i don't know why i decided to start writing in this again, maybe it's because it's fun to read the past entries that i have written - so it would be cool to someday read this one. it's weird to think about how much has changed and how much really hasn't. it's funny to think that i used to refer to everyone as my bitch and that boys were my main ( Read more... )

i feel so helpless and i hate it. i just want to relieve alex of all the problems he's facing but i can't. he is a miracle i'm telling you - and he's handed such shitty situations. i'm in love with the person he is and the person he wants to be. it's just so aggrevating because i don't want to sound selfish but i wish we could just be together ( Read more... )

so it's christmas eve and i'm freaking sick. explain to me why life hands me all of these annoying things to do deal with?!

on another note..my bf is <333333333333333

time to go wrap some more gifts and prob sneeze all over them

so i got accepted to college yesterday!! penn state altoona.. and i'm so relieved. even though it's not my top choice - i got in and i am SO HAPPY ( Read more... )

soimetthisguy.andhemakesmyheartleap.

in other news, i'm happy except with the whole fam. situation. i'm really dreading tomorrow. going to be the most awkward and uncomfortable situation EVER ( Read more... )

break was relaxing. im so relieved that i got the grad. proj. done and did it well. i can now go home right after school YAY! my brother was home so it was nice having him around. this house gets so lonely with just me and my mom.. especially since she's barely here ( Read more... )

whattup whattup! this weekend was mediocre. people are DEFINATELY crazy and funny as shit lol. i think i'm over the whole deal with him. i'm never going to get what i want so whatevvv.

off to school tomorrow ever though we're off. how funny is that shit?

today was not fun at all. leaving felt really good, though. it started to drizzle and i just wanted it to start pouring so i could run and dance in it.

i've lost so many close friends it's disgusting. i guess it will make it easier to leave in aug. so whatevv. loneliness is what i will feel until then - UNLESS the most wonderful thing EVER ( Read more... )

this weekend was absolutely amazing. i did what i wanted to do and had so much fun.

i'm sure tomorrow will squash all of my happiness b/c it's back to the realistic fact that she's still there. but at least i can remember that night. and him. without herlaguna beach's finale is tomorrow night and so i don't know what i will look forward to ( Read more... )

i don't want this feeling to end but it must b/c the feeling isn't mutual or he just can't express his feelings right now. and i can't sit here and wait and be upset. i really think that i fell for him which is extremely abnormal. he's absolutely perfect.

this fucking sucks

but i have to do what's best for me..