Miyazaki just isn't the same without her.

[ghostlight]

I have written small notes in my ubiquitous journal, including two pre-drafts of a poem, but every time I write a nice entry in there I seem to miss a day of sleep and then the world comes crashing down the next day - I can't concentrate, and several times I wept openly at my desk

Comments

[agentvaughan]

Youre probably not bipolar. Thats a more serious condition than people think. Youre just going through shit. Whats a hongi?

[ghostlight]

It's a formal Maori greeting where you press your noses together in order to intermingle your life force.

[agentvaughan]

Oh it sounds like food. And I agree with Mai.

[ghostlight]

You can have food at a hangi, which is basically a Maori equivalent of a barbecue.

And yeah, but last I checked neither of you were volunteering.

[girlyunderwear]

You need to find someone else, if you wanna get out of this. Until then keep reading and writing.

[iamred]

i have spent the last 4 hours going through my journal, from the beginning in 2001 til about 2004. there are soo many entries that talk about you. its amazing how time flies. and everything is a huge blur.

and lately for me how i deal with things is through memories, because its usually all i have. i have really cut myself off from soo many people and everything around me. because i have a hard time dealing with stuff. its all overwhelming.

i want you to know, and i know i have said this before, that i do think about you from time to time, and i may not come and write to you and i may not come and say it, but i mean it.

at one time you were a huge part of me. at one time i was soo lost in you. at one time i loved you with everything that i was.

im telling you this now, because you are not alone in your thoughts. there is always someone somewhere Mike, that cares and thinks of you. even if you haven't talked to them in years.

to be honest, i miss our friendship.
i miss our talks.
i miss you.

[ghostlight]

All of those days seem like such a distant memory. I don't know where all those pieces of me went. What is it that we leave behind in the wake of time.

Born to bleed our life across the stars.

[iamred]

you know when i try to think about those times, i have a hard time remembering, reading all those things were like a past life. i knew i wrote them, i know i felt them, but it was so long ago. so far away.

however, i remember our friendship, and the times we talked, and what it was like to know you.

and i really want you to know, you are not alone. even if those days are faded from your memory, that was the past, and this is the present.

i hope you are feeling somewhat better over there.

-hugs

[ghostlight]

I can.

I'm a little…sentimental, about books. In a novel of the future I would be the underground character with a room full of books and a musty old chair that the hero visits to get information that's purged from the net.