Fic - Belonging
Title: Belonging - Part One
Author: Lady Eternal
Rating: PG-13
Pairings: Dean/Castiel, Sam/Gabriel
Word Count: 3,563 (This part)
Spoilers: To stay on the safe side, all aired episodes
Warnings: Angst, drama, romance, pr0n… These are the reasons we watch this show, except for the pr0n, which I am happy to supply. :-D
Disclaimer: The series Supernatural and its characters and settings are the property of Messires Kripke and Singer, among others. If I owned them, certain events would NEVER have happened and it would be on a premium channel so I could show the pr0n. I own little more than a tabby that gets destructive when he feels ignored, and am only playing with these worlds for my own amusement and the free entertainment of others.
Author’s Note: The much-demanded sequel to My Sacrifice and Against All Odds. Like its predecessors, this is AU as of episode 5x16. Much love to my magnificent and endlessly supportive beta, morganoconnor, and thanks to everyone else who commented asking more in this ‘verse.
Feedback is adored, so if you like the fic, please comment! And the more details the better; I love knowing what people like about my work.
Music: My Confession - Josh Groban
Savin’ Me - Nickelback
Have a Little Faith In Me - John Hiatt
Just Say Yes - Snow Patrol
Love Song - 311
Broken - Lifehouse
~ooooOOOooo~
It was too hot, almost blinding. Sam found himself being pulled back as he charged unthinking towards the blaze, his only thought to reach Dean. Gabriel’s will whip-cracked across the bond as his hands turned Sam away, forcing Sam to look at him. “Holy fire burns humans, too; remember?”
Sam’s expression immediately darkened into his sourest bitchface. “Yeah, but it won’t instantly kill me.”
“Let’s see if we can get them out of there without anybody needing skin grafts, okay?” Gabriel glanced around as Dean and Castiel appeared outside. “Where’s the car?”
“Around front,” Dean called. “Fire extinguisher ain’t big enough for this, though. You okay, Sammy?”
“Be better once we get you outta there!” Sam cast about, desperately thinking. “What about a rainstorm… you could create one, right? An illusion would still put this out?”
“Not without fucking over the weather system for half the planet.” Gabriel’s voice was grim. “No immortal screws with weather patterns, even with illusions, unless absolutely necessary; even then, it has to be set in motion months in advance to keep things balanced.”
Castiel’s eyes scanned the area, clearly searching for something. “The water table is high enough to access. We would only need a small breach in the ring to escape.”
Nodding, Gabriel’s golden eyes lost focus. Sam could feel it build like a roar in his mind: power shimmering through Gabriel’s grace, reaching into the dark earth… swelling… the size of it staggered him, dwarfed him… demon-blood highs had never been so vast…
Water rushed up from the ground as if a sponge had been squeezed, soaking the earth in a five-foot swath and extinguishing part of the ring. “Don’t have all day!” Gabriel shouted. “Let’s move this party along, shall we?”
Castiel broke into a run behind Dean, who had sprinted through the muddy earth to Sam’s side and caught his brother in a fierce bear hug. “You sure you’re okay?”
“Fine.” Sam pulled back, wanting to say a thousand things and knowing there was no time. “We gotta go. Gabriel?”
The water receded, and the roaring in the back of Sam’s mind faded with it. “Car. It’s slow, but Cas and I should be able to see him coming.”
It wasn’t until they reached the Impala and Dean had literally put the gas pedal on the floor, Sam in the passenger seat and angels in back behind their respective Winchesters, that Castiel sensed it. “Gabriel?”
“Not now, Castiel.” Gabriel purposefully didn’t look at his younger brother, his eyes scanning the blur of blue and green and brown as if he thought he might spot Lucifer out the window, while Dean broke every traffic law on the books. He knew what Cas had sensed; he could feel what had happened between Castiel and Dean, a warning pulse to other immortals that this human was claimed and under powerful protection. God-marked, they used to say… these two are god-marked twice over… we’ve all lost our minds…
“What have you done?” The question was growled out in Enochian, Cas’ blue eyes flashing in his unwillingness to let the subject drop.
“Nothing more or less than you, brother,” Gabriel snapped back, his own Enochian clipped and his golden eyes sparking. “And precisely what you asked of me. Now help me watch for Morningstar or figure out what that buzzing sound is; it’s irritating as Hell.”
* * *
“Dean, they can hear you swearing in China.”
The mild statement earned Sam a fulminating glare from his elder brother, which only got a mocking bitchface in return. “Sonuvabitch put a lojack on the Impala, Sam. Some demon lackey touched my car.”
“He puts any more umbrage in that tone and I’m gonna think he’d be less upset about a demon feeling him up.” Gabriel grinned at Sam from where he lounged against the wall of the abandoned garage/gas station, eating a peach from a nearby tree in a way that was just short of obscene. Sam couldn’t help grinning back.
Castiel was ignoring all of them, his brow furrowed pensively as he finished his examination of the Impala. “No other trackers are attached. That was the only one.”
