it sucks how the only thing im successful at is failing.. and so far its been proving itself right in too many aspects.. but now is the time im forced to remind myself that 'such is life'........ fuck!

damn.. didnt even realize how fast this vacation from school went by.. oh well.. got a new mindfulness book that im reading, its called 'peace is every step'.. its written by a vietnamise buddhist monk, thich nhat hanh.. and so far its great.. not that any of you assholes care though, so good riddence to bad rubbish.. heh

so yea tryin to find someone to chill with is a lot harder than i expected.. fuckin bummer..

its funny how i promised myself how i would keep the morbid posts off of here when i restarted this bullshit.. but i suppose ive proven how worthy a teenagers words could be yet again.. i dunno if i even want to bother with this shit anymore.. the only things that come to mind when i fill in this damned box are generally downed feelings, and im ( Read more... )

wednesday is much anticipated now.. the crack in my mental damn, that for so long has prevented a flood of mental grief, feels as if its been growing rather than the hope of subsiding.. yet the maniacle laughter i use to blinside common sense has left me in a haze of my own ignorace... buh..its all just a lost cause..

damn it..

i feel as if ima walkin talkin oxymoron.. my thoughts are screamin yet i remain speechless.. lifes a time bomb..

i hate how mental dilemas now leave me able to recognize my meloncholy madness yet again.. its a side ive dwelled too long in, and yet not matter how hard the attempt i cant escape the haze.. yea.. im lookin forward to the next break from the fog..

"Ancient formulas of exorcisms and excommunications
that witches and those made wolves believe
I maim now the demon clothed in wolfskin
Having to hide in the hollow of a tree
I believe that they so can be changed."

im hopin that tonight will be more eventful than im noticing.. but im startin to see that it'll be a fat chance in hell... bummer..

i forgot how pshycadelic fantasia is.. damn.. im lookin forward to my next voyage in the mind-craft.. but for more reasons than one.. heh.. its nice not feelin like absolute shit.