I like our new receptionist so much I picked her up WENDY'S [as in the food ( Read more... )

I read over the past few months of my lj the other night and it stung after the bitch slap of two latent realities now all up in my face (it’s cute, the way proximity blinds you ( Read more... )

It doesn't matter anymore.

I got drunk at a backyard wedding [Cody's Guitar Center manager] last night and spilled beer over mine and Cody’s dress attire and we laughed too loud [apparently made a scene] between precious wedding moments and the groom sling shot his wife’s guarder thing to his homeboys behind his back while they just hunched together indifferent as it fell to ( Read more... )

I stash it like drugs. My dirty little secret is that I know what my problem is. I just don’t want you to. I have the scapegoats grazing, but I know it, I know I've got it bad. I know it's bad when I see a random girl that reminds me of her and my stomach suddenly feels infested ( Read more... )

We were in bed together, watching the sun stream through the window. I was happy in a sad sort of way, because I knew this was never going to work ( Read more... )

God damnit. Adding overheardnyc to my friends list was the best thing I've ever done in life.

You don't get to know the rest anymore.

and you just can't seem to follow through with
anything that you start to do
you leave the television talking to
the empty air
you leave your plate half full
and you comb half your hair.
what are you gonna do
you are living all alone
there's no place to go out
and no reason to come home.

I came home to find Esmeralda dead in the Riesling bottle. I’m sorry, Keri. My mind power to torture was stronger than your mind power to free. I should be happy cause I win, but really I just want a California roll.

Gold I’m so drunkl.

cody and casey started their own business, windowizards. so like, my mom thought she's be nice and hire them to clean the windows at our office. and he's up on this 2,102,934 ft. ladder squeeging windows right in front of me propelled in the air as we speak...using both his hands to clean the window and no hands to grip into anything of stability ( Read more... )