“Good; I can take it down to parts once we get someplace livable,” Dean snarled. Confusion and hurt and guilt still roiled beneath the surface after what had been forced between he and Castiel at the house, and the Impala having a tracking beacon left by Crowley after their last meeting was adding a healthy dose of irrational fury to an already bad mix. “Make sure they didn’t do anything else to it.”
Sam shook his head. He recognized what was obviously an attempt on Dean’s part to find an excuse to not talk about what had happened. Dean hated ‘chick flick moments’. “Dean, we’d have noticed it by now if they had. You know this car better than anyone.”
“Not taking chances,” Dean insisted, his eyes hard as agates and his jaw set in a stubborn line. “Not with the Apocalypse still going down.”
“Suits me just fine.” Gabriel finished his peach and tossed the pit into the air. It vanished where it peaked, and Sam felt the ripple that told him Gabriel had planted it in the orchard. “Game’s changed entirely, after all; need to get everybody up to speed on the new rules.”
Dean was about to snarl another rejoinder when Cas’ hand found his left shoulder. All the fight seemed to drain out of Dean in that moment, warm languor stealing over his senses. It didn’t matter. It was too much to hope that Gabriel didn’t know just by looking at them. Sam would have to be told, if Gabriel hadn’t told him already. He would need Sam’s help to research ways to undo the binding anyway… and Bobby’s, too… if Bobby didn’t just shoot Dean and put him out of his misery.
He didn’t want to be miserable. No one else in his life had ever come close to meaning what Cas meant to him. They’d started off completely wrong; Hell, Dean had shot Castiel multiple times and stabbed him in the shoulder when they’d first met. Cas had never held it against him, never brought it up, as if the fact that Dean had thanked Cas for resurrecting him by trying to kill the angel wasn’t worth discussing. And over time…
Over time, so slowly it couldn’t possibly have had a single beginning point, Dean had fallen in love with an Angel of the Lord.
Dean Winchester had done some impressively stupid things over the course of his life. He was a hunter of supernatural creatures, after all, and that required a certain lack of self-preservatory instinct. But falling in love with a creature that literally transcended him was beyond the pale in his book, and that wasn’t even counting the fact that said creature was currently inhabiting the body of a man with a wife and daughter in Illinois.
He wasn’t dumb enough to think that this bond Lucifer had forced Castiel to complete was something he could have forever. He wasn’t about to be that stupid.
Cas could feel every emotion battering Dean’s heart to pieces inside his chest, longed to soothe them. He wasn’t sure he could. The balm of grace and love he kept pouring through their bond at Dean was only staving it off; Dean was fighting it every inch of the way, once again reacting as though he didn’t deserve healing, or love. Didn’t deserve to be saved from his own darkness. We need to go somewhere safe… Dean and I have much to work out… and I must explain to him that the true nature of the bond makes it impossible to force such a thing on us. “Gabriel, do you know where Bobby Singer’s home is?”
Sam, unthinking, showed Gabriel through their link, images springing to mind in an instant. Gabriel’s surprise only registered on Sam, not showing on his face but flickering across the bond they shared. “Yeah. No problem.” He snapped his fingers.
* * *
Bobby eyed the Trickster who had walked into the house with the Winchester boys with barely veiled suspicion. “You idjits wanna explain why a Trickster we killed three years ago is standin’ in my living room eatin’ a candy bar like he belongs here?”
Dean tried not to visibly wince at Bobby’s tone. He’d known this conversation wouldn’t be easy. Sam was immediately wearing his placating face. “He’s not a Trickster… not really. He’s an angel.”
“An angel?” Bobby echoed, one eyebrow lifting clear up under the band of his customary cap. “Masquerading as a Trickster?”
“Archangel, actually.” Gabriel finished his candy bar, taking in the varied occult paraphernalia in Bobby’s living room. “These two morons blew my cover months ago.”
“Cover?” The other eyebrow shot up.
Gabriel spared Bobby a sardonic glance. “We’re gonna be at this all day if you keep repeating everything we say.”
Sam’s hand shot up as Bobby bristled, gesturing for Bobby to stay calm. “It’s complicated, Bobby.”
“World ain’t ended yet,” Bobby replied testily, clearly indicating they would make time and explain things… or else.
Sensing it, Gabriel unconsciously stepped closer to Sam, his grace rising at the implication of a threat to his mate. Sam swung around when Bobby’s eyes went wide; Gabriel’s face was bleak, eyes bright and blazing. “Gabriel… it’s fine. You and Cas should go ward the house… just in case.”
For a moment, Gabriel’s attention shifted and he stared down at Sam, measuring the surety in those hazel eyes against the possibility of harm. Sam could feel the struggle, knew Gabriel wouldn’t leave unless Sam was safe… Gathering up his memories, Sam played back every time Bobby’d made them bunk down for a decent meal and a safe night’s sleep instead of hitting the road again. Every heart-to-heart he’d been there to give in their father’s place. Every time he saved their skins, including the image of Bobby taking on the chainsaw killer that had nearly cut Sam into fish bait during their first encounter with Gabriel. It’s okay, mate… Gabriel… I’ll be safe. I promise.
