A mini-update ( Read more... )

I guess I am basically posting these here for sameasiteverwas as I think everyone still here is already on my facebook feed. But maybe not.


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Suddenly, a bunch of people are back on lj, posting. Like, a half dozen people from my friends list. I'd say it's nice but most are posting because they're in the midst of a crisis. Which is I guess the only time I'm ever posting, too. Except now. Now I'm just boring. Or I'm more aware that I'm boring.

i have a long post i need to make, because sydelbow was here and we went camping with a big group of my friends and there was drama (not between us!) and then my birthday happened in there and other things that need to be remembered, but right now i'm pmsing and tired and probably not in the best space to do it. but i will. soon. hopefully ( Read more... )

fuck I miss my dog. prior to this, the longest I'd gone without seeing him was 10 days. he died 15 days ago. it was bad, and then it was ok, and them pms hit AND it's the longest I've gone without him and I'm just a mess again. I never realized that he was ALWAYS on my mind, that every decision I made was run through the "how does this affect blue ( Read more... )

things are... better. not great. not even good. but better. i've tracked down all of the photos and videos i have of him from throughout the years (less than i thought but still more than a few) and put copies into one folder. i think that helped, because i was able to go through years and years of really great and funny memories. mentally ( Read more... )

grief is such an odd thing. the thought of trying to speak and interact with anyone, or anything (sorry cat) is making me sick to my stomach. can't leave the house, can barely get out of bed and that's just to move over to the couch and try and get lost in mindless tv. conversely, the isolation is killing me. the problem, I suppose, is that ( Read more... )

we had to put blue down today. yesterday he stopped getting up and walking around, not even to drink or pee. they did X-rays and found two very large masses on/near his spleen which looked to be bleeding internally, making use of his legs almost impossible. yesterday was the first day ever that he didn't wag his tail once, or nuzzle me for pets, or ( Read more... )

my first week of being a housewife and my house is pleasantly clean. i just noticed the baseboards need cleaning and it's not stressing me because i can pretty much just do that tomorrow and the house is fine. this is a lovely outcome so far of not working. my soon-to-be redecorated kitchen will be another big-ass perk. holy hell our current ( Read more... )

holy crap I am so desperate to be out of town. we haven't been anywhere since last April, when we were in Boone. I don't deserve a vacation, as I'm unemployed as of last Friday, and we can't take one because blue is at the point now where his legs go out from under him a couple of times a day. but I want one. I probably feel that way because I no ( Read more... )