapable of thinking for myself! And I’m sick and tired of people treating me like I’m too stupid to live!"
"Calm down!"
"I will *never* forgive you for this! Never!!" She slammed her phone shut and yanked her locker open, grabbing her purse.
The fall from the top of the world to the seventh level of Hell was not a pleasant one. Tears burned her eyes as she dug around for her keys. Her *father*, the same one who had insisted that she go to medical school, had put the kibosh on her advancement. She could just imagine him sitting in the Chief’s office, checkbook open, buying her out of the running. And Alex? She could not believe that he had gone to Webber and told him anything, especially about the alcohol she had consumed on their ‘dates’.
She had only had a few beers at Vinnie’s Italian Bistro and a little over half the bottle of wine at the seafood place. That wasn’t a lot of alcohol.
She had shown everyone what a lot of alcohol was.
Maybe she should give them a refresher course.
Slamming her locker angrily, she skipped changing out of her scrubs and sat down to locate her keys. She finally found them and took the back way into the staff parking deck. Her car peeled rubber easily as she shifted the gears and drove away from the hospital, almost hitting Mark, who was about to enter the lot.
Mark leaned out the window to watch her take the corner so fast that her back tires lost traction for a moment. Swearing, he put his car in reverse and shot after her. His heart lodged in his stomach when she passed a large truck and barely avoided hitting another truck head on. She came close to losing him on the highway, but he kept up, reaching speeds in the eighties, then the nineties. Finally, he was able to seize a break in the traffic. He pulled alongside her and honked the horn. When she looked at him, he mouthed ‘pull over’ and pointed to the side of the road.
He was relieved when she took the next exit. Following her into the parking lot of a strip mall, he jumped out of his car and yanked her door open. He reached across her and took her keys from the ignition, then put his hands on his hips. "You passed an eighteen wheeler on a two lane road! And it was not a passing zone! You couldn’t see around the curve!"
She grabbed her purse and slid from the seat, ignoring him. Glancing up, she saw the liquor store sign and gazed at it with obvious longing. He blocked her when she took a step toward it and she finally looked up at him. "Go away, Sloan."
"Don’t even think about it." He shook his head, indicating the store with his thumb. "Are you out of your mind? You almost died! I had to stop you from choking to death and *this* is what you do?"
"Mark, shut up!"
He grabbed her arms and shook her. "What are you *doing*?!"
"I am having the day from *hell*. Okay?"
"It’s barely one o’clock in the afternoon! It can’t be that bad and it’s too early to start poisoning yourself again!" Mark yanked her toward his BMW and opened the door. "Get in."
"What?"
"Get in the fucking car! I’ll take you home!"
"I am not leaving my car here!"
"Fine. I’ll call Alex." Mark pulled his phone from the clip, but she grabbed it.
"Do not call him! I will go to jail for murder if he comes near me."
"Why? What happened?" He watched her cross her arms over her chest. "Look, you're Addison's best friend so you're stuck with me too. And if I have to manhandle you to get you to talk instead of go into that store then I'll do it."
Callie took a deep breath and explained her meeting with the Chief and the fact that she no longer held the reigns to her own life. "Alex played a part in that! A very big part of the fact that I'm not Chief Resident and he didn't even tell me he did it."
Mark simply stared at her for several long moments. Finally, he said, "Do you understand that you’re crazy? Certifiably insane."
"What!?"
"You have no value for your life at all! None! You poisoned yourself, you almost hit a truck head on today, and when you get a little upset ... the first place you head is the liquor store. You aren’t in control of you life, Callie. So you can’t blame your father or Alex or Addison or anyone else for trying to grab the wheel every time you cross the yellow line. You crossed the yellow line today and *I* was here to see it. You scared the hell out of me!" he yelled.
She lowered her head as the truth of his words sank heavily onto her shoulders. "I don’t know what’s happened to me. It’s like I stopped being myself and I can’t get that person back. Where did I go, Mark?"
