1. Be "vaccinated" for smallpox. I use the term vaccinated loosely, as all they did, and I may be simplifying this a bit, was stick a pointy piece of metal in a jar, and stab me with it 3 times. Not a needle; it looked more like a dental pick. Now I have smallpox, and I have to wash it and wait for it to get gross and scab over. Also, I shouldn't
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