A handful of heartbeats passed, and then Gabriel’s grace relaxed. “C’mon, bro… let’s give the kids a minute to talk.”
Flashing Dean a glance, Castiel tried to bury his hurt when Dean refused to meet his eyes, and he followed Gabriel out without a word. Dean had to force himself to breathe; Cas’ gaze had burned on his skin, and he wasn’t looking forward to the conversation he was about to have. “How’d you do that, Sam?”
“Do what?” Sam knew innocence probably wouldn’t play, but he could try.
“Make the archangel stop looking like he was gonna smite Bobby.”
For a moment, Sam considered prevaricating. It wasn’t a conversation he knew how to have with anyone, and he was sure Dean would be furious. But the glimpse he’d caught of Dean’s mind… of his heart, raw and wounded and bleeding… secrets were the last thing they needed between them. And sooner or later, it would out anyway. “Um… yeah… okay, well… there’s something I need to tell you guys… and you’re probably not gonna like it, or at least you’ll think I’m crazy, but I’m glad it happened, and it’s a good thing, really…”
“Fuck, Sammy,” Dean growled. “Spit it out before you give yourself an aneurysm.”
“GabrielandIaremated.”
The words came out so fast, Sam wasn’t sure Dean and Bobby had caught them. He held Dean’s gaze in their wake, unashamed; this was nothing like Ruby, and he needed to see Dean’s reaction.
Viridian eyes went wide, huge, blind with a hundred emotive flickers all at once. Color drained from his skin, leaving Dean almost ashen, and his mouth dropped open in a silent ‘o’ of dismay. And then, just as quickly as it had opened up in blatant shock, Dean’s entire face slammed shut. Only his eyes remained blind blue-green windows of tangled emotions Sam didn’t want to name, his Adam’s apple bobbing as Dean fought to breathe through his nose, his lips sealed so tightly they were edged white.
Bobby found his voice first. “Son… are you… do you mean what I think you mean?”
Sam couldn’t, wouldn’t look away from Dean. He wasn’t ashamed of this. This wasn’t the same as Ruby. Ruby had been wrong; in the marrow of his bones, he’d known it, but the whole world had been wrong and Sam hadn’t cared. But Gabriel… being mated to Gabriel was right in all the ways Ruby hadn’t been, and he knew it just as deeply… deeper… in his blood, his heart, his soul. “I don’t know what you think it means, Bobby. I only know that he’s mine and I’m his, and Lucifer can’t use me as a vessel because of it.”
That got a blink out of Dean, a crack in the wall that had slammed down between them. Sam was desperate to know what Dean was thinking, needed to know that this was going to be okay. After clawing their way back to trust, to respect, this couldn’t tear them apart again. Sam wouldn’t allow it.
Dean was trying not to visibly react again, clamping down on everything as Lucifer’s words bubbled up from the haze over his memory; only a few hours had passed, though it felt like years ago. “And if you complete the bond, Michael can never claim him… Decide quickly, brother… will you damn yourself? Or the world?”
Did Gabriel do to Sam what Cas did to me? What the Hell’s the point? If Lucifer wanted Cas and I bound… did he plan this with Gabriel? Wouldn’t put it past the bastard… either of ‘em…
“Dean?” Sam’s tone was careful, searching, as if he was prodding a bear to see if it was alive. “Dean, this is a good thing… Gabriel can help us; he wants to help us. And if Lucifer can’t use me-”
“How do you know?” Dean rasped, his throat tight as a vice on the words.
Sam blinked. “What?”
“How do you know the bonding or mating or whatever the Hell you call it is gonna keep the devil from using you as a prom dress?”
“Gabriel told me when he-”
Dean snorted, a sarcastic ‘I shoulda known’ smile bitterly twisting his lips. “And you believe him? After all the crap he’s pulled?”
“He’s telling the truth, Dean.” Sam felt an edge of panic, tamping it down in case Gabriel noticed. The idea that Dean would think it was a trick had never occurred to him.
“Yeah, ‘cause he’s got a track record of doin’ that when he’s not trapped in a ring of holy fire.” Dean snorted again. “Dammit, Sam: you really gonna fall for his game, after everything that’s happened? He hasn’t changed; he’s still the same dickhead that iced me better’n a hundred times just so he could fuck with your head, then stuck us in his little TV Land game because… wait for it… he wants us to say ‘yes’. Why the fuck would he offer to cockblock Lucifer now? Think about it, Sam; he’s got some nasty little twist planned-”
“He doesn’t!” Sam flared. “Goddamnit, Dean, I know he’s telling the truth about this. I’ve always known when he’s telling the truth-”
“Like you knew with Ruby, right?”
