So maybe I've been writing again

[ginzai]

I think I haven't updated this particular journal in nigh on two and a half years. Maybe more, at this point. It's been a long time, anyway. But this has always sort of been my writing and fandom journal and lately, well, I've been having more writing and fandom type thoughts. So in that vein, SPN finale coda fic, anyone

Comments

[ginzai]

Thanks for the catches. I'm still sort of poking at it and cleaning things up and I still sort of think that he's coming out too guilt-ridden, but he so would be right now. Less so the morning after (and less so even more after Dean gets pissed the fuck off about the voicemail, but that felt a bit overdone to crowbar that revelation in as well) but the night of? I don't think Sam's going to be too pleased with himself right now, that's all I'm saying.

[ginzai]

*pokes fic* It doesn't feel quite right to me. I've pruned a bit of it back because it just felt too much and this isn't an "oh, la, I've got the vapours!" Sam, this is a sort of still reeling Sam who is going to be devastated for a bit and then is going to go out and kick some ass and take some names. Just not tonight. And it felt like I wasn't ascribing enough of the blame to Dean right now, even though Dean has his own cross to bear for all this, but unreliable narrator, you know?

Man, I need to get better at bringing across a second character's POV from
the third person limited of the first.

[leelust]

Yep. Like it.
But you got me thinking. Are we sure Dean didn't tell Sam about breaking the first seal and that he now has to stop (finish) what he started? I thought Sam knew. Maybe not in full details but knew anyway? I'm confused.

And about that nurse's name - she told him so i got it you meant he didn't remember?

[ginzai]

Thanks

[leelust]

It's ok i got it :)

As for knowing about Dean's role i'm still confused (by the show). It's been told not once that Dean tells everything important to sam. On the other hand he didn't have time sometimes (as you've mentioned). But there was 418 when Sam could easily to read about all that considering his unhealthy desire to know why angels chose Dean over His Awesomeness. So i'm not sure what to think about it now... *not your fault of course but your fic made me think of it*

[ginzai]

I think right up until the bit with the Siren, Dean shared pretty much everything with Sam. He told him about Mary and the hunting, his trip back in time, he told him as much as he was able to about Hell, and so on. He didn't open up about his emotions or what he was feeling, but the important stuff, the things Sam might be impacted by, that he was able to share. And then Sam threw it all back in his face in 4x14 and it was just too much, you know? And with Sam lying to his face and treating him (in Dean's words) like an idiot, there was no way he'd open up against about anything significant.

But there was 418 when Sam could easily to read about all that considering his unhealthy desire to know why angels chose Dean over His Awesomeness. So i'm not sure what to think about it now... OH MAN, THAT'S A BRILLIANT IDEA! I *SO* now want to read about Sam sneaking off to buy the entire Supernatural book series so he can try and get some insight into Dean's head or reading up on the forums to see what meta the fans have produced. XD

[klutzy_girl]

Great fic. I loved this so much. I nearly ended up crying by the end of this. This is going in my memories.

Angsty!Sammy was the best, as was Guilty!Sammy.

And then there was hope at the end.

[ginzai]

Thank you so much! Yeah, I think Sam's not going to be feeling too pleased with himself right now, but there's definitely still hope that things can be turned around. Winchesters FTW!

[vesuvianite]

Aw, darn, I thought you were going to let Sam find out what Dean had *really* said in that voicemail.

Shoot. Maybe you need a coda to your coda? ;-)

Very well done, though. Your Sam POV seemed pretty spot-on. And I liked how Dean kept going back and forth to the window. Who *would* be able to stay away from the window, not knowing when Armageddon was going to commence?

[ginzai]

Thank you! I was kind of nervous about my Sam, so I'm really glad to hear you thought that he worked.

My internal version of the Voicemail Scene is that either Dean makes a reference to Sam's owed asskicking (which makes Sam flinch, because he'd take that as Dean's promise to end him) or Sam makes a comment about how Dean really DOES view him as a monster, thanks for the call (which leaves Dean going all "bzwuh?") and either way, Dean is able to figure out that whatever message he sent was NOT the one that Sam heard. So he forces Sam to give him the phone so he can listen to it. And then Dean basically goes apocalyptic himself because you don't mess with Dean Winchester's "let's make up" speech without some serious ass-whupping commencing. XD

[vesuvianite]

And then Dean basically goes apocalyptic himself because you don't mess with Dean Winchester's "let's make up" speech without some serious ass-whupping commencing. XD

*vbg*

Re: darn again, i too was hoping

[ginzai]

Thank you! Your thoughts on Sam were in my mind as I wrote this, actually, so I'm really glad to hear that you liked the story.

As for the voicemail, I thought about trying to work it in there but kinda came up on a brick wall. I mean, when have the Winchesters ever made it that easy for themselves? I've got my thoughts about how Sam would find out (and exactly how outraged Dean would be) but it felt like shoving too much in to try and work it out all in one go.

Re: darn again, i too was hoping

[ginzai]

Aw, but it's no fun if we make it too easy for them