Spectrum 2

[garshama]

I didn’t want to move.  I wanted to wait.  I wanted to know what was outside the little shutter doors before I opened them.  But nothing came.  Anxiety crept heavily through my limbs.  My arms, my legs, they were bruised.  Dark splotches of purple, like India ink, staining my skin.  And a small mark, a puncture, in the crook of my arm.  I was

Comments

[sporty502]

hey this is pretty good
intriging start
i liked most of your descriptions
keep writing! its off to a good start

[garshama]

Thanks for the encouragement! Much appreciated!

[shoelace009]

The dialogue isn't as bad as you said it would be. It's not even bad. It has a few moments where it doesn't flow so much and could feel a bit more natural but it's fine =].

Also, this is interest, or intriguing as the person before me said. I'm curious to know why she doesn't remember and what happened to her.

For some reason the shaking part made me thing of an earthquake.

Anyways, good start. And I love English men =].

[garshama]

Thank you so much for your feedback! Oh, I love English men, too! And we've got two of them here!

[shoelace009]

No probllem. I hope it helps!

Ha, is one of them Hugh Grant?