Sam recoiled as if struck, eyes narrowing, temper rising dangerously. He hadn’t expected Dean to throw Ruby back in his face. Not after everything they’d been through. A soft rush of reassurance came through the bond; Gabriel was listening, after all. Listening and lending support, laced with a touch of surprised gratitude at Sam’s defense. It reminded Sam of all the reasons why, after everything, he was still drawn to Gabriel powerfully enough to accept him as a mate.
“This isn’t the same as Ruby,” Sam managed, his voice cold and even and throbbing with restraint. “Not even close, Dean. Gabriel didn’t want any of this to happen in the first place. He left Heaven because he couldn’t choose between his brothers. TV Land was because he couldn’t see any way to stop it. But something changed his mind and he’s here, now, and I don’t doubt for a second that he’s being honest with me.”
“What?” It was the first word Bobby had even tried to speak since the fraternal altercation had begun in earnest. “What changed his mind?”
“I don’t know,” Sam replied honestly. “We haven’t had a chance to talk. This thing’s only a few hours old; there hasn’t been time-”
“Which means there’s a chance it can still be broken.” Dean’s eyes were brighter now, almost burning.
Sam looked at Dean in shock. “I… I don’t know. Maybe… but-”
Dean looked to Bobby, hope rising. They could research this without needing to talk about what had happened between he and Cas, and Sam had reminded him how new this was. Their best chance was now, before it got too strong, and he could keep Sam safe… they could break this thing before it got worse and he could keep Sammy from falling victim to whatever ploy Lucifer was trying to pull here… Gabriel had wanted them to say yes, and Lucifer’s reason for forcing Cas to complete the bond couldn’t be as simple as he’d stated. There had to be a catch; there was always a catch with angels… even Cas, until he’d rebelled, had played the game of not telling the whole story. “Any binding can be unbound, right? ‘Specially if it’s new?”
“Most, yeah,” Bobby replied cautiously. “But somethin’ like this… prob’ly ain’t been seen since before the Flood, Dean. I wouldn’t have the first idea how to start.”
“But we can try.” Dean felt an edge of desperation, the chance to undo what had been forced on Cas fluttering at his fingertips, just out of reach… “We can break it before it gets too strong, fix this before it’s too late…”
“Too late for what, Dean?” Sam fiercely tamped down on his temper. He could see the raw edges around Dean’s expression. Something wasn’t right, but he didn’t dare try to push and use the bond to find out. He wasn’t used to it yet, as comfortable and instinctive as it felt. And it would only freak Dean out more. “I don’t want to break it. This is a huge advantage for us… for the world… and I… I want this, Dean. It feels right with him. For the first time in my life, it actually feels right with someone… even Jess never felt like this…”
The aching, puppy dog eyes almost broke Dean in two. Sam had shown a weird connection to the Trickster… to Gabriel… back in Wellington. Dean wasn’t blind; it only stood to reason that something happened at Mystery Spot that Sam wouldn’t talk about. But Dean couldn’t forget Lucifer wearing Sam in 2014, couldn’t forget the mockery of Sam’s puppy-dog expression the angel had worn.
Everything was hurtling towards that moment, and Dean was gripping Sam with all of his strength. He couldn’t let go… he was rescuing Sam from the fire all over again, and he couldn’t let go… if he let go, Sammy was gonna die…
Having sensed Dean’s distress, ignoring Dean’s discomfort with the bond, Cas reappeared. “Dean…?”
Cas’ voice broke through the haze, and Dean took in a sharp breath. “Thought you were warding the place,” he snapped, edgy and defensive.
“The wards are in place; Gabriel is closing the perimeter of the salvage yard,” Cas replied. “You are upset.”
“You’re damned right I am!” Dean exploded, rounding on Cas as he came to his feet. “Did you know what that sonuvabitch did to Sam?”
“I sensed the bond, yes.” Cas met Dean’s fury calmly, unflinching as he always was. Dean’s fury was nothing in comparison to the rage of immortals, and Cas knew that more often than not, Dean vented it at him because he wasn’t intimidated by it, whether it was actually caused by him or not. “Gabriel has explained to me why he offered himself to Sam as a mate; the intent is genuine.”
“So you believe him, too,” Dean sneered. “He’s even got you snowed with this crap?”
Castiel’s eyes narrowed in anger. Dean was coming dangerously close to insulting their own connection, and that Castiel would not abide. “He is not lying about the effect of the bond, Dean,” he said, carefully controlling his tone.
For one long, tense moment, Dean stared at Cas, willing him to say nothing, silently begging him not to say anything about their own bond, no older than Sam and Gabriel’s. Cas merely gazed back, concealing how much that hurt, concealing how much all of this wrenched at him… after everything he had done for Dean…
The barest edge leaked through, and Dean couldn’t help flinching as it flared across the bond they now shared like a festering wound. Looking away from Cas, Dean fixed his gaze on Sam. “I’m gonna go work on the car. You’re gonna pull your head out of your ass, and we’re gonna figure out a way to undo it. I don’t trust the reasons behind it, and if you can’t figure out why, then we’re in deeper shit than I thought.” Without waiting for an answer, Dean stalked outside.
