So, things have been weird. I'm finding out that things are not how I've felt that they've been for a while. I am not, to other people, how I thought they percieved me and I can't figure out how to fix it. And the worst part is, I don't really think that I have anything to fix, because I truthfully never thought that I was doing anything wrong. I ( Read more... )

I am lost. I'm in New York for the week, actually I am leaving tomorrow to go to Washington for a few days, and I must say, this has been the most hectic vacation. With my mom's side of the family and my dad's side of the family both wanting attention I am constantly busy. My phone has been ringing off the hook and I can't seem to answer it and ( Read more... )

I need a job. I don't know what to do, but I can't find one anywhere. I've been looking, applying, calling and such and still no job. Everyone thinks I'm not trying hard enough...like I'm not truly trying to find a job, but I actually am trying hard to find one. I've gone to places I didn't want to apply to, places I don't want to work. My parents ( Read more... )

I don't really know what to say, and I don't really know why...I'm looking forward to pastry school in the Fall. I wish that it were October and that classes had already started. I'm beginning to feel useless...for once I actually miss school...

Whoa, I have noticed that all my previous entries have been negative. I guess I only post because there is something wrong. That needs to change...I will make my posty things happy!

So, I moved home. Holy moley, I can't believe how different things are here. I knew that it would be different, but when I get down to it, I can't believe how different it is. I feel different here. My priorities are differnt, who I am is differnt. I feel like I'm constantly looked upon like I need to imporve myself, like I'm not good enough. I ( Read more... )

I'm trying to be strong and not show emotion...but I feel like I'm coming off cold and detached. My feelings of sadness are like another day of clouds and no sun in a long cold winter. They seem unrelenting and unchangeable. I'm trying to tell myself that I'm overreacting, that nothing will change, that things will be happy and right...how they ( Read more... )

I don't really know what to write. I'm hoping to figure out why I feel so weird. Part of me thinks it's that I'm just tired and another part of me thinks that it's because of the pressure to be thin (because I'm not). The pressure is not only from society because that's always there...but from family, indirectly I feel like they have dropped a ( Read more... )

I'm not happy and for some reason I can't get happy. There is one month left of school and all the sudden I've taken a down turn. I feel like I'm failing as the person I should be. I haven't accomplished anything that I've wanted to, I'm not on the path of accomplishing what I want to and while I'm sitting here not doing what I should be, I'm sad ( Read more... )

 So I'm sitting here not being able to sleep...and wishing that I was sleeping like Bryan is. I don't know if I can't sleep because I'm not tired or because I can't stop thinking. I hate the fact that Bryan and I are leaving our apartment next month, I hate that we're not going to be living together. I hate that I'm going to miss Bryan so much when ( Read more... )