I'm rather put out about my famly's perception of me and I'm not sure how to take it. It's come about that they believe that part of this program that I'm being forced to go through will be medication. Their consensus seems to be that after my evaluation they will want to put me on meds for bipolar and ADD. I don't want to take it, and I don't to ( Read more... )

I find myself wondering what I'm looking for in another person. Not that I'm looking, don't force it, it'll happen. Let it roll. I'm frustrated with people who want to change me, can't keep up, are flakes, complacent. I've heard "Too intense.", "Don't look at me like that." Then I have a tendency to get bored and be all over the place, I don't make ( Read more... )

I used to be too wrapped up in the future and my career. I learned the pros and cons of that mentality the hard way. I decided to worry about the here and now everything else be damned. Couldn't do that the easy way either. From those eras in my life I learned some things about myself a couple of which are that I'm stupidly stubborn and determined ( Read more... )

What determines the merit of a desire ( Read more... )

The road to somewhere in a nowhere begins ( Read more... )

A story for which one must find a start.
True beginnings reside in soreness of heart.
Sets tone and direction, providing intrigue and such;
In what way did our projections bring on so much.

It's several months later, but finally making good on my intentions to post some of my work. I wrote this one in Idaho with family while getting clean at one month sober I believe ( Read more... )

I've attempted to post this entry on three different occasions. Each time I've been summoned to do something else instead. A request by the lady for mine and my brothers help folding the cloth napkins. Father demanding my presence to accompany him for an evening cigarette. My third attempt was thwarted by his stating I needed to take Mamma Martinez ( Read more... )

I wish I still had my laptop. My psychotic ex-roommate stole both my Powerbook G4 and My Toshiba Satellite, along with everything else I owned. When My cousin went to work last night he allowed me the use of his newly acquired Lenova thinkpad. After this post I'm going to drag my ass upstairs to bed finally but for the last nearly eight hours I've ( Read more... )

I haven't used or even looked at this account in years. Much like I spent a year out of contact with family and friends. I've returned to my blood, and as of late I've found myself dissatisfied with other sites vaguely resembling this one. None of them were quite right, all lacking that thing that made me jump aboard the lj train. Quite frankly ( Read more... )