Go To Part Two.
Author: Lady Eternal
Rating: PG-13
Pairings: Dean/Castiel, Sam/Gabriel
Word Count: 3,563 (This part)
Spoilers: To stay on the safe side, all aired episodes
Warnings: Angst, drama, romance, pr0n… These are the reasons we watch this show, except for the pr0n, which I am happy to supply. :-D
Disclaimer: The series Supernatural and its characters and settings are the property of Messires Kripke and Singer, among others. If I owned them, certain events would NEVER have happened and it would be on a premium channel so I could show the pr0n. I own little more than a tabby that gets destructive when he feels ignored, and am only playing with these worlds for my own amusement and the free entertainment of others.
Author’s Note: The much-demanded sequel to My Sacrifice and Against All Odds. Like its predecessors, this is AU as of episode 5x16. Much love to my magnificent and endlessly supportive beta, morganoconnor, and thanks to everyone else who commented asking more in this ‘verse.
Feedback is adored, so if you like the fic, please comment! And the more details the better; I love knowing what people like about my work.
Music: My Confession - Josh Groban
Savin’ Me - Nickelback
Have a Little Faith In Me - John Hiatt
Just Say Yes - Snow Patrol
Love Song - 311
Broken - Lifehouse
~ooooOOOooo~
It was too hot, almost blinding. Sam found himself being pulled back as he charged unthinking towards the blaze, his only thought to reach Dean. Gabriel’s will whip-cracked across the bond as his hands turned Sam away, forcing Sam to look at him. “Holy fire burns humans, too; remember?”
Sam’s expression immediately darkened into his sourest bitchface. “Yeah, but it won’t instantly kill me.”
“Let’s see if we can get them out of there without anybody needing skin grafts, okay?” Gabriel glanced around as Dean and Castiel appeared outside. “Where’s the car?”
“Around front,” Dean called. “Fire extinguisher ain’t big enough for this, though. You okay, Sammy?”
“Be better once we get you outta there!” Sam cast about, desperately thinking. “What about a rainstorm… you could create one, right? An illusion would still put this out?”
“Not without fucking over the weather system for half the planet.” Gabriel’s voice was grim. “No immortal screws with weather patterns, even with illusions, unless absolutely necessary; even then, it has to be set in motion months in advance to keep things balanced.”
Castiel’s eyes scanned the area, clearly searching for something. “The water table is high enough to access. We would only need a small breach in the ring to escape.”
Nodding, Gabriel’s golden eyes lost focus. Sam could feel it build like a roar in his mind: power shimmering through Gabriel’s grace, reaching into the dark earth… swelling… the size of it staggered him, dwarfed him… demon-blood highs had never been so vast…
Water rushed up from the ground as if a sponge had been squeezed, soaking the earth in a five-foot swath and extinguishing part of the ring. “Don’t have all day!” Gabriel shouted. “Let’s move this party along, shall we?”
Castiel broke into a run behind Dean, who had sprinted through the muddy earth to Sam’s side and caught his brother in a fierce bear hug. “You sure you’re okay?”
“Fine.” Sam pulled back, wanting to say a thousand things and knowing there was no time. “We gotta go. Gabriel?”
The water receded, and the roaring in the back of Sam’s mind faded with it. “Car. It’s slow, but Cas and I should be able to see him coming.”
It wasn’t until they reached the Impala and Dean had literally put the gas pedal on the floor, Sam in the passenger seat and angels in back behind their respective Winchesters, that Castiel sensed it. “Gabriel?”
“Not now, Castiel.” Gabriel purposefully didn’t look at his younger brother, his eyes scanning the blur of blue and green and brown as if he thought he might spot Lucifer out the window, while Dean broke every traffic law on the books. He knew what Cas had sensed; he could feel what had happened between Castiel and Dean, a warning pulse to other immortals that this human was claimed and under powerful protection. God-marked, they used to say… these two are god-marked twice over… we’ve all lost our minds…
“What have you done?” The question was growled out in Enochian, Cas’ blue eyes flashing in his unwillingness to let the subject drop.
“Nothing more or less than you, brother,” Gabriel snapped back, his own Enochian clipped and his golden eyes sparking. “And precisely what you asked of me. Now help me watch for Morningstar or figure out what that buzzing sound is; it’s irritating as Hell.”
* * *
“Dean, they can hear you swearing in China.”
The mild statement earned Sam a fulminating glare from his elder brother, which only got a mocking bitchface in return. “Sonuvabitch put a lojack on the Impala, Sam. Some demon lackey touched my car.”
“He puts any more umbrage in that tone and I’m gonna think he’d be less upset about a demon feeling him up.” Gabriel grinned at Sam from where he lounged against the wall of the abandoned garage/gas station, eating a peach from a nearby tree in a way that was just short of obscene. Sam couldn’t help grinning back.
Castiel was ignoring all of them, his brow furrowed pensively as he finished his examination of the Impala. “No other trackers are attached. That was the only one.”
