After dealing with it before.. I can't do the "Oh it wont happen again" thing. I want someone who wants me for me. If they want someone else then they shouldn't have been with me in the first place.
Well that and lying.. but lying and cheating do go together. Its the 2 dealbreakers in life.
I tend towards open relationships, and have very few deal breakers, but those I have are very clear and I'm always upfront with them:
I don't care if you play around, just tell me before or immediately after so I'm prepared and don't hear it through the grapevine.
I will have Safer Sex only. It didn't used to be this way, but after a couple different scares because my "fluid bonded" partner couldn't remember to wrap his package when playing with others (as promised) well, I just figure you're gonna slip up some time, at least I know it ain't with me.
We do not change the nature of our agreements without discussion and mutual agreement.
I'm a fan of the knowing before/after thing. There are some occassions where I just don't care and my imagination will fill in the gaps, but other times I would like to be filled in. Having that in place makes it a bit easier!
And I whole heartedly agree on the agreements. My partner and I change ours frequently, but it's an "us" thing.
Being conceited: Having good self esteem is one thing, but making it sound as though it's a privilege to have your attention goes a bit too far. Your shit stinks like everyone else's, and regardless of what you may heard, sleeping with you is not one of my goals in life.
Being too forceful: You should sound interested, not desperate. Desperate implies that you're horny and I'm your last-chance bang before the night ends. Also, grabbing me too hard and aggressively will not only insure that I won't be seeing you again, but also insure a heightened probability of me breaking your arm.
Being way too loud: Personally, I'm attracted to modest, quiet, and somewhat shy guys. I have very sensitive ears, so yelling at inappropriate times or all of the time will turn me off fast. When you have no volume control, it makes me wonder what other losses of control you may have, and none of those thoughts arouse me.
Being too close: Personal space upon first meeting is very important, and I have a major quirk about being too close to or having
( ... )
The quick to a relationship thing is a deal breaker for me. It works both ways too, if I'm the one sending out marriage invites on the first date, I know something's wrong and time to take a few steps back. I think it's the, "this isn't going to work so let's just seal the deal so we're forced to work it out" thing.
infidelity, meth, non-consensual physical abuse, fucked up teeth (superficial, yeah, but gross teeth creep me out), compulsive lying, extremely incompatible taste in music and movies (I can deal with one or the other, not both), uhh, I'm sure there's more, I'm picky as hell...
I'd tack on the "Woe is me" type, a distant cousin of the self loathing type. These people think the world is out to get them and every accomplishment is never good enough. They need therapy, not a relationship.
Therapy sooooooooooooooooo doesn't work. Since most of the people get put on drugs that have stupid side affects. Its mainly supposed to "help you sort things out." It doesnt. Rather it makes you spend $100+ on someone who barely listens, gives you drugs, and tells you to see them again in two weeks to see if they need to up a dosage. Its why I don't do that crap. Drugs are bad.
And these days people dont have relationships.. they have Ho-N-Goes... which sucks.
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After dealing with it before.. I can't do the "Oh it wont happen again" thing. I want someone who wants me for me. If they want someone else then they shouldn't have been with me in the first place.
Well that and lying.. but lying and cheating do go together. Its the 2 dealbreakers in life.
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I don't care if you play around, just tell me before or immediately after so I'm prepared and don't hear it through the grapevine.
I will have Safer Sex only. It didn't used to be this way, but after a couple different scares because my "fluid bonded" partner couldn't remember to wrap his package when playing with others (as promised) well, I just figure you're gonna slip up some time, at least I know it ain't with me.
We do not change the nature of our agreements without discussion and mutual agreement.
I'm pretty flexible on the rest.
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And I whole heartedly agree on the agreements. My partner and I change ours frequently, but it's an "us" thing.
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Being too forceful: You should sound interested, not desperate. Desperate implies that you're horny and I'm your last-chance bang before the night ends. Also, grabbing me too hard and aggressively will not only insure that I won't be seeing you again, but also insure a heightened probability of me breaking your arm.
Being way too loud: Personally, I'm attracted to modest, quiet, and somewhat shy guys. I have very sensitive ears, so yelling at inappropriate times or all of the time will turn me off fast. When you have no volume control, it makes me wonder what other losses of control you may have, and none of those thoughts arouse me.
Being too close: Personal space upon first meeting is very important, and I have a major quirk about being too close to or having ( ... )
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Fairwell to that!
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As for my own specific contributions. I'd probably say poor hygiene as a whole is a deal-breaker with me.
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There are some habits that would make me cringe and that would be one of them!
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The self-hating type. "Oh, I'm just fucking you until I get into the ex-gay program at my local crutch.. err, church."
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And these days people dont have relationships.. they have Ho-N-Goes... which sucks.
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