"You went to Vegas and you got married. That’s where you went. And from the day that you came back there wasn’t a hint of the woman who picked me up at the bar."
"Uh, that’s because I was faithful."
"No, it’s because you stopped being strong and assertive. For a guy. You gave up your spine for a wedding band and that is why your marriage failed. You weren’t meant to play the victim, but you let him force you into that role," he replied, his voice stern. "But every time you pull a little stunt like *this* ... you break your own back. *You* are the one doing it now. No one else."
"You're right. God, I hate that you are right." Callie brushed a tear off her cheek. "Can I use your phone?"
"You’re holding it. Might as well."
Callie dialed a number and said, "Cam? Can you come and get me?"
Mark breathed a sigh of relief when Callie hung up a few minutes later.
He kept her in his car until her brother and his boyfriend arrived.
*~*~*~*~*~
George was finishing up the last of a rush of patients went Alex walked across the ER, peering into different rooms. George signed off on a chart and nodded at the nurse who thanked him. Taking a deep breath, he met the other man halfway and said, "She’s not here."
"Who?" Alex asked absently, gazing into another room.
"Callie. She went home."
Alex finally looked at George. "What did you do to her?!"
"I didn’t do anything. I don’t think she felt very good. She, uh, she didn’t look right."
"That would be cause and effect. You make her not look right." Alex glanced at his watch and pulled out his cell phone. He dialed Callie’s number, but she didn’t answer. "Damn it. I have to scrub in with Montgomery in fifteen minutes. Did she say anything before she left?"
"Not to me. But apparently she threatened Dr. Heron. She was livid when she came to tell me Callie was gone for the day."
Scratching the side of his head, Alex said, "Dr. Heron has been on her ass since this morning. Callie already hates her and-"
"I didn’t believe you."
Alex stuffed his phone back into his pocket. "What?"
"I didn’t believe you the day that you told me that you were interested. In her. I thought you were just trying to make me jealous."
"Well, I wasn’t."
"Are you - do you even care about her? Or is this a game to you. She's rich and she's vulnerable."
Alex stared him in the eye. "I’m in love with her. And she’s in love with me."
George lifted a hand to his chest and massaged it as if the phantom of his marriage had squeezed his heart. He swallowed hard and took a deep breath. "If you hurt her-"
"I’m not you. I don’t get any pleasure whatsoever out of seeing her cry and I don’t think of her last unless I’m falling asleep. She's always first for me and that's not something you ever did for her. I’m not you," Alex repeated. "Leave us alone. We’re happy."
"We both know that you’re a screw up." George squared his shoulders and stood a little straighter. "So, I’m gonna give you the same warning you gave me. I’m still interested and I’ll be waiting when you do fuck it all up. And you will. Because it’s what you do."
"You really do have a death wish." Alex looked down at him. "And I’m not talking about from me. Callie will kill you if you go there ... if you get anywhere near there. And I’ll kill you for trying."
Mark Sloan tapped Alex on the shoulder and said, "I need to talk to you. It's an emergency."
*~*~*~*~*~
Cam handed Callie a cup of coffee and sat beside her on the sofa. Neither had spoken at all since he had driven her to her place. Neither needed to. He felt her pain as clearly as if he had been living her life. He had woken up that morning with enough anxiety and concern that he had postponed flying home indefinitely. Silently, he reached over and pressed his knuckles against hers. He could almost hear her saying ‘wonder twins power, activate’, but he didn’t need to hear it to know that they had.
"Where’s Blake?"
"He had some errands to run," Cam said. "And he knew we needed to be alone for a while."
Callie took a deep breath. "Have you ever felt like everyone in the world was out to get you?"
"No." He took her hand. "Because I know that there’s always one person who’s not. She kinda looks a little like me."
She gave him a sad smile and laced their fingers. "That’s true."
"What happened today?"
She told him. Everything. She told him about Alex going to Webber, about their father making the donation in order to keep her duties ‘light’, and then she looked at her brother and said, "George wants us to be friends."