“Good; I can take it down to parts once we get someplace livable,” Dean snarled. Confusion and hurt and guilt still roiled beneath the surface after what had been forced between he and Castiel at the house, and the Impala having a tracking beacon left by Crowley after their last meeting was adding a healthy dose of irrational fury to an already bad mix. “Make sure they didn’t do anything else to it.”
Sam shook his head. He recognized what was obviously an attempt on Dean’s part to find an excuse to not talk about what had happened. Dean hated ‘chick flick moments’. “Dean, we’d have noticed it by now if they had. You know this car better than anyone.”
“Not taking chances,” Dean insisted, his eyes hard as agates and his jaw set in a stubborn line. “Not with the Apocalypse still going down.”
“Suits me just fine.” Gabriel finished his peach and tossed the pit into the air. It vanished where it peaked, and Sam felt the ripple that told him Gabriel had planted it in the orchard. “Game’s changed entirely, after all; need to get everybody up to speed on the new rules.”
Dean was about to snarl another rejoinder when Cas’ hand found his left shoulder. All the fight seemed to drain out of Dean in that moment, warm languor stealing over his senses. It didn’t matter. It was too much to hope that Gabriel didn’t know just by looking at them. Sam would have to be told, if Gabriel hadn’t told him already. He would need Sam’s help to research ways to undo the binding anyway… and Bobby’s, too… if Bobby didn’t just shoot Dean and put him out of his misery.
He didn’t want to be miserable. No one else in his life had ever come close to meaning what Cas meant to him. They’d started off completely wrong; Hell, Dean had shot Castiel multiple times and stabbed him in the shoulder when they’d first met. Cas had never held it against him, never brought it up, as if the fact that Dean had thanked Cas for resurrecting him by trying to kill the angel wasn’t worth discussing. And over time…
Over time, so slowly it couldn’t possibly have had a single beginning point, Dean had fallen in love with an Angel of the Lord.
Dean Winchester had done some impressively stupid things over the course of his life. He was a hunter of supernatural creatures, after all, and that required a certain lack of self-preservatory instinct. But falling in love with a creature that literally transcended him was beyond the pale in his book, and that wasn’t even counting the fact that said creature was currently inhabiting the body of a man with a wife and daughter in Illinois.
He wasn’t dumb enough to think that this bond Lucifer had forced Castiel to complete was something he could have forever. He wasn’t about to be that stupid.
Cas could feel every emotion battering Dean’s heart to pieces inside his chest, longed to soothe them. He wasn’t sure he could. The balm of grace and love he kept pouring through their bond at Dean was only staving it off; Dean was fighting it every inch of the way, once again reacting as though he didn’t deserve healing, or love. Didn’t deserve to be saved from his own darkness. We need to go somewhere safe… Dean and I have much to work out… and I must explain to him that the true nature of the bond makes it impossible to force such a thing on us. “Gabriel, do you know where Bobby Singer’s home is?”
Sam, unthinking, showed Gabriel through their link, images springing to mind in an instant. Gabriel’s surprise only registered on Sam, not showing on his face but flickering across the bond they shared. “Yeah. No problem.” He snapped his fingers.
* * *
Bobby eyed the Trickster who had walked into the house with the Winchester boys with barely veiled suspicion. “You idjits wanna explain why a Trickster we killed three years ago is standin’ in my living room eatin’ a candy bar like he belongs here?”
Dean tried not to visibly wince at Bobby’s tone. He’d known this conversation wouldn’t be easy. Sam was immediately wearing his placating face. “He’s not a Trickster… not really. He’s an angel.”
“An angel?” Bobby echoed, one eyebrow lifting clear up under the band of his customary cap. “Masquerading as a Trickster?”
“Archangel, actually.” Gabriel finished his candy bar, taking in the varied occult paraphernalia in Bobby’s living room. “These two morons blew my cover months ago.”
“Cover?” The other eyebrow shot up.
Gabriel spared Bobby a sardonic glance. “We’re gonna be at this all day if you keep repeating everything we say.”
Sam’s hand shot up as Bobby bristled, gesturing for Bobby to stay calm. “It’s complicated, Bobby.”
“World ain’t ended yet,” Bobby replied testily, clearly indicating they would make time and explain things… or else.
Sensing it, Gabriel unconsciously stepped closer to Sam, his grace rising at the implication of a threat to his mate. Sam swung around when Bobby’s eyes went wide; Gabriel’s face was bleak, eyes bright and blazing. “Gabriel… it’s fine. You and Cas should go ward the house… just in case.”
For a moment, Gabriel’s attention shifted and he stared down at Sam, measuring the surety in those hazel eyes against the possibility of harm. Sam could feel the struggle, knew Gabriel wouldn’t leave unless Sam was safe… Gathering up his memories, Sam played back every time Bobby’d made them bunk down for a decent meal and a safe night’s sleep instead of hitting the road again. Every heart-to-heart he’d been there to give in their father’s place. Every time he saved their skins, including the image of Bobby taking on the chainsaw killer that had nearly cut Sam into fish bait during their first encounter with Gabriel. It’s okay, mate… Gabriel… I’ll be safe. I promise.
