Toddler pointing out window: Fuck, fuck.
Mother: No, that's 'truck.' Tuh-tuh-tuh-truck.
Toddler: Tuh-tuh-tuh-fuck.
Mother: Oh, man.

Boyfriend: I'm sorry, I just can't be with you anymore. You're too clingy ( Read more... )

Bimbo tourist #1: Anyway, so when he pulled it out of me it made this farting noise, and I know it wasn't a fart because it didn't smell, and... It was just really embarrassing.
Bimbo tourist #2: Quip.
Bimbo tourist #1: What?
Bimbo tourist #2: A quip. The farting noise, it's called a 'quip.'
Bimbo tourist #1: Oh, they have a name for it? Wow.
Bimbo ( Read more... )

So I wasn't going to audition for Rocky Horror, in fact I didn't, but due to a movement of the date of the show one girl can't do it, so it looks like I'm going to be playing Columbia for at least the 8:30 show (probably not the later one) on Nov. 3. I'm kind of excited, really ( Read more... )

Guy #1: You know that Anton Webern's Quartet for the End of Time was performed in a concentration camp? Crazy ( Read more... )

so it looks like that audition was worth about squat. no callback for lizzy, hence, no part. not to sound emo, but it will be difficult to possibly pursue a theatre performance major if i never get cast.

i should just stick with linguistics. it doesn't judge you and find you wanting.

dammit.

You Are 40% Weird
( Read more... )

The Keys to Your Heart
( Read more... )

Guy on cell: Wait...Christ! It's gayer than three snaps in Z formation in here.

oh those New Yorkers.

Proselytizer: Listen! Listen to me! You must abstain! Abstinence is the only way! I tell you the truth--if you have sex, you will get pregnant, you will get an STD, and you will die!