I have been turned down by the Elf. Time for a new plan of action there. I shall now plot. *pulls out copy of Thumblina*

What? These are very educational, yo.

While I was smacking that orc with my axe, the kids went missing.

Gwaihir must have them. They're poor innocent vegan minds! Terrible.

So I made a break for it.

My offer to Legolas stays open.

Legoslutlas! How could you turn your face from me after seeing our chemistry in The Two Towers!? We were meant to be, you and I. Like Bogey and Becall. Buttercup and Westly. Timon and Pumba! I love you, you silly elf. Don't marry Boroslut. Give us the chance we deserve.

It's been long and it has been hard.

But me and Gwaihir's babies have finally succeeded in tunneling our way to freedom.

Freedom looks remarkebly like the resort but my direction underground is perfect and this is just a coincidence.

Yes.

I did not just see an eagle.

Couldn't take it anymore. And well, a girl's gotta do what a girl's gotta do ( Read more... )

Oh god. Someone save me. The beaks, lord, the beaks. Everywhere. Sqwaking. Going on about tiny semantics and picking at your words ( Read more... )

Elves, elves everywhere and not a drop to dr ( Read more... )

My username has a slight error in it.

Somewhere in the books I assume all of you have stashed away somewhere, there's a note in the appendixes about what female dwarves do when they wander out from the nice little caves.

Yes.

Anyhow, I'm going to go sharpen my axe and go back to searching for the meaning of life via random one-liner nonsense.

Mun, what mun?

...

...Weasel.