A handful of heartbeats passed, and then Gabriel’s grace relaxed. “C’mon, bro… let’s give the kids a minute to talk.”
Flashing Dean a glance, Castiel tried to bury his hurt when Dean refused to meet his eyes, and he followed Gabriel out without a word. Dean had to force himself to breathe; Cas’ gaze had burned on his skin, and he wasn’t looking forward to the conversation he was about to have. “How’d you do that, Sam?”
“Do what?” Sam knew innocence probably wouldn’t play, but he could try.
“Make the archangel stop looking like he was gonna smite Bobby.”
For a moment, Sam considered prevaricating. It wasn’t a conversation he knew how to have with anyone, and he was sure Dean would be furious. But the glimpse he’d caught of Dean’s mind… of his heart, raw and wounded and bleeding… secrets were the last thing they needed between them. And sooner or later, it would out anyway. “Um… yeah… okay, well… there’s something I need to tell you guys… and you’re probably not gonna like it, or at least you’ll think I’m crazy, but I’m glad it happened, and it’s a good thing, really…”
“Fuck, Sammy,” Dean growled. “Spit it out before you give yourself an aneurysm.”
“GabrielandIaremated.”
The words came out so fast, Sam wasn’t sure Dean and Bobby had caught them. He held Dean’s gaze in their wake, unashamed; this was nothing like Ruby, and he needed to see Dean’s reaction.
Viridian eyes went wide, huge, blind with a hundred emotive flickers all at once. Color drained from his skin, leaving Dean almost ashen, and his mouth dropped open in a silent ‘o’ of dismay. And then, just as quickly as it had opened up in blatant shock, Dean’s entire face slammed shut. Only his eyes remained blind blue-green windows of tangled emotions Sam didn’t want to name, his Adam’s apple bobbing as Dean fought to breathe through his nose, his lips sealed so tightly they were edged white.
Bobby found his voice first. “Son… are you… do you mean what I think you mean?”
Sam couldn’t, wouldn’t look away from Dean. He wasn’t ashamed of this. This wasn’t the same as Ruby. Ruby had been wrong; in the marrow of his bones, he’d known it, but the whole world had been wrong and Sam hadn’t cared. But Gabriel… being mated to Gabriel was right in all the ways Ruby hadn’t been, and he knew it just as deeply… deeper… in his blood, his heart, his soul. “I don’t know what you think it means, Bobby. I only know that he’s mine and I’m his, and Lucifer can’t use me as a vessel because of it.”
That got a blink out of Dean, a crack in the wall that had slammed down between them. Sam was desperate to know what Dean was thinking, needed to know that this was going to be okay. After clawing their way back to trust, to respect, this couldn’t tear them apart again. Sam wouldn’t allow it.
Dean was trying not to visibly react again, clamping down on everything as Lucifer’s words bubbled up from the haze over his memory; only a few hours had passed, though it felt like years ago. “And if you complete the bond, Michael can never claim him… Decide quickly, brother… will you damn yourself? Or the world?”
Did Gabriel do to Sam what Cas did to me? What the Hell’s the point? If Lucifer wanted Cas and I bound… did he plan this with Gabriel? Wouldn’t put it past the bastard… either of ‘em…
“Dean?” Sam’s tone was careful, searching, as if he was prodding a bear to see if it was alive. “Dean, this is a good thing… Gabriel can help us; he wants to help us. And if Lucifer can’t use me-”
“How do you know?” Dean rasped, his throat tight as a vice on the words.
Sam blinked. “What?”
“How do you know the bonding or mating or whatever the Hell you call it is gonna keep the devil from using you as a prom dress?”
“Gabriel told me when he-”
Dean snorted, a sarcastic ‘I shoulda known’ smile bitterly twisting his lips. “And you believe him? After all the crap he’s pulled?”
“He’s telling the truth, Dean.” Sam felt an edge of panic, tamping it down in case Gabriel noticed. The idea that Dean would think it was a trick had never occurred to him.
“Yeah, ‘cause he’s got a track record of doin’ that when he’s not trapped in a ring of holy fire.” Dean snorted again. “Dammit, Sam: you really gonna fall for his game, after everything that’s happened? He hasn’t changed; he’s still the same dickhead that iced me better’n a hundred times just so he could fuck with your head, then stuck us in his little TV Land game because… wait for it… he wants us to say ‘yes’. Why the fuck would he offer to cockblock Lucifer now? Think about it, Sam; he’s got some nasty little twist planned-”
“He doesn’t!” Sam flared. “Goddamnit, Dean, I know he’s telling the truth about this. I’ve always known when he’s telling the truth-”
“Like you knew with Ruby, right?”
