...I think there should be a movie of my life. Nothing big, no box office block buster. Just something like those old school home video type dealies, film on a reel or something like that. I have no idea where I got this little notion in my head, but it hit me today. Sometimes I think I'd just like to sit back and watch all the moments of my ( Read more... )

So one of my EQ accounts was stolen. With about 500k worth of gear on it. If you arent an EQ player, that means didley and squat to you. If you ARE a player, than you can perfectly understand how pissed I am. Past that point ( Read more... )

So I've been working on the pysch ward at the VA hospital for a week now. Ya know what folks...I thought I was just a bit on the crazy side myself...so did a lot of other people I know. I now know I only qualify as mildly eccentric. You reconfigure your way of looking at things when you're being cussed out by a schizoaffective bipolar type ( Read more... )

So I figured out what this feeling is...I finally connected it to whats causing everything...the mild melancholy that hits every now and then ( Read more... )

So...I've been diagnosed with late onset migraines. Fun stuff. Apparently I've been having them the last two months, and just thought they were monster headaches. The latest one happened Monday, and they had to drug me up in the ER just to get it to go away. Then they told me that there was good news, and bad news. The bad news is, I have ( Read more... )

I want to find out today if anyone has ever become a complete "negative feed" as I like to call it. Totally incapable of actually "feeling" an emotion, just thinking it. Its something I've wanted to know for a while, and now I have the capacity to find out ( Read more... )

The road I travel gets dark sometimes. I make mistakes like every other human being. Sometimes those mistakes cause the ones I love no amount of pain. Sometimes they do. Sometimes they create a schism so wide its never repaired ( Read more... )

The following backdated entries were done in classes during patient counselingSometimes its easier to put things on paper than to say them out loud. Notebooks dont talk back, they dont judge, they have no opinion except the one you give them. They are more closed lipped than the Vatican...at least about some things. I think thats why I always ( Read more... )

I had a nightmare Thursday. Not the typical monster nightmare others have. Mine reach far deeper in to me, and become things that utterly sicken me...I wake from them physically hurting from whatever nastiness my subconscious has forced on me ( Read more... )

Its not as hard as you think. Some people do it in booze, others do it in drugs, some...like some people I know, do it in a web of self deluding self pity and omg the world is ending and I hate this and they lose sight of the fact that they are A L I V E and that is the greatest gift ever given to anyone ( Read more... )