YOUR GANGSTA NAME: (first 3 letters of real name plus izzle) Claizzle ( Read more... )

Feeling a bit trigger happy right now. I really want a child of my own its just biology. Rich says no well the excuses range from after we are married to when we can afford to - well that means never. If I cant have one then whats the purpose of life - if I cant be a natural woman then im nothing not even human I might as well just die.

I really want one it hurts, there is a space inside me yearning for one. When I see one I cry because its not mine. I must be crazy! I have the man I have a have a home being rented but it is a roof and im getting married. Im also getting old ad my body needs to do this now.

Looking through the holiday photos I look so fat. Every one says I look better for the weight, granted my boobs look fantastic, but my belly well its all baggy and yuk. no wonder Rich has gone off me.
Its amazing what you see looking from the outside in.

How come when I'm in a good mood everyone else is in a shit?
Maybe is I spend my whole life miserable everyone else would be happy

Walking to work today there was a car coming up from down the winding country road, annoyingly beeping at every slight bend in the road I wondered 'whats the point?' who are you trying to warn? most like themselves drive slow enough not to hit a car coming in the oncoming direction. Those who dont and tear about tend to have lowered suspension chav ( Read more... )

How come when you are surrounded by people you dont like you feel so alone?

Oh well Had a great weekend even did the bathroom tiling, cleaned house, chilled out and washed inside of cars.

Good - I havent properly self harmed in years
bad - I still feel like i should, i have scratched
Good - eating disorder seem to have faded
Bad - I'm a little porker now
Good - I have a job and a good wage
Bad - I hate the people I work with and being bullied
Good - I am engaged to a nice bloke
Bad - I feel ive lost part of myself

Yesterday felt like a friday, which means today should be a saturday but its not its really friday. I feels like an extra day at work.
I hop today is better, certain people in better moods to lift the day. Work sucks when you are surrounded by back stabbing bitches.

ok so they sold part of the company i work for. the good part the exciting actually do stuff in a day part. so im stuck in a even more boring job as my role was / is in the other bit they keeping mainly. thing is the developers? that bought it are coming to see it tomorrow. you would thing spending 100 million on a place you might want to see it ( Read more... )