"Keep your friends close, but your enemies closer." He studied her face. "You don’t still have feelings for him do you?"
"Not the way I did. Not at all in any romantic way, but he’s *George*. I look at him and want to hit him or hug him. Which is nothing new because I've always toed that line of hostility or affection, but he's *George*."
"I vote for hitting."
"You’d probably win that vote." She nodded. "I almost got drunk today." She heard him take a deep breath beside her, but she didn’t stop talking. "Chief Webber implied that I have a problem with alcohol and invited me to attend AA with him. It was insulting. It made me feel like the biggest failure in the world so ... so I thought why not. You know? Why not go and drown in alcohol since people think that’s all I can do. Everyone expects it."
"I don’t."
"I keep assigning blame. I keep pointing the finger at George or at Daddy or at Sydney, but I am the mess *I* made." She ran a hand through her hair, pushing it off her face. "I’m the author of my own pain and I can’t keep denying it." She glanced at him and what she said next caused her physical pain. "Cambyses, I knew what I was doing when I drank so much. It was intentional. I tried to kill myself."
Cam’s eyes filled with tears, but he said nothing. His grip on her hand tightened a little, though. Callie saw the devastation on his face and quickly looked away. After a few minutes, she said, "I’ve never been afraid of anything. Loukas is scared of heights. Stavros is scared of clowns. You’re scared of, well, everything, and I always laughed at you all because fear is ridiculous."
She turned her head and waited for him to look at her. "I’m afraid of life, Cam. I’m afraid of what will happen tonight or tomorrow or what I’ll do when it does. I don’t trust myself anymore. I let George flip me on my ass a million times and I didn’t stop him ... even when it hurt too much to get up at all. He *destroyed* me while we were dating and I married him anyway.
"It’s like I let him take all of me and squander it until what I took back from him were fragments of who I used to be. And I can’t blame him for that, Cam, because I *knew* it. I knew I couldn’t change him, but I didn’t care enough about *me* to fight for myself." She put her other hand on top of his. "I think I’m ready to start fighting now."
"What do you mean?"
"Daddy is *not* going to remodel this place. I want it the way it is and if he doesn’t like it then he doesn’t have to visit. And Sydney Heron may be Chief Resident, but she’s not going to treat me like crap because I *was* the first choice and that matters. And Alex can’t keep treating me with kid gloves because he swore to me that he’d never do that and he is."
"How is Alex -"
"He checks my seatbelt in the car! He tries to force me to eat every couple of hours! He *agreed* with Daddy about the remodel and-"
"Callie?"
"What?"
"You authored your own pain. Remember? If he checks your seatbelt it’s because he’s afraid it slipped your mind. And if he has to *force* you to eat then it’s because you’re not. Anyone with eyes can see that you’re not. And Dad’s right about this place. It’s too dark and dangerous and *you* know that, you’re just too stubborn to admit it." He turned on the sofa and put an arm around her. "It’s not that the world is out to get you, Callie, it’s that you’re out to get yourself. You're afraid to trust your own judgment because you were wrong about George. You don’t always have to be the strongest or the most fearless ... you can lean on other people."
"I leaned on George and he let me fall."
"Well, some of us are a lot bigger than that Gremlin you married. I can hold you up and so can ‘Jock Strap’. I think he proved that at the party." He saw the expression on her face. "Yes, yes, yes. I followed you up to the roof. You know I’m a compulsive eavesdropper. I make no apologies. I liked what he had to say to you and you didn’t do half bad yourself."
"I don’t want him to smother me."
"Then make it clear," Cam replied. "But don’t mistake smothering for loving someone. I check Blake’s seatbelt. I worry about him when his meetings run too long because I know that his blood sugar can go crazy if he doesn’t eat. I interrupted the biggest deal of his life to take him lunch. He was pissed at me for two days and you know what? It didn’t faze me because when you’re in a relationship ... that’s what you do. You risk stroking the caged animal and drawing back a nub because it’s worth it to feel what you love."
