It's been a rainstorm of deaths, and I just recently lost a really valuable family friend whom was like a second dad my entire childhood. So I made a promise to try to put family first, as well as my health. I'm going to join a gym, and make a goal set of a weight loss of 90 pounds by next year. I have far too much to lose, and possibility of heart ( Read more... )

I messed up, like in the biggest way possible. I'm ashamed of how I acted, and the way I neglected an amazing friend. I've tried talking to them, but their on eggshells about even responding back. Which understandable, by trying to better myself and get back to reality I cut them out but not on purpose. I wish I could go back in time, kick my own ( Read more... )

I still have the cough, where I feel my back curl and my kidneys scream for dear life. I still am exhausted, because the meds knock me out for most of the day and I'm in a drug acoma Dr. perscribed remind you. I'm really depressed, when I do feel better somone always has something to say to ruin the moment. I don't eat alot, but I've gained weight ( Read more... )

Almost got rid of this dirt nasty bronchitis epidemic. It's had me in it;s grasp for about a week, and mind you I've been sleepless most of that time. I can't sleep walk myself to the bathrroom to be sick, damn it all. I've paid for my account once more now that I have some time to give a slight preview into my now cursed and sick world, I'm almost ( Read more... )

 I finally caved and went to the ER, out of exhaustion and a panic attack I had enough I lasted a week of being sick. I only have bronchitis, the nice man gave me Codine to help control the cough and keep the nasuea at bay. I'm a happy duckling, although is makes me delusional and sleepy I'm making a reapid recovery. So yes, If I dont anwser my ( Read more... )

I've been sick for weeks at a time, but today there was some hope in me recovering from my allergies. I got sick, like hold the toilet bowl on the sides for dear life sick. I now feel like I'm melting, and have little energy at all. I just want to shower and then take a nap, and see where I go from there. Today was going to be the first day I felt ( Read more... )

An endless spiral, of uncertainties. My main concern,,as always is my sanity. How do you know when to ngive up, and when to push yourself further to see how much firther you can go? I feel myself slipping, slolwly into a nothingless rutt and I'm grasping for anything but it's all loose ends. When you see an abyss, of which is supposed to be your ( Read more... )

I've been crying myself to sleep lately, and when I'm all cried out I sleep restlessly.
And the one person I need, is barely giving me the time of day.
But that's my stupidity, kicking me in the ass once more.

Well Mark's in Iraq, they gave him the official job of convoy gunner. I almost passed the fuck out, when I was told. But unfortunately, in the military they stick you exactly where they need you. So I've been stressing over that a few days, but haven;t said much because I'm just besides myself on what to do ( Read more... )

Yeah I lost track of myself my apologies, I have an crazy amount of things going on and it consumed me for a bit. Let's see where do I begin...

Mark left for Germany hesitantly, then 5 days after being there he found out in October he's going to Iraq. But after 6 months of being over there, he can come home for 3 weeks. I get a chance every now and ( Read more... )