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My father passed away at around 9:00 pm. We were lucky enough to have my sister's friend's pastor over at that time to give a prayer. He fought a good fight. I wish he had had more time. It happened so fast. He was told he had cancer on August 30th.
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I can't help but think of Annie Dillard's words about how there will always be more dead people than those living. How did/do they manage it? I'm finding it hard to come to terms with death. Every time I look at my dad as he holds a breath I will him to take another and another, and yet I know there's an invisible countdown somewhere beyond our ( Read more... ) -
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Uncle left today and the house felt normal once more. There was a serenity in the stillness/silence. I know this is going to be short lived. My cousins and aunts, on my mom's side, are visiting this weekend. Next week my uncle will return accompanied with two more brothers. It's going to drain us all ( Read more... ) -
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It's my dad's birthday, or it was some hours ago. This is the last one we'll celebrate if the oncologist is correct in his prediction that without chemotherapy he has weeks to live ( Read more... ) -
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A family visit from my cousin, who brought five containers of soup from Queens, cheered up my dad a lot. He ate a little bit of the soup during the visit, but after they left he was craving fried chicken so he crawled out of bed and shuffled himself into my car and, as a family, drove down to KFC. My mom and dad sat, I ordered, sister filled the ( Read more... ) -
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Part of my brain is elsewhere processing other things. My sister tells me something, it registers, then is promptly filed into the wrong folder in my mind. I can't blame her for getting mad at me for it ( Read more... ) -
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We took a trip to the emergency room today. Why is it that doctors always try to treat the symptom not the root cause. My dad has a fractured disc in his back, maybe more than one, which causes him copious amounts of pain when he tries to move--to the point where he would crawl to the restroom. For this they gave him pain medicine and was starved ( Read more... ) -
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Told my dad to record a video to his brothers and sisters leaving any last remarks. I started to cry bringing up the subject and while trying to record. A minute into it we were both tearing up and had to stop. It's too emotional to have to face the reality that he is not going to be here for too long. I told him this was just practice and we will ( Read more... ) -
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What questions do you ask these days? The sun light fades too fast now and the seasons don't last very long anymore. It's all perception, undoubtedly. What lens do you use in viewing the world? It's not the same question.
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