"No one’s ever treated me like Alex does. I’m not used to it."
"Is it really that bad?"
She shook her head. "No. It’s actually as close to perfect as I’ve ever had."
"Are you just being a big cry baby because you jumped out of one relationship and landed right in another?"
"Is it that obvious?"
"You wouldn’t be Callie if you didn’t jump. And something tells me that Alex wouldn’t be Alex if he didn’t hold out his mitt to catch you." He kissed her head. "Don’t fear life. The good news is that we get to endure it once and the better news is that if we’re lucky someone gets us while we’re hanging around waiting to die. Do you want to be gotten, Callie?"
"By Alex? Definitely."
"The stop worrying about what happens tonight or tomorrow or next week. You said that you authored your pain, but you also author your future. Don’t put the pen down before the final act." He pulled her head against his shoulder. "And don’t think about writing that final act for a very, very long time."
"I love you."
"Who doesn’t?"
"Your ego is -"
"Only slightly smaller than yours so reclaim it and start believing that you’re all that." He squeezed her. "I love you, too, by the way."
"Wanna play Dungeons and Dragons?"
"You really want me to kick your ass?"
"Have you ever?" she asked, eyebrow raised.
"No time like the present to -"
"Try. That’s all you can do."
"Bring it out and let’s just see what I can do."
"Spoken like someone who is going to draw back a nub," Callie said, pulling the board game from a nearby trunk. "It’s gonna get ugly."
"I can hold my own."
*~*~*~*~*~
Alex sat quietly in the back seat of Mark’s car, listening to him explain everything in detail to Addison. It was almost seven thirty and he was exhausted. Webber had refused to let him leave after Mark had shared what had transpired. Addison, sensing that something had happened, had been kind enough to let him stand in her surgery, but didn’t ask him for more than that. He’s simply stood and watched and thought about the story that he was hearing for the second time now. He gripped his thigh when Mark told her about the truck that Callie almost hit and closed his eyes when the subject of speed was brought up.
"She had to have been going a hundred at one point. I was going ninety and she passed a big rig like it was on wheels."
Addison popped him on the back of the head. "Don’t ever drive that fast again!"
"Hello? I was trying to save your friend! *Our* friend."
"And she went to the liquor store?"
"She wanted to. I didn’t let her." Mark took Addy’s hand over the gear shifter. "And it means a lot that she called her brother and didn’t fight me on it. So, keep that in mind if you plan on screaming at her. I already did a good job of it."
Alex saw that Mark was looking at him in the rearview mirror and averted his eyes. He wasn’t sure what would happen when he talked to her. One thing was absolutely certain, though. All the way to his gut he knew that she was going to break things off with him. George had been so confident, so cocky about his chances with her. And she had obviously been upset enough to -
"What’s with all the construction?" Mark asked, parking beside Callie’s car.
"Her father didn’t like it here." Alex climbed out of the backseat. "He wants it to be safer for her."
"She doesn’t like people doing things like that. It pisses her off to not call the shots." Addison came around the car and put a hand on Alex's arm. "Are you okay?"
He shook his head and adjusted the strap on his duffel. "No. I’m not."
Mark watched as Alex headed down the trail and glanced at Addison. "Let’s just go. He needs to -"
"No." Addison headed down the trail behind him. "I want to make sure she’s okay."
Blake and Cam were sitting on the sofa when Alex entered the salon. Blake stood up and smiled at him, but his smile faded when he saw the other man’s face. He looked at Cam, who got to his feet slowly and said, "She’s asleep."
Alex nodded, putting his duffel on the kitchen counter. Blake walked to the sink and said, "I cooked dinner. It’s still cooking, actually. If you’ll take it out of the oven in about twenty minutes it’ll be great."
