just feels un real sometimes. i barely made it to 3 months with esme, not at all with gwen, and i seriously expected to have to exclusively pump for alice...i just thought i couldnt do it. but we are hooorah!
You should be really proud. I dont often tell people on Lj about when Rory was born, but when he was I had pretty shitty post natal depression and just couldnt feed him. I had just had an emergency C Section and felt like a shitty failure from that, so when he had difficulty BFing I was just like 'No, not doing this' and formula fed him. At the time, I was just completly detatched from everything and didnt want anyone touching me (so lactation nurses were just not allowed near my boobs, at all)
I feel really guilty about it now. I just have to think that if I had been the normal me, I would have fought to do it, but at the time I was just so detatched and miserable. That wasnt me.
Thats why Im like \o/ when I seee my friends succeed with it =D although, part of me is very jealous!
i was that way with gwen, not depression really, but things in my life were so shaky and crazy at the time, the whole surrounding times of her birth were just fucked up...i feel so bad now, wish i had bf her or at least been more "alive" when she was a tiny infant. she is such a happy girl now, but still, a few times she has asked to nurse because of seeing alice do it...and i just want to cry i feel so awful. motherhood yay. guilt!
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i barely made it to 3 months with esme, not at all with gwen, and i seriously expected to have to exclusively pump for alice...i just thought i couldnt do it.
but we are hooorah!
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I feel really guilty about it now. I just have to think that if I had been the normal me, I would have fought to do it, but at the time I was just so detatched and miserable. That wasnt me.
Thats why Im like \o/ when I seee my friends succeed with it =D although, part of me is very jealous!
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motherhood yay. guilt!
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