I hate myself.
I hate myself.
I hate myself.
I want myself to be erased from the world.
I'm to deep in this hole now>
I needed to talk about it months ago and now I'm to far in.
I want myself gone.

If I had never been born, so many people would of had a better life.
I want to go away.

 Kay: "How long have you liked Gillian?"
Dane: "For fucking ever!"

Okay I'll explain.
I've always had feelings for Dane, but I would rather die than have a relationship with him. He's my best friend, the only person who understands me and knows me for fucking well. Yes, I'll say it again. I do like Dane and in a way I do want to try to have a ( Read more... )

 So basically I haven't wrote anything lately but thats only because Danny read my last post and I'm kinda scared that if I type anything else that he will read it and hate me.
I do have things to say. But things I don't want him to read.
I know its kinda stupid of me to have a livejournal when anybody in the world could read it. But with people who ( Read more... )

 I've come to the realization that I'm annoying and hard to understand an deal with.
I totally flipped a bitch on Danny about two minutes ago over something so stupid like music.
It was probably because I've been there to do the Akey on flute for the week and have made no progress what's so ever so when he brought music up a told him I hated him and ( Read more... )

 This journal entry to about Danny, therefore I doubt you would even like to read it. So I am now warning now, I do complain, whin, and basically you feel sorry for this kid. So again, you are being warned. You might find me annoying, and needy after, or maybe even a bitch?
Truthfully, I do care for him dearly. More than I really wish I did, only ( Read more... )

It's quite pathetic of me to draw blanks on an essay, I'm always so open and free like everything I need to say flows from my fingertips onto the screen. Not this time of course.
I mean, homosexual parenting, how hard is that topic?
I usually get it done the day it was give to me, but I've waiting until the last minute. And now I'm at a stop. ( Read more... )

 So basically, I'm sick of all these fake friends I open my life to.
Of course I didn't know that were shit until they hurt me but I seriously have like a sign on my forehead that says "Shitty friends come here."
Alex of course being the down right lowest. 
Other than that I think I lost my best friend. Nothing bad happened.. I guess but she just ( Read more... )

 You know what I've decided? I uncontrollably truthfully loath mustard. It makes me gag. 
In other news, I have that dang feeling in my stomach again.
I feel like a mother, in some ways.
I worried as fuck about tonight with Danny in the mosh pit. I just hope be didn't get hurt.
Oh My God. Okay I'm stopping now, I'm gonna stop talking about Danny and ( Read more... )

 OMGSH. Mike is coming back here from Washington to visit in March! I am so excited!
XDD!!!!
I don't know how long he's here for but I already told my mom that I'd be chilling with him after school until he leaves and she's cool with that. He's staying at Troy's house so Troy's parents are going to get sooo sick of me.
But I don't care, I miss that ( Read more... )

 Why am I crying?
Everything is solved.
But it was this one weekend that we were actually going to hang out, and because I was pissed at him yesterday night I told him that it was canceled.
Then Kyler jumped on him and now he's going to a show.
I am so jealous right now. 
She gets to hang out with him.
And I can't.
And its a fucking three day weekend.
It ( Read more... )