wellmystars

New lj. Add me.

<3

Is it really terrible that when Dr. Maitland told me I'm in danger of becoming anorexic, I felt a strange sense of accomplishment?

I like to strip off and lie down on my bed. I like to finger all around my bones, tapping on them, pressing down on them, pushing my fingers all around them and between them. I like to picture myself without my flesh, imagine my bones just covered with that thin layer of skin, the way it clothes my collar bone or my spine. Imagine how exquisite ( Read more... )

Aaaah I hate these emo posts but I cant help them. I need to get them out because I cant talk to anyone anyone anyone about it or they will think I'm crazy no they will know I'm crazy. I think I'm going psychotic. I'm an emotional wreck only without emotions because at the same time I'm feeling very apathetic and also I am high right now as well. ( Read more... )

I've had the worst day. I woke up this morning at about 1:30 and couldn't get back to sleep. My legs were aching and I was coughing constantly. I went into my mums room and asked her for a sleeping tablet but she didn't have any, so she made me a cold flannel and put it on my forehead. At around 6 am, I couldn't take it any more so I got up and ( Read more... )

So I went to the Transition Unit on Monday. Turns out Christine wasn't let out. Bentley and Richard told me on Saturday she jumped the fence and they didn't bring her back until the next day and now she is in Lock Down for good. Why do I have to miss everything ( Read more... )

I'm finding it hard settling back into the real world. I mean, I like being outside in the air but its overwhelming after spending over a week indoors. Its like being invisible and lost in a large crowd of people with no direction or meaning. Its so much simpler in hospital. Hospital isn’t a happy place and nobody likes being there, but it’s easier ( Read more... )

I woke up in a white room on hard sheets and bruises on my arm. I had no idea where I was until I remembered what had happened the previous night. I was brought in to the Bentley Adolescence Ward, a branch off a string of other hospitals on the same street. They had given me a needle and placed me in ‘Lock Down’, an area where patients go who they ( Read more... )

I just got back from hospital. The Bentley Adolescent Ward, to be exact. Its all one big blur and I'm trying to grasp it all and believe that it really happened.

Later I will do a longer post and talk about it more.

In December me, mum, John and Alex are going to Bali. I can't wait. I went to Bali around three years ago in year 9 and I loved it. This time it will be better though, because we know places where to go and where not to go. Like that Monkey Forrest place. That freaked me out. You couldn't hold banana's behind your back or in your bags because the ( Read more... )