if i leave the states today, will anyone even notice

if i choose to embark onto the world, walking forward, never looking back, will i end up where i began?

i want to just run...and never be found. 

i used to do hot yoga. i also used to be happy and care about things. i used to be able to love and devote myself to one person. now i'm just a hot tangled mess ( Read more... )

i'm having a rather intense existential crisis. i didn't realize it until just recently...and by recently, i mean now. this very moment. it might explain why i've been feeling sick, tired and weak. i'm about 8 days late and i keep saying "it's going to come today, i know it, i can feel it"...cramps and nausea, headaches and fatigue. classic stress ( Read more... )

the emotions i've been carrying with me lately have been overwhelming. i've spent many a night drinking or distracting myself in other ways to just drown it all out. we went to an even last night and i'm pretty sure i had an entire bottle of sparkling rose (rozay, as i like to call it) and, while i'm sure i was classy as fuck, being "best dressed" ( Read more... )

the last time i posted, i was full of emotion and had an overwhelming urge to cry. it was inexplicable and weighed so heavy in my heart. i didn't know why that was happening, why i was feeling so much and so strongly but, as i sat, i kept thinking that i would get over it. i wanted to cry but i couldn't and i didn't. when i'm out in public, i hold ( Read more... )

as i sit here, enjoying the muffled sounds of the music outside and concentrating very sheepishly on the sounds emanating from my headphones, i find that this undeniable urge to cry is overwhelming my entire being. i don't understand it, where it came from or why it hasn't left...my day started off rather well, the same way it has for weeks. waking ( Read more... )

i feel very compelled to write today and, i'm not quite sure why. i have a lot of emotions stirring inside me and, ever since i left paris, i find that it's a lot more difficult to conceal them. rather than smiling and pretending like everything is okay, my body has begun to reject me. i've been sick and tired for days, not sleeping or sleeping too ( Read more... )

Mardi:

The four hours I had spent walking the city, invigorating and inspiring as it was, simply was not enough. My second day in Paris, I decided that it would be in my best interest to wake up as early as possible and see as much as I could of the Ile de St Louis and Ile de la Cite. I had fallen in love with this part of the city the day before ( Read more... )

I feel as though chronicling my adventure in Paris would be passe but, after realizing that I may never get this opportunity again, I should absolutely make the effort to write down as many experiences as I can. I do this, not to gloat or to boast about my escapades but to put into perspective this once in a lifetime experience. I say it's "once in ( Read more... )

i'm just going to go ahead and say it. i'm beyond disappointed in what today's readers are claiming to be great works of writing. there are classics abound, new and far more exquisite stories, poems and prose circulating this grand world and all i keep hearing about is 50 shades of farce that is somehow climbing onto best seller's lists. this is ( Read more... )