2 more weeks til i turn 21, i should be happy, but instead i have no job, room mates who hate me, and im so fucking in debt.

this is the worst, but i'll still smile, of course ill fucking smile.

i always do, regardless.

and thats just the beginning of the problems...

everything is changing, but i know it is only a transition into something else. the thing is that im afraid of what that something else is.

i need next week to come as fast as possible.

i need to start doing the things i keep saying im going to do

i need to get the fuck out of here. its just a matter of time before im gone, and i cant wait.

………..I’ve fallen into a shitty mental state again, but hey my life is shitty, so I guess I’m allowed. I can’t stand my family at all, ever. There is always something that they feel strongly about, and all they do is bitch and complain. So much of what comes out of their mouths I render useless. At dinner I keep my eyes glued to my plate, ( Read more... )

I am so incredibly jealous of people who have faith. I wish I had something to believe in, it just seems so much easier for them.

i feel like im screaming, but no one can hear me.

i dont even know anymore.

i need a positive change, get me out of this hole (leominster)

months ago we ventured off to dans house and partied a little, well actually a lot. I smoked at alicias house with nick cause grammy was out of town but carolyn kept asking me questions about smoking drugs. haha the terminology she was using was the best. One fine saturday, alicia, mike, ryan, jake, kristy, and I went to Bean town, Dick's last ( Read more... )

it is really, veritably, bothering me that i do not do things wrong in my life. yeah i drink and smoke and what not, but i do not ever do anything that could have an actual drastic adverse affect on my life. i do not even make the progression towards any overtures that could lead myself onto the wrong side of the tracks. am i missing out on ( Read more... )

i feel that there are only a few people that i would like to be stranded on an ANYWHERE BUT HERE island type of place ( Read more... )