I kind of love the countdown stress.

I move and travel a lot, so the feeling of "I'm-not-gonna-be-here-much-longer" is nothing new to me, and I've come to kind of enjoy it.  A few months ago, when there was no end in sight to me leaving Maryland, I was like, "Uuuuugh, fuck this boring-ass town."  Now though that I know I'm going to be gone soon, ( Read more... )

I love the imperfections ( Read more... )

Mommy and Daddy Dearest,

I never want to be either of you.  It hurts me to say it, because I want to be like the other kids: I want to say I love you and grow up to be like you.  But I didn't say those things as a child.  I'm sure as hell not saying them now.  Why do you do it, Mommy and Daddy?  Why, exactly?  Does it make you feel better to lash ( Read more... )

It's mostly just the stress, I'm sure, but...

Lately I've been feeling not only forgotten, but disliked by so many of my old friends.  I know in my heart that this isn't true, that we're all just so busy in our lives that we can't keep in touch (I know that better than best - I am absolute SHIT at keeping in touch, so the feelings I'm experiencing ( Read more... )

Power hungry bitch.

I guess that's what I am these days, but every girl goes through her control phase, does she not?  Just not all of them try to take what I am taking.  In the past years I've really made an effort to step out of the shadows and become my own person.  I've achieved that; I am no longer shy or wishy-washy, but there's one thing I ( Read more... )

Day Two of my irritated, nasty mood prevails.

I've been feeling the first tuggings of antisociality kick in these past couple of days.  At least I think it's antisociality; not sure what else to blame for my bum mood other than bad sleep.  For some reason I just want to be annoyed at everything and every person, with very few exceptions.  I've been ( Read more... )

Tonight after another closing shift, I find myself trudging home with a deep ache in my shoulders and a bad case of irritation.

Maybe I just need sleep.  My head is screaming, "Go to sleep, dumbass!"  Argh.  I can't.  My fingers demand keyboard sacrifice.

I should write a nice, well-rounded rant.  That usually lets me vent in a harmless manner and ( Read more... )

The Christmas tree is still shining in all it's glory in the corner of the living room, like that awkward geek who came to the party last and the dollar ornaments are in shambles ( Read more... )

Things have been going very well.  :)

My roomie and I get along fantabulous, I'm so glad we met.  We have plans to do some photographing together (YAY) and we go to the mall a lot.  I didn't think I'd warm up to anyone so easily, but luckily it seems my anti-sociality is certainly a thing of the past.  I love Brian and our kitty a lot you know, but ( Read more... )

I care and I care so much it hurts but not to the point where I cannot keep going.

Let me shoulder your burdens, I've got a strong back.

I listen, always.

You are never completely alone in the world.

I care about you.  To all, I am for you.

Live to love,

Vanessa