Well Im not gonna bother making my post privet. It isnt like anyone bothers to read this anymore. Thoes who know about it have either forgotten I have this or dont care. So oh well. So right after Howallen I got in a fight with Mikie. Well first I got in a fight with one of his friends. Who is all stupidly defencive over Lena. But whatever. Anyway ( Read more... )

Well for the most part today is better. Jose and I had a really bad fight. Mainly about Mikie. But not all of it. I was pissed he lied to me. Him telling me he did it to keep a smile on my face and happy is bullshit. Dont fucken lie to me. For real ( Read more... )

Im so fucken tired of people. Last night Joes chick was dumb. Today Patsy disrespected my grandmother. Tonight Mikies fuckin little friend is a dumb ass bitch. Hes all mad at me and frankly Im fine with it. He can be mad. And fuck it I am a racist person I guess. Cause I can not fucken stand stupid ass black woman. THey are fucken dumb. I think Im ( Read more... )

Im a addict. My dear Im a addict. I have looked up NA meetings. I think I am going to try and make one today. I keep telling myself I can get threw this. I am just am not sure anymore. I broke down and took some oxy today. I made it 6 fucking days. And I broke down. Im so ashamed of myself. So I need to start somewhere. I need help. Im lost and ( Read more... )

fuck everything...why bother falling in love,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,im done

Why can't I have a day where both my body and my mind are are on the same page? I don't feel like death today, feel like royal shit but not death. So it was nice being able to take a shower and not pass out, or lose my breath. Hell be able to stay awake for that matter. But my mind today is fucked. I am stuck on so freakin much. I am missing my ( Read more... )

Desire... what is desire to us today? Desire, regret, hope. As I get older they seem to hold so much more meaning then they once had. Regrets, I have a million of petty regrets. But there is one that Im worried I will never be able to make up for. I had once had you. you were mine, and I was yours. I still feel that lingering contentment. I feel ( Read more... )

He's kissing my neck, hold my hips and he pulls me up closer to him from behind. Slide his arms around me and just hold me. Hold me and not let me go. A lovely romantic night, a night that is just for me. One that makes me feel like Im worth even more then I belive. I can feel his lips slowly moving down my body cressing my brest, and my shoulders ( Read more... )

I am so so so tired of feeling like I'm losing my mind. I feel so out of control. I have started using again. I am using getting high for all the wrong reasons. I want to just chill and not worry so much about everything. I want to be able to breath. I can't anymore. I can't see stright Icant think clearly. I hide so much and I'm so tired of hiding ( Read more... )

I spent so long being anti social. I have no clue how to talk to people. I am a bitch, even when I have no intention of being a bitch. I feel like shit right now. I hurt people because I don't know how to say stuff. Matthew he has got the crap end of the stick when it comes to dealing with me and my attitude. He is the only one around enough ( Read more... )