"Blake’s famous chicken parmesan." Cam smiled at Addison and Mark, who stood just off to the side of the galley. "There’s plenty if you guys want to stay. We actually need to head out. I’ve got some work that I didn’t manage to phone in today so I need to get it done."
"How is she?" Addison asked.
"Better." Cam watched Alex as he replied. "She’s okay. Whatever happened today she *gets* it. She’s finally aware of everything. Especially what she wants. Who she wants." He took a step closer to Alex and addressed him. "You should go talk to her."
"She’s asleep."
"Wake her up, Alex. Wake her up."
Alex stared at him and saw Callie’s eyes looking back, imploring him. He nodded and wordlessly headed down the hallway. She was lying with her back facing him, her hair spread on the pillow. He quietly shut the door behind him, but the clicking caused her to roll over and look at him. She sat up, Indian style, and pulled a pillow into her lap.
He walked across the room and sat down in front of her, not looking at her. "Just - say it."
"Say what?" she asked.
"End it fast because I can’t do slow. I can't breathe."
"You think I’m ending it?"
"Aren’t you? Because of what I said to the Chief?"
"I thought you would be ending it after what I did today." Callie held the pillow a little tighter. "I’m not, by the way. Ending it."
"I’m not either."
"Alex." She reached out, touching his shoulder. "Are you gonna yell at me?"
"Are you okay?"
"If I say no will that stop you from yelling at me?"
"No."
Her chin began to tremble. "Then what are you waiting for? Go ahead and do it."
"I’m not yelling." He turned and faced her, catching the tear that dropped onto her cheek. He pulled her into his arms and let his hand tangle in her hair. "But I am gonna hang onto you for a while."
Callie hugged him, tight. She breathed a sigh of relief and kissed his neck, massaging it. Her anxiety always faded as soon as he touched her and she was relieved that the current moment was no exception. Closing her eyes, she said, "I do need to tell you something."
He didn’t let her go. "Okay."
"You told me you wouldn’t use kid gloves with me while I was in the hospital. So don’t start now."
Alex eased away from her. "What do you mean?"
"I don’t need you to be the food police or to treat me like I’m breakable. I’m not. I already have a father who does that to me and -"
"Okay." Alex cut her off. "Fine. You don’t want kid gloves? You’re going to get your ass out of this bed and you’re going to come and eat dinner with me. You’re going to actually eat because if you don’t then I’ll force you."
"You’ll force me? Right." she scoffed.
"Wanna try me?" He waited and she finally shook her head. "And while the gloves are off, let me tell you that if you *ever* drive your car again the way that Mark said you did ... I’ll personally drive it into the bay and buy you a bicycle."
She gazed at him, wide eyed. No one had ever been so blunt with her. "Is that it?"
"No, that’s not it." He kissed her, his hands on her face. "If you scare me like this again I’ll cuff you to the bed and do things to you that -"
"Honey, that’s really not a threat. I *like* being cuffed to the bed."
"Stop distracting me in the middle of my rant!"
"Stop ranting," she suggested.
"If I didn’t love you so much I’d dunk your head in the toilet. I used to do it to the Goth kids in high school."
"If I didn’t love you so much I’d put Bengay in your underwear. I used to do it to the jocks in high school."
"How are we together? How?"
"Because you suck at life. No self respecting jock would know ‘Princess Bride’ forward and backward."
"No self respecting Goth would sing old standards and cry while watching ‘The Goonies’. You're as Gothic as Avril Lavigne is punk."
She burst out laughing and a second later he joined her.
In the galley, Cam smiled at Addison and Mark, who both breathed a sigh of relief. Blake scribbled out a note, took the food out of the oven, and all four of them quietly left together.
Callie’s laughter could still be heard halfway down the dock.
It sounded good.
*~*~*~*~*~
So, Callie said she's not a flier anymore ... but she FLEW in her car.
What's gonna happen?
I think Addison just might be very grateful to Mark for saving her buddy ... she just might wanna "MAKE LOVE"... mrowr.