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The dream police, they live inside of my bed. The dream police, they come to me in my head.
I had a rather unpleasant dream the other night that made me realize that perhaps I need to turn the television off every now and then. Thanks to the oversaturation of Harry Potter and Burlesque commercials currently airing I dreamed that Cher and Voldemort had teamed up to kill me for whatever reason. I don't remember specifics, just that it was ( Read more... ) -
My cat's breath smells like cat food.
I just realized I haven't posted a picture of one of my cats (or anything) to LiveJournal in awhile, so here you go:
( My cat's name is mittens. ) -
You might even say I hate the post office. That, and my parents. Lousy beatniks.
Gawker’s Richard Lawson is probably my favourite writer on the internet at the moment (his American Idol recaps were works of art and I didn’t even watch the show). This particular article, about Richard’s need to get angry by deliberately seeking out content that disagrees with his personal beliefs, resonated with me because that is what I spend ( Read more... ) -
Goodbye mind-numbing, back-breaking labour forever. Hello, dream job in paradise.
I think I'm going back to school in September to get into public relations. Nothing sounds more fun than writing press releases about 65 guinea pigs dying from eating poisoned oranges. Rejoice, for I have found my true calling in life ( Read more... ) -
Here you are, among the top one hundred and five concert acts today. What's your secret, guys?
That's right, I'm updating from work because I don't yet have internet installed in my new place. I moved in on Saturday and unpacked everything yesterday. Today was supposed to be my day to call the cable company and get everything set up but, as luck would have it, my manager is stuck under a cloud of volcanic ash in London so I'm covering for ( Read more... ) -
I'm the magical man from Happyland, in a gumdrop house on Lollipop Lane!
Kim Jong-Il claims to be an internation fashion icon.
I don’t think it’s possible to write about Kim Jong-Il and not sound sarcastic while doing it: “Rainbows supposedly appeared over sacred Mount Paekdu where Kim Jong-Il was allegedly born, and he is said once to have scored 11 holes-in-one in a single round of golf.” (Emphasis mine) -
Now, slow down, Neddy. The homebuyer's course said, "Always look inside the house before buying."
Thanks to things like Twitter and Tumblr I almost forgot Livejournal existed. The internet, she is very fickle, no? Well, I'm back. For now. I know I've pulled this kind of thing before and I'll probably do it again, but I'm here at the moment. And that's something, right ( Read more... ) -
So, why do they call this a Urine Monkey?
It seems that the announcement that Conan is indeed leaving The Tonight Show and NBC all together is imminent, so I just have one more thought to add about this whole shitfest. Maybe. I can't promise it will indeed be my last thought. Going back on your word seems to be all the rage these days (Hi-yo!).
Anyways.
I know hosting The Tonight Show ( Read more... ) -
Sit perfectly still. Only I may dance.
I held a grudge against Jimmy Kimmel for a very long time because of The Man Show. It was sophmoric and sexist and every other derogatory term I can think of. And I hated Adam Corolla's voice (but I guess I can't hold that against Kimmel). Then a couple of years ago I accidentally (or something) watched an episode or two of Jimmy Kimmel Live and I ( Read more... ) -
Christmas is a time when people of ALL religions come together to worship Jesus Christ.
Christmas was a good one this year. My cousin, Dayna, and her fiance, Billy (who is 40 years old and still calls himself Billy. Really nice guy, however!) held it at their acreage in Spruce Grove. It was both our family and Billy's family, and for the first time since I was a kid there were children at Christmas dinner. They kept to themselves and ( Read more... )