Sam recoiled as if struck, eyes narrowing, temper rising dangerously. He hadn’t expected Dean to throw Ruby back in his face. Not after everything they’d been through. A soft rush of reassurance came through the bond; Gabriel was listening, after all. Listening and lending support, laced with a touch of surprised gratitude at Sam’s defense. It reminded Sam of all the reasons why, after everything, he was still drawn to Gabriel powerfully enough to accept him as a mate.
“This isn’t the same as Ruby,” Sam managed, his voice cold and even and throbbing with restraint. “Not even close, Dean. Gabriel didn’t want any of this to happen in the first place. He left Heaven because he couldn’t choose between his brothers. TV Land was because he couldn’t see any way to stop it. But something changed his mind and he’s here, now, and I don’t doubt for a second that he’s being honest with me.”
“What?” It was the first word Bobby had even tried to speak since the fraternal altercation had begun in earnest. “What changed his mind?”
“I don’t know,” Sam replied honestly. “We haven’t had a chance to talk. This thing’s only a few hours old; there hasn’t been time-”
“Which means there’s a chance it can still be broken.” Dean’s eyes were brighter now, almost burning.
Sam looked at Dean in shock. “I… I don’t know. Maybe… but-”
Dean looked to Bobby, hope rising. They could research this without needing to talk about what had happened between he and Cas, and Sam had reminded him how new this was. Their best chance was now, before it got too strong, and he could keep Sam safe… they could break this thing before it got worse and he could keep Sammy from falling victim to whatever ploy Lucifer was trying to pull here… Gabriel had wanted them to say yes, and Lucifer’s reason for forcing Cas to complete the bond couldn’t be as simple as he’d stated. There had to be a catch; there was always a catch with angels… even Cas, until he’d rebelled, had played the game of not telling the whole story. “Any binding can be unbound, right? ‘Specially if it’s new?”
“Most, yeah,” Bobby replied cautiously. “But somethin’ like this… prob’ly ain’t been seen since before the Flood, Dean. I wouldn’t have the first idea how to start.”
“But we can try.” Dean felt an edge of desperation, the chance to undo what had been forced on Cas fluttering at his fingertips, just out of reach… “We can break it before it gets too strong, fix this before it’s too late…”
“Too late for what, Dean?” Sam fiercely tamped down on his temper. He could see the raw edges around Dean’s expression. Something wasn’t right, but he didn’t dare try to push and use the bond to find out. He wasn’t used to it yet, as comfortable and instinctive as it felt. And it would only freak Dean out more. “I don’t want to break it. This is a huge advantage for us… for the world… and I… I want this, Dean. It feels right with him. For the first time in my life, it actually feels right with someone… even Jess never felt like this…”
The aching, puppy dog eyes almost broke Dean in two. Sam had shown a weird connection to the Trickster… to Gabriel… back in Wellington. Dean wasn’t blind; it only stood to reason that something happened at Mystery Spot that Sam wouldn’t talk about. But Dean couldn’t forget Lucifer wearing Sam in 2014, couldn’t forget the mockery of Sam’s puppy-dog expression the angel had worn.
Everything was hurtling towards that moment, and Dean was gripping Sam with all of his strength. He couldn’t let go… he was rescuing Sam from the fire all over again, and he couldn’t let go… if he let go, Sammy was gonna die…
Having sensed Dean’s distress, ignoring Dean’s discomfort with the bond, Cas reappeared. “Dean…?”
Cas’ voice broke through the haze, and Dean took in a sharp breath. “Thought you were warding the place,” he snapped, edgy and defensive.
“The wards are in place; Gabriel is closing the perimeter of the salvage yard,” Cas replied. “You are upset.”
“You’re damned right I am!” Dean exploded, rounding on Cas as he came to his feet. “Did you know what that sonuvabitch did to Sam?”
“I sensed the bond, yes.” Cas met Dean’s fury calmly, unflinching as he always was. Dean’s fury was nothing in comparison to the rage of immortals, and Cas knew that more often than not, Dean vented it at him because he wasn’t intimidated by it, whether it was actually caused by him or not. “Gabriel has explained to me why he offered himself to Sam as a mate; the intent is genuine.”
“So you believe him, too,” Dean sneered. “He’s even got you snowed with this crap?”
Castiel’s eyes narrowed in anger. Dean was coming dangerously close to insulting their own connection, and that Castiel would not abide. “He is not lying about the effect of the bond, Dean,” he said, carefully controlling his tone.
For one long, tense moment, Dean stared at Cas, willing him to say nothing, silently begging him not to say anything about their own bond, no older than Sam and Gabriel’s. Cas merely gazed back, concealing how much that hurt, concealing how much all of this wrenched at him… after everything he had done for Dean…
The barest edge leaked through, and Dean couldn’t help flinching as it flared across the bond they now shared like a festering wound. Looking away from Cas, Dean fixed his gaze on Sam. “I’m gonna go work on the car. You’re gonna pull your head out of your ass, and we’re gonna figure out a way to undo it. I don’t trust the reasons behind it, and if you can’t figure out why, then we’re in deeper shit than I thought.” Without waiting for an answer, Dean stalked outside